"Data's Day" Line-by-Line

[Zeratul]

DATA: Why?

 

[Vanyel]

Crusher: Well Data, because...I don’t really know why, Data. Look, why don’t I just teach you a style of dancing that they will do at the wedding. Computer, run…”Isn’t It Romantic?” Now, compared to what we’ve just done this will be simple. Just look up and follow me. 1..2..ready and…(They begin dancing but Data is having trouble.) No, Data. Wait a minute. (He steps on her feet.) Ow! No, no. You’re just moving…move slowly. (He steps on her feet again.) Ow! OW! Stop music.

 

[Zeratul]

DATA: Sorry, Doctor.

 

[Vanyel]

Crusher: I don’t understand, Data. You picked up the tap dancing so quickly.

 

[Zeratul]

DATA: I cannot reproduce your performance if I cannot see your feet.

 

[Vanyel]

Crusher: Ahhh. Alright. Let’s try it again and this time, watch my feet. Computer, start music. (“Isn’t It Romantic?” starts up again.) And (She and Data begin dancing.) Now, don’t just imitate me. You’ve got to lead.

 

[Zeratul]

DATA: Lead where, Doctor?

 

[Vanyel]

Crusher: Well, indicate to your partner where you want her to step.

 

[Zeratul]

DATA: And how is that accomplished?

 

[Vanyel]

Crusher: I’ll show you (They switch positions so she’ll lead) I'll lead. Now, notice I don't repeat the same pattern over and over. I improvise. Now you lead. (They switch positions again.) That’s good. Now look up, Data. (He lifts his headso he’s looking up at the ceiling.)..Look into my eyes. (He does) You're holding me too tight.

 

[Zeratul]

DATA: This is a very complex set of variables to coordinate, Doctor.

 

[Vanyel]

Crusher: You're doing fine. Now smile, act like you're enjoying yourself.
(Data puts on a creepy smiley face)

 

[Zeratul]

NURSE [OC]: Doctor Crusher, please report to Sickbay.

 

[Vanyel]

Crusher: Is it Lieutenant Juarez?

 

[Zeratul]

NURSE [OC]: Yes, Doctor. Her contractions are now one minute apart.

 

[Vanyel]

Crusher: I'm on my way. Why don't you program up an artificial dance partner? And don't be afraid to experiment.

 

[Zeratul]

DATA: I will. Thank you, Doctor.
[Crusher leaves]
Computer, create dance partner. Female. Begin music.

 

[Vanyel]

(Data enters the Bridge. Riker is telling a joke to a woman at tactical.) Riker: Then just as the headsman swings his axe and just as the blade is about to fall…

 

[Zeratul]

DATA [OC]: Commander Riker's easy going manner and sense of humour is fascinating to me. I believe it to be one reason he is so popular among the crew. It may also be partly responsible for his success in matters of love. There may be a correlation between humour and sex. The need for more research is clearly indicated.

Commander

 

[Vanyel]

(Riker comes over and looks at Data’s console)

Riker: Picard to the Bridge. All stop.