Dress and Good Grooming: Are We Becoming Slobs?

[Jan]

Flowbee scares me.

My hair has been Flowbee-cut for ages. At first my (now ex-) husband did it and since we split I do it myself. Takes about 10 minutes and no mess to clean up except a few trimmings to even something up.

It only works if you have fairly short hair and a simple cut. I think there's another gizmo that's supposed to work with longer hair.

Jan

 

[Holdfast]

Oh... ok, I see.

You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don't know, that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don't know is that that sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise, it's not lapis, it's actually cerulean.

You're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar De La Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves St Laurent, wasn't it, who showed cerulean military jackets?

And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of 8 different designers. Then it filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic casual corner where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin.

However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and so it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you're wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room.

From a pile. Of stuff.

The point Miranda makes is essentially accurate - appearances send out a million messages about us, to be interpreted and reinterpreted by those around us. Even the conscious choice not to make an effort sends out a message. Point being, choose a message or the world will choose one for you and that choice might be detrimental to you. If you can influence the world in your favour by something as amusing and fun as playing with your personal identity, why not enjoy it?

I do strongly believe that everyone has a personal style that reflects their personality and if they can discover what it is, and implement it in an integrated way, they will be happier people.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Hair is obviously not a problem for me. I've been a total baldie for 5 years now and I don't see that ever changing again. I hated the way I looked with hair. Not because of grooming ease or anything like that - believe it or not, it is actually not that easy to shave one's head, especially when it's done every day - I just didn't like the way I looked. I feel much better now.

As for dress style: I have absolutely no desire for it. I don't dress up unless I'm with family and I have to. Otherwise I will quite happily wear the same thing every day: sweatshirts (in cold weather), T-shirts (hot weather), with black Dockers pants. That is the way I dress all the time. Even in church. I have no fashion sense that is detectable by modern medical science. Wouldn't have it any other way, either.

Oh, I also wear white socks with black shoes.

I don't view myself as a slob, though. I may wear excessively 'common' clothes, but they (and I) are always clean. I keep my beard trimmed, head shined, clothes and body clean, and shoes tied. The slobbiest I get is when my shirts have obscene slogans on them, like THESE.

 

[CorporalClegg]

Asymmetrical haircut not style.

I've never seen a haircut like that before. WTF is that? A mullet rotated 90 degrees?

Flock of Seagulls?

 

[iguana_tonante]

^ Or maybe a Flowbee disaster?

What the fuck is that?

 

[Nick086]

asymmetrical haircuts

...really?

What about a guy with his hair parted on the side (a pretty standard male haircut)?

Asymmetrical haircut not style.

Not bad looking, I would date him if he gay.

 

[pookha]

at times i am like a female columbo but with out the cigar.
i can iron my clothes and comb my hair and in about 30 minutes look slightly rumpled.
though every once in awhile i can clean up really well for awhile.

mostly i try to be clean.
and i like to dress comfortable.. ugh to hose and a dress.
sometimes it is just an effort to get out of the house in the morning when i feel tired.

 

[maneth]

I work in a government office with no contact with the public. Slacks or neat, unripped jeans with a blouse or reasonably loose top and neat, comfortable shoes that go with the rest of the outfit is what most of us wear. Guys don't usually wear ties, I don't normally wear makeup beyond slightly tinted moisturizer and lipgloss.

 

[TorontoTrekker]

High school teacher here who has to try to get the students to follow a basic dress menu and it has been an uphill battle. They get a choice of limited colors on polo shirts, or shirts with collars, and "slacks" or shorts or skirts. The pants aren't supposed to bag and the shirts are to be tucked in.

Since when do polo shirts open to the navel? How old do you have to be to be able to remember to, or know how to, tuck your shirt in? What kind of shirts do you need that will stay tucked in?

It hasn't been in style to tuck in your shirt since at least 2004, though. (I think I was the last person around here to stop doing it.) It's no longer a sign that someone is a slob.

