DS9 Caption Contest 100: He's the Gorram Sisko!

[T'var]

Sisco: It says so right here Jayke, a new study proves woman are attracted to facial hair and find baldness to be a sign of power.
Jayke: I don't know dad ...
Sisco: Picard is bald and he has a hot red head.

Sisco: I told them not to make me angry, they wouldn't like me if I'm angry.

Sisco: I'm telling you, baldness is a sign of power.

"Here's to all my bald acquaintances."

Sisko: Smile, it's just a game ... Oh, wait.


(Apologies for all the bald references, I couldn't resist.)

 

[Bad Thoughts]

(Apologies for all the bald references, I couldn't resist.)

Sisko: Bring me a razor. I'll have you looking like Hawk in no time.

 

[LeadHead]

So amazed and proud that this has reached its 100th contest! I remember starting this and wondering: "Would anyone post?" Right out of the gate it was embraced by this wonderful community and given so many moments of pure comedy. Congratulations Smellincoffee!

Picard: Mister Worf as requested to join your crew, I told him that there was virtually no chance that there would ever be a need for a Klingon officer in this sector.

Borg Punishments make very little sense.

Sisko: According to legend, the Bajorans used ships like these to explore their star system.

Jake: According to legend, you're a religious icon.

Sisko: You're right. Maybe I should spend the next 3 weeks doing something other than building an obsolete space ship that will fall apart if anomalies even look at it the wrong way.

Captain's Log, Never insult my cooking.

Sisko: There's no need to worry, the Caterpod harvest will be much better this year. There'll just be a massive space war, the Cardassians will take over this station, with designs on occupying Bajor again and we will all be one step away from certain defeat... Never mind, there's a lot to worry about.

Sisko: QUARK! You call this vodka?!

Sisko: (thinking) I'm really glad that he doesn't know I'm a football fan too...

 

[T'Girl]

Odo:
Any man who break my rules, spends the night in the box.
Any man who drinks Romulan ale, spends the night in the box.
Any man fighting in Quarks, spends the night in the box.

Sisko: "Damn, I never get invited to the great parties."

.

 

[f14peter]

clink-clink-clink "Dominion ... come out to plaaaaay ..." clink-clink-clink "Dominion ... come out to plaaaaaaayyyaaaaaa ..." clink-clink-clink "DOMINION ... COME OUT TO PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY!"

 

[f14peter]

"it's a DRIIIIIIIIIINK!!!!!!"

 

[JirinPanthosa]

SISKO: You see this? Pretend this glass is the caption contest, and my hand is a sticky. You don't hold up the caption contest with a sticky, *SMASH* IT DROPS!

 

[Nerys Myk]

SISKO: Are you watering the drinks again Quark?

QUARK: Never!!!!!

SISKO: Then explain this whiskey to me!

 

[Smellincoffee]

SISKO: You see this? Pretend this glass is the caption contest, and my hand is a sticky. You don't hold up the caption contest with a sticky, *SMASH* IT DROPS!

If you use a Firefly reference in the title, it seems to stick of its own accord. Shiny!

 

[Rush Limborg]

If you use a Firefly reference in the title, it seems to stick of its own accord. Shiny!

Hmm...

Sisko: Everyone...with me...

Take my love--take my land--
Take me where I cannot stand...
I don't care--I'm still free:
You can't take the sky from me...!

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: So you're peeved at me because I led the Borg straight to the Federation?
Sisko: No, I'm peeved because you didn't read my Stargazer fanfic twenty five years ago. Fortunately I have a copy right here....
Picard: Dammit Troi, what else do I keep you here for?!

Emissary of the Prophets: When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight, call Federation Express.

Sisko: An interstellar space station they had to replace five times? Sitting next to a faster-than-light travel corridor? With Judeo-Christianesque religious iconography set in space? Nobody will believe this crap, Jake. Why not riff Ark II, they had a talking monkey!

Sisko: Um, maybe bat'leth tag wasn't that much better than laser tag after all.

Sisko: Let me guess, the earring was a black thing first, am I right?
Bajoran: I have no idea what you are talking about.
Sisko: Yeah, he knows what I'm saying!

Sisko: Log deleted?? Computer, I just meant delete that last part about Kira's butt.

Sisko: Wow, a built in batting helmet - genius!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Sisko: BRING ME MORE PICTURES TO CAPTION!

24 hour warning!

 

[LeadHead]

Sisko: On second thought, maybe I should have taken the criticisms of my cooking constructively.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SISKO: I'm not cleaning this up!

 

[LeadHead]

Sisko: Did I leave the oven on?

 

[Nebusj]

Picard: ``Of course, as this is a frontier posting, you'll find your teapots won't be nearly so impractically tall.''

Sisko: ``What do you mean, the Dominion changed their `relationship status' with the Federation on SpaceBook?''

Sisko: ``On the other hand, maybe there is a gas leak.''

Sisko: ``I'm sorry. Your `antique' excessively large teapot is actually a mass-produced replica from about twenty years ago, and you can get one for maybe fifteen to twenty credits.''

Sisko: ``Blast these Rubik's Hypercubes!''

Sisko: ``Don't look right away ... do it naturally ... I think, at the bar, watching us, is O'Brien's stunt double.''

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Relax. What are the chances anything important will happen in this godforsaken backwater?

 

[Catarina]

Dad, you have to turn your tablet around to take a Selfie.

 

[Catarina]

Dad, are you joining the dark side?

Jake, you might not want to utter the name of a certain competitive franchise.

What are you talking about? What I mean is whenever a dude grows a goatee and shaves his head in all those cartoons I watched as a kid he became evil.

 

[Catarina]

Sisko: you urinated in the teapot didn't you?
Picard: no but I am getting ready to if the admiral keeps me waiting any longer.

Sisko: don't look at me I didn't do it.

Sisko: Jake, this is not an appropriate size tank for a Beta Fish!

Sisko: Look at you trying to be cool. I dig it.