David A. Goodman responds

Well, I haven't been able to read all the threads regarding "Precious Cargo", but I scanned many of them, and can see that though some of you liked the episode, it seems to me there were a lot of you who really hated it. (Somebody on one of the threads said that he assumed from the episode that the writer was 12. OUCH! ) I thought it was a fun episode, not perfect by any means, but if you hated it, I apologize. I can't really answer questions about "What part did you write," because somebody suggested I was trying to distance myself from the episode in one of my previous postings, and that couldn't be further from the truth. As I said before, the story was Rick and Brannon's, but I liked it a lot, and was thrilled that they gave me the chance to write the teleplay. I enjoyed writing it, and it was exciting watching the process of production leading to what I think is an entertaining hour. The performances of Enterprise's main characters were terrific, and, as I posted before, this episode is really Connor's, and I thought he did a great job.

But I also don't want to discourage anyone from being nasty, because some of of the threads I read trashing the episode were really funny. Not all of them, but some of them. There's nothing I like better than a good insult.

 

Well, I really liked it, in large part because I thought it had a big TOS vibe. As mentioned in other threads, I saw similarities (nods?) to TNG's The Perfect Mate, but I thought the feel of the episode was more TOS, which is what made it so fun for me.

Thanks for posting a response to some of the points brought up in the other threads.

 

David, in the startrek.com listings and the early synopses, Kaitaama was from Tiburria... yet in the aired version, she's now from Krios, and bearing the same markings as Kamala in TNG's The Perfect Mate.

When did the change happen? (It was a good one, actually) Who's the one we can congratulate for tying up Precious Cargo with Perfect Mate via the use of Krios?

 

Thanks for showing up, brave soul.

I confess "Precious Cargo" was a guilty pleasure for me--but that's because Connor Trinneer carried the whole episode. It would have been a *lot* better with an actress that could keep up with him. Who's responsible for Lakshmi?

Bucky

 

The references to existing Trek were well done (the Kriosians, the Ardanans), but c'mon--cars? In the 22nd Century? Maybe, but I doubt they would still be four-wheeled. Yes, ST:Nemesis will be portraying four-wheeled vehicles, but I think this is a mistake (This is my opinion, undoubtedly disagreed with by other fans, but mine nonetheless).

Let me state firmly that your attitude, to actually come here and accept positive and negative feedback, is outstanding, and we respect and thank you for doing so.

And lastly, a request, (of course): Show us the Orions, the Tellarites, and the Tiburons!

[This message has been edited by Starseeker (edited December 12, 2002).]

 

You're a better man than most, Gunga Din.

Welcome back.

Don't forget about the talking cars!



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Lucky. Very lucky.

 

As a fellow writer (not that I make a living off it or anything...), I'm more interested to learn about your process then about the specifics of "Precious Cargo". Do you write at a specific time every day? Do you re-write as you go, or wait until a draft is done? How much of the story has already been broken when you do your first draft (and how set-in-stone is that initial story)?

Oh yeah, how do you break into TV writing? :-)

Sorry for all the nerdy questions. I'm just trying to get where you are, and figured "hey, you're already there". Thanks.

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"The story is a sad one, told many times/the story of my life in trying times"--REM

 

I've only managed to watch the first half of it so far, but I like a majority of what I'm seeing. Imperfect, yes, but light and pretty fun to kick back with a cup of coffee with (which, not coincidentally, is how I watched the first 20-some minutes). Unless something monstrously horrible happens in Act Four, "Precious Cargo" will be a quirky, enjoyable entry in season two.

Unless I'm wrong, and you managed to sneak in a mysterious appearance by Mongolian organ thieves coming to snatch Trip away for the purposes of cultivating Klingon/Brazilian hybrids... then I'd be worried. But since I don't see that happening, it's good work.

 

Thanks for sticking around David!

I can't insult you though, I liked Precious Cargo. Not great trek, but compared to the trash of "it was all a dream" much, much better.

This one and Fallen Heroe are my favorites.

Escape/Evade/Survive...worked for me. Bad guy's comeback at the end where Trip is jabbing him in the face was a surprise to me!

I look forward to your next one.

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To err is human, but to really screw things up you need a computer.

 

"Well, I haven't been able to read all the threads regarding "Precious Cargo", but I scanned many of them, and can see that though some of you liked the episode, it seems to me there were a lot of you who really hated it. (Somebody on one of the threads said that he assumed from the episode that the writer was 12. OUCH! ) I thought it was a fun episode, not perfect by any means, but if you hated it, I apologize. I can't really answer questions about "What part did you write," because somebody suggested I was trying to distance myself from the episode in one of my previous postings, and that couldn't be further from the truth. As I said before, the story was Rick and Brannon's, but I liked it a lot, and was thrilled that they gave me the chance to write the teleplay. I enjoyed writing it, and it was exciting watching the process of production leading to what I think is an entertaining hour. The performances of Enterprise's main characters were terrific, and, as I posted before, this episode is really Connor's, and I thought he did a great job."

I appreciate your response, and evenmoreso how you take things in strides, even the insults.

I certainly didn't think it was as bad an episode as people made it out to be, but it in no way was very good by any stretch of the imagination.

Keep on posting.
-Jamman

 

Welcome back sir! As I said in both the ratings/grade threads, for me it was entertaining. Not the worst, but not the best either. I'm guessing as you get more comfortable with the job, the series and the characters that things will naturally improve. Simply from a familiarity with what you have to work with. Having said all that, I'd be the first to admit that while I might be able to come up with settings or ideas, there is NO way I could do what you do. Writers have a skill I've always aspired to, but never quite attained.

I'm looking forward to your next effort and I'm very glad you have the....err...let's just say I'm glad you're at least trying to have some interaction with the fans.