It has been my experience, in the IT/software development world, that people who dress up in the workplace couldn't code their way out of a paper bag. They wear the expensive suits to impress clueless managers and HR droids, and when they get the job and get thrown into the pit, they are woefully outclassed by the other guys who wear t-shirts and have a regular diet of Mountain Dew and Pixie Stix. They proceed to fuck up anything and everything they get their hands on without hesitation, try to pin the blame on everyone but themselves, and while the project their working on goes in the toilet, the so-called "slobs" are busting their asses trying to do continuous damage control instead of going forward. In the meantime, the fore-mentioned clueless managers and HR droids who hired the idiot are scratching their heads, not understanding why they're hearing all this complaining from the coworkers (and worse, clients) about why this one person has been sent to them, all the while thinking "how professional they always looked". Seen it more times than I can remember.

This.

If I were an IT manager and I had a guy come in wearing a 3-piece suit, looking like a villain from Miami Vice, and a disheveled guy who looked a little worse for wear and knowing what the USS Reliant prefix code was from Star Trek II, I would always choose the latter, knowing he would get the job done, hands down.

I will wear a suit for an interview, of course. I don't know anyone who wouldn't. I even wore a suit to interview with my current employer despite the fact that the person interviewing me has been a close personal friend for about seven years, and knowing that all I needed to do to get the job is not blow the building up on my way out.

Since then, when the weather was warm I would wear polo shirts and dress pants; when it got cold I switched to long-sleeved dress shirts and jeans (only because I have no dress pants that keep me sufficiently warm, and I may have been the only person in the department who wasn't wearing jeans anyway).

Now, when I go to my bowling league, I'll wear a t-shirt and sweatpants. I've taken a fair bit of grief over the years for the sweatpants, but bitter experience has proven to me that if I wear jeans to bowl, I will be going home with no jeans. It doesn't matter how loose they are, at some point the seams in the crotch will give way. I don't know how other people manage to bowl in jeans every week without having the same problem - it's not as though I have that deep a stretch on my release.

 

[kimc]

I love this quote from the article:

Cowboys might get muddy on the job, but they were clean and pressed for the Saturday night dance.

Since I work in IT I can get away with jeans every day. Heck, on the days when I have pilates after work I'll wear loose-fitting yoga pants. As stated above, this is definitely an industry where those who dress up every day are going to arouse suspicion. For example, one day last summer I was biking to work so threw a wrap dress in my bag since I was low on laundry, the dress was wrinkle-free and it was comfortable on a hot day. My co-workers weren't quite sure how to deal with me that day.

Anyway, outside of work I like to dress up. I'll also move up to "business casual" on the days when I have a meeting with the users of the app I'm working on, etc. I guess I could be classified as sporty/classic.

 

[Tyberius]

Now, when I go to my bowling league, I'll wear a t-shirt and sweatpants. I've taken a fair bit of grief over the years for the sweatpants, but bitter experience has proven to me that if I wear jeans to bowl, I will be going home with no jeans. It doesn't matter how loose they are, at some point the seams in the crotch will give way. I don't know how other people manage to bowl in jeans every week without having the same problem - it's not as though I have that deep a stretch on my release.

 

[Franklin]

Costuming and grooming styles are superficial and have no real value; wearing a tie or a dress doesn't make somebody more qualified for a job-- unless you're applying for a job as a model.

True, but it certainly helps others take you seriously as an applicant if they're not distracted by your sloppy attire.

The opposite can be true as well... in a workplace where everyone dresses casually, showing up in a business suit is rather distracting.

At the first university where I taught, all the male professors in the department wore jackets and ties. So even though I didn't have to, I did anyway. When I got to where I am now, I continued to wear a suit, but began noticing I was about the only one regularly wearing one, so I stopped. Now it's pretty much rugby shirts or polo shirts, and jeans or khakis. I even wore shorts when I taught one summer. Though I was a bit self-conscious about that.

What pisses me off, though, is so many people don't dress for occasions any more. What ever happened to "dressing for the theater" and things like that? Is there no such thing as "appropriate attire" any more?
When my dad died five years ago, some of my cousins showed up to the funeral in jeans. A friend of mine wore shorts and flip flops. I mean, come on.

 

[Amaris]

The point Miranda makes is essentially accurate - appearances send out a million messages about us, to be interpreted and reinterpreted by those around us. Even the conscious choice not to make an effort sends out a message. Point being, choose a message or the world will choose one for you and that choice might be detrimental to you. If you can influence the world in your favour by something as amusing and fun as playing with your personal identity, why not enjoy it?

