The cliche isn't the bad part to me, it's the laziness of writers putting the loved ones in trouble time and time again as an easy story.
I agree with that--to an extent. In a more realistic scenario, the hero's loved ones would not be in danger until someone learned the hero's identity. Also, the family and friends would not be a part of the hero's super life. There's the rub. How do you have a cast of interesting supporting characters who are not part of the hero's superhero life as well?