Thanks for the feedback from your end.

 

Remarkable, an associative producer of Enterprise actually responding to fans. Well if they told me this six-months ago I'd say you were on weed, and I'd want some too

I liked the episode, certainly better than some crap aired that week. Connor did take the ep.

Nice work, now let's work on some ARCS!

 

I'm going to try to find a way to ask this without appearing insulting, and quite possibly not succeed.

I don't think there's any denying that much of "Precious Cargo" trades in familiar tropes (a nicer term than "cliche"). The bickering dynamic between the guest actress and Trip is recognizable from any number of movies and TV shows, and the scene where one minute, they're in each other's faces, and the next minute, they're kissing, is the ultimate example of this.

Now maybe this approach is meant to elicit a fond chuckle, a comfortable sense of familiarity with a tried-and-true storytelling structure.

My question is, in terms of the atmosphere in the offices of Enterprise's writing staff, is there ever instead an impulse to buck expectations? To turn a relationship like this on its ear, to play against the familiar, or even to set up the audience's expectations with what looks like the familiar and then broadside us with the unexpected?

In candor, too often Enterprise's self-image seems to be of a comfortable pair of old slippers, when what some of us would like is a gleaming set of f*ck-me pumps.

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Samuel T. Cogley: Hoshi is a snotty, selfish little bitch of a princess.
The Realist: Stop, you're turning me on.

 

I too would like to add to the chorus of thanks, gratitude, and respect to MR. Goodman for giving us the great priviledge of having this direct communication with the show's production staff.

I'm afraid that my review of PC was less than gushing, but I do stand by it. The best you could say is that I damned it with faint praise I suppose. While it was fine by the standards of other TV serials like Buck Rogers or Battlestar Galactica, we fans are looking for more from Star Trek.

We've had more than enough fun,fluffy, airey, light, campy, tit-ilating episodes for quite awhile. Please let's get back to doing shakespearean level storytelling.

 

Hello - I love Enterprise, and have seen every episode so far (I think it could be a better show, but I still watch) - this was by far my least favorite episode so far. I thought it was very lame.

R5

 

Good for you for coming to this lions den. Says a lot about you as a writer.

My problem with this episode is that it was a plot that had been used before and it didn't seem that there were any attempts made to make it different.

Since the princess type is the comman element that was the character to work on to make the episode different. Make her unattractive, but interested in Trip. Make it a male character who is gay and interested, just do something different.

The interogation scene came off as a scene that was written to be funny but not in relation to the characters. It would have been funnier, IMO, if they had tried it at Archer's urging and it didn't work. There could have been some nice "told you so" dialouge between Archer and T'Pol.

However, Trip was handled just right.

Thanks for taking the time to listen.

 

I just wanted to say I liked it pretty well until they got to the planet and the whole bickering started to feel tired and repetive. Also I thought they way they kissed felt so forced because we never seen them even show even a glimpse of affection for each other. Usually in these type of plots you usually get small glimpses that the characters fighting care about each other despite the bickering. If I wrote this ep I would establish that Trip and the princess find each other kind of hot for each other early in the script after she wakes up but that gives way to the bickering to cover up their natural attraction.
Anyways I think your dialogue was good Mr Goodman and I think with a better story it will show through even better. Just stay away from PC liberal speeches Berman and Braga love and you will do just fine.

Jason

 

I literally fell asleep when T'Pau put on those robes to execute her prisoner. Got it on VCR and will let you know how I liked it - if I get time I'll do that tonight. More likely going to be tomorrow when everyone else is watching "Nemesis."

I did like the "Elaan Of Troyius" mood swings (bimboesque bitch in a sexy way) your guest character had. So far, so good. Your crappy music man is probably responsible for putting me to sleep.

2nd season episodes by far much better than 1st season episodes. Of course, this is because you, John Shiban and Brannon Braga have been doing a great job while Berman has been away trying to save what little value he can in that abortion of a Nemesis script. Yes, Berman needs to go. And, if you'd be so kind as to tell him I said that, I'd really appreciate it.

Nice talking to you.

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BTW, working on http://www.liberty72.com - and when I get rich enough to afford Drex, Mike & Denise, and of course Rick Sternbach, there's going to be a bidding war over that great talent!



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Exclusive For TREK BBS readers! http://www.liberty72.com/oldscripts.htm - Only Available Through Year's End!

[This message has been edited by John Sullivan (edited December 12, 2002).]

 

The writing process is unique to each writer, although similar tendancies will no doubt overlap. There is no right way to do it, only what's right for you, although I'm sure paint-by-the-numbers copy-what's-already-successfull Syd Field would disagree on even that.

I've found that I have a bad habit of editing as I go, which is basically a way to avoiding actually finishing it. While the scene may improve (or get worse), the whole story isn't being told. It might be best for some writers to just write from start to finish and then go back to repair what turned out wrong, even if that turns out to be 2/3 of the script.

I think the bottom line when it comes to writing is something Quentin Tarantino said. Are you writing because you want to write a tele/screenplay, or because you have a story you need to tell?

 

Mr. Goodman, thanks for sticking with this forum despite its occasionally hostile atmosphere. I wouldn't expect too many other well-known writers/producers to do the same.

I thought Precious Cargo was a decent episode overall (a 6.5 or 7 on the standard 1-10 scale), and I wouldn't mind watching it again in reruns. Some of the episode did feel like mid-season filler, the sort of thing we usually see before something bigger, but I really liked certain scenes. The hearing (of sorts) was hilarious, and Trip's display of boxing technique was unexpected and very enjoyable, I would love to see that used again. We've seen the guy in the Enterprise gym before, maybe someone should add a punching bag to the set. He could even teach Archer how to fight.