I do strongly believe that everyone has a personal style that reflects their personality and if they can discover what it is, and implement it in an integrated way, they will be happier people.

I agree with that. My issue is with hair. I brush my hair back and then let it fall to the side. I don't really know how to do anything else. When I get my haircut, I ask them to help me figure out the best way to have it cut, so that it flatters my face instead of accentuating problem areas. Not once have I received a definite recommendation. I guess I can't afford that kind of salon stylist.

...

What pisses me off, though, is so many people don't dress for occasions any more. What ever happened to "dressing for the theater" and things like that? Is there no such thing as "appropriate attire" any more?
When my dad died five years ago, some of my cousins showed up to the funeral in jeans. A friend of mine wore shorts and flip flops. I mean, come on.

When you say "theater", do you mean movie theater or "The Theater!" theater?

 

[bluedana]

There's a difference between not dressing up and being sloppy. I understand that my teenaged son does not want to wear a button down shirt (even if it is his uniform). I've even relaxed my standards of what he wears to church (having been raised with the notion of church clothes/school clothes/play clothes - this was hard) so that from time to time he wears a polo shirt and nice jeans. He's not "dressed up", but he's not sloppy, either. Whatever he's wearing has to reflect that he cares about how he looks and has taken some effort about it. No rips, no stains, no baggy pants hanging off his butt. I am not above rolling down the window of my car and yelling at him to pull his pants up while he's with his friends, or marching into his school with the black belt he conveniently forgot at home.

What pisses me off, though, is so many people don't dress for occasions any more. What ever happened to "dressing for the theater" and things like that? Is there no such thing as "appropriate attire" any more?
When my dad died five years ago, some of my cousins showed up to the funeral in jeans. A friend of mine wore shorts and flip flops. I mean, come on.

This. There are some occasions when the extra care you take in choosing your clothes demonstrates respect. You don't have to go out and buy an expensive black number, but wearing appropriate attire simply says, this person's funeral is on a higher level than the office picnic.

 

[RoJoHen]

What pisses me off, though, is so many people don't dress for occasions any more. What ever happened to "dressing for the theater" and things like that? Is there no such thing as "appropriate attire" any more?

I think "appropriate attire" has simply gotten more lax. I'm honestly not sure why the theater should require me dress up...although maybe I just don't go to fancy enough theaters.

When my dad died five years ago, some of my cousins showed up to the funeral in jeans. A friend of mine wore shorts and flip flops. I mean, come on.

I went to wedding like this once. Of course, the whole family was a huge group of hippies, so I guess they didn't really care.

 

[Franklin]

What pisses me off, though, is so many people don't dress for occasions any more. What ever happened to "dressing for the theater" and things like that? Is there no such thing as "appropriate attire" any more?

I think "appropriate attire" has simply gotten more lax. I'm honestly not sure why the theater should require me dress up...although maybe I just don't go to fancy enough theaters.

When my dad died five years ago, some of my cousins showed up to the funeral in jeans. A friend of mine wore shorts and flip flops. I mean, come on.

I went to wedding like this once. Of course, the whole family was a huge group of hippies, so I guess they didn't really care.

True, "appropriate attire" has changed. Just look how people dressed for sporting events decades ago compared to now. And, I've had students come to class more than once in what are obviously pajammas.

When we went to see a show in New York last fall, my wife and daughters wore dresses and I wore a blazer and tie. When we were walking out, a woman behind us in casual clothes remarked, "You can always tell who the tourists are." Actually, I had to laugh.

My dad's funeral was in a Missouri Synod Lutheran church, which is about as uptight and formal as you can get. Or at least it used to be, I guess. When I was a kid in the 1970s, people used to frown at any man or boy who didn't wear a suit and tie to services, and God forbid a woman or girl wore pants.

 

[Timewalker]

The current one I hate...big nerdy glasses as chic. Such "trendy" people should be forced to actually need such glasses.

You should realize that some people actually prefer this type of glasses because we can actually SEE with them. I tried a pair of those tiny little glasses with the tiny little frames, and spent two weeks feeling dizzy and nearly killing myself falling down stairs and getting run over in parking lots because I had no peripheral vision! So I marched back to the optometrist and told them I tried the tiny little frames they pushed on me and didn't like them, and I wanted the large ones I was used to.

I wish that we could all wear pajamas, all the time. I hate dressing up. I'm all about comfort, and so far sweats are the most comfortable clothing that I have found. I don't care about fashion at all, I see clothes as a way to keep from being naked and to keep warm. Sure I will dress up and play nice for society's sake if I'm going somewhere fancy or to a job interview, but my inner self is perpetually in pajamas. As soon as I get home from class/work I change out of my jeans and into the pjs. I don't actually wear them out in public because it's not quite acceptable unless you're on a college campus (man I miss living in the dorms), but I wish I could. I think that what you wear can say something about you, and what I would like to wear says that I am a practical person who has no time for useless expensive things.

Absolutely! I hate dressing up. Actually, I hate shopping, period. I wear oversize t-shirts and stretch pants, and if I'm leaving my home I even put on shoes and socks.

I spent too many years being picked on because I wasn't "trendy enough" - my classmates told me, "We would like you if you wore ______." Well, screw them. If my personality isn't enough to like, they wouldn't like me any better if I came packaged the way they prefered.

And my mother - an extremely judgmental woman - once told me she was ashamed to be seen with me in public because I didn't iron my blue jeans! Well, I may not have ironed my blue jeans, but I became ashamed to be seen in public with her because of all the judgmental things and racist comments that tended to come out of her mouth if somebody displeased her.

So now I dress to please myself, and as long as everything is covered that needs to be and it's not obscene or illegal, it's my own business.

 

[Purdy Bear]

The thing that most shocks me, is when people attend a special event and wear leisure clothes. I went to the Strand Hotel Theatre, some time ago, our group was all suited and booted, to find some tourists turning up in jeans, with navel rings showing. Totally Tacky!

When I did work (in an Office) I asked about a dress code and was told there wasnt one, but you see there is a very unspoken one. Anyone wanting a promotion better know what it is. In my recent research Uk), predominately it would be black with white shirts, you might just get away with navy blue or even purple.

In a Apprentice two years ago, one women wore colour while others wore predominately black and white. The women got down to the last four, but was deemed to eccentric for the job.


Each colour has its own work meaning, which doesnt corrolate to other colour meanings (Black - powerful, Blue - Trustworthy etc).

Another thing to take into consideration, is that people do judge you by your looks in the first 30 seconds of seeing you. Its just something that naturally happens.

If I saw a youth walking down the road with an oversized track-suit on and a hoody covering scraggy hair, I would be warey, however, if I saw the same youth walking down the road in a neatly pressed suit and a neat hairstyle I wouldnt.

I strongly feel, to get into the zone, you have to dress the part, what ever that maybe for you.


PS: In the Uk recently Tesco's (like Walmart) has banned mothers from wearing their PJs to do the shopping. Can you imagine it walking into a shop being greeted by that vison !

 

[teya]

Oh... ok, I see.

You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don't know, that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don't know is that that sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise, it's not lapis, it's actually cerulean.

You're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar De La Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves St Laurent, wasn't it, who showed cerulean military jackets?

And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of 8 different designers. Then it filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic casual corner where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin.

However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and so it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you're wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room.

From a pile. Of stuff.

The point Miranda makes is essentially accurate - appearances send out a million messages about us, to be interpreted and reinterpreted by those around us. Even the conscious choice not to make an effort sends out a message. Point being, choose a message or the world will choose one for you and that choice might be detrimental to you. If you can influence the world in your favour by something as amusing and fun as playing with your personal identity, why not enjoy it?

I do strongly believe that everyone has a personal style that reflects their personality and if they can discover what it is, and implement it in an integrated way, they will be happier people.

*applause*


Everyone makes a statement by the clothes they put on their backs--even if that statement is "I don't give a shit what you think when you see me."


It's funny, though... Since I've started designing, I find myself much more minimalist--the better to show off my hand knits. Although I've always been a less-is-more sort of person.