CONFESSIONAL thread (ANONYMOUS so tell us the juicy stuff!)

[Deckerd]

I don't think it's as simple as that. When people are vulnerable they are also suggestible - no matter how strong willed they usually are - of course this is very general and simplified but even so this is why false memories can take hold. All it takes is an unscrupulous person to do the manipulating.

 

[Holdfast]

MOAR!


A heartfelt missive:

Over four years ago my best friend died. We were less than two months away from graduating high school and there were so many plans for the summer (which was great because he was a two months shy of his 19th birthday when he would be able to buy us booze).

There was this dance coming up in the city, big news for us country bumpkins, and we'd talked about going to hang out with some of our friends. I was going to drive (he couldn't) but I was scheduled to work and didn't even bother to see if I could get the time off. I just went to work, the backshift at some dinky gas station.

The car he was driving in hydroplaned, jumped the median slammed into another car, and he died. So did the other passenger in the car, a girl who'd recenty turned me down for prom. The driver was in a coma, but eventually "recovered" (how do you come back from that?).

I blamed myself, I still do, I think. I should have been driving, like we'd talked about. I had more driving experience than the driver he went with, I had more bad weather driving experience than the driver. I didn't even try to get the night off work.

The first thing his mother said to me when I saw her was "Thank God you weren't with them." and it took all of my willpower not to say "If I'd been with them they'd be alive."

It really haunted me for the first year, the next few got easier. I know intelectually that I could just have well as died, but that didn't take care of the guilt.

These days I have a hard time letting myself get close to people. I try to keep a distance because I fear the loss of someone else.

Last year I had a friend drop dead for no damn reason, his heart just stopped. That hasn't helped.

Every couple of months I just feel like a dark cloud descends upon my mood and I dwell on death and loss. I haven't really talked to anyone about this, my friends have no idea how I feel most of the time. I've thought about seeing help, but I'm afraid I'll end up on some damn medication or something, and I don't want that, I liked my booze and pot (and the rare day of shrooms and acid) too much to add something new to the mix.

I just feel really alone sometimes, and it's my own doing, but I don't know how to share this part of me with the people I know.

A happy ending:

Update: I'm one of the people who confessed earlier to being without a college degree. I have since been admitted to an undergraduate program and working towards getting my degree!

The mirror crack'd:

I hate writing this but I need to get it off my chest.

It's about us : trek fans.

I'll stay anonymous, but trust me I am speaking from plenty of experience when I say :

As a group, they are the rudest, most anti-social people you'd ever met. No manners or social skills, snarky, rude, insconsiderate, self absorbed people who are in many cases so far off in their own world they cannot last five minutes in a social situation without making me mortified to be seen near them. I know we like to keep a happy spin on things on the board, but most are unemployed and living off welfare because they are just so damn rude nobody would want to be near them because of their basic lack of manners. I feel for people who have to pop 95 pills before they can enter into a conversation, but there is no excuse for the complete lack of consideration and rudeness that is the hallmark of most fans.

There are exceptions, but they are just that : exceptions.

I find it really frustrating because the rewards of finding a like minded Trek fan who is a regular human being are great, but you have to look very far to find them.

Sorry, but its true

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

^I vehemently disagree with that last one.

 

[trampledamage]

^I vehemently disagree with that last one.

As do I.

Nothing like generalisations like "most are unemployed and living off welfare because they are just so damn rude nobody would want to be near them" to really make your case.

I find the people on this board to be, by and large, articulate, sociable and friendly.

I guess I must read different threads to this person.

EDIT: I realise this person is talking about Trek fans in general. But you guys are the Trek fans I know.

 

[Finn]

^The first once- Just get some professional help. You are not the only person this kind of thing has happened to.

 

[Kirk's_Tights]

I hate writing this but I need to get it off my chest.

It's about us : trek fans.

I'll stay anonymous, but trust me I am speaking from plenty of experience when I say :

As a group, they are the rudest, most anti-social people you'd ever met. No manners or social skills, snarky, rude, insconsiderate, self absorbed people who are in many cases so far off in their own world they cannot last five minutes in a social situation without making me mortified to be seen near them. I know we like to keep a happy spin on things on the board, but most are unemployed and living off welfare because they are just so damn rude nobody would want to be near them because of their basic lack of manners. I feel for people who have to pop 95 pills before they can enter into a conversation, but there is no excuse for the complete lack of consideration and rudeness that is the hallmark of most fans.

There are exceptions, but they are just that : exceptions.

I find it really frustrating because the rewards of finding a like minded Trek fan who is a regular human being are great, but you have to look very far to find them.

Sorry, but its true

Haha, seriously.

This guy is probably one of the only rude Trekkers out there. I have honestly never met a rude Trek fan in my life.

Also, being rude has nothing to do with being a Trek fan, anyways. It has to do with the PERSON. Anyone can be rude so it's pretty stupid to suddenly associate rudeness with being a Trek fan.

For the unemployed part, I'm sorry but you can honestly kiss my ass. The economy has been raping people of jobs. I lost my job that I worked damn hard for. I can guarantee I was making far more money than the person who typed that confession. It wasn't my fault I lost my job and it's going to be tough to get back to where I was. I have to start all over again, unless I get lucky and find a place that is looking for that position.

I can't believe someone can actually go insulting people who are unemployed. Most people here who do not work have been laid off because of the economy. It's not cool to go insulting those people. I have bills to pay, I have rent to pay, I have 4 pets to look after, I need to buy food so I can eat, I need to buy toilet paper and paper towels and other necessities. It's not like anyone asks to be laid off so the can scramble to pay for things.


Honestly, that person is lucky they are anonymous because I would hate to know who typed that load of shit up. It was a disgrace and put everyone in a negative light that is nothing but BS. I have found pretty much every single person here to be very friendly and OMG THEY ARE TREK FANS.

This person needs to get their head out of their ass and get some friends.

 

[Koinek]

I hate writing this but I need to get it off my chest.

It's about us : trek fans.

I'll stay anonymous, but trust me I am speaking from plenty of experience when I say :

As a group, they are the rudest, most anti-social people you'd ever met. No manners or social skills, snarky, rude, insconsiderate, self absorbed people who are in many cases so far off in their own world they cannot last five minutes in a social situation without making me mortified to be seen near them. I know we like to keep a happy spin on things on the board, but most are unemployed and living off welfare because they are just so damn rude nobody would want to be near them because of their basic lack of manners. I feel for people who have to pop 95 pills before they can enter into a conversation, but there is no excuse for the complete lack of consideration and rudeness that is the hallmark of most fans.

There are exceptions, but they are just that : exceptions.

I find it really frustrating because the rewards of finding a like minded Trek fan who is a regular human being are great, but you have to look very far to find them.

Sorry, but its true

I think a better way to put it is, "The most visible trek fans....". This forum and its users amply proves that the stereotypes are just that.

 

[trampledamage]

^I vehemently disagree with that last one.

As do I.

Nothing like generalisations like "most are unemployed and living off welfare because they are just so damn rude nobody would want to be near them" to really make your case.

I find the people on this board to be, by and large, articulate, sociable and friendly.

I guess I must read different threads to this person.

EDIT: I realise this person is talking about Trek fans in general. But you guys are the Trek fans I know.

I think a better way to put it is, "The most visible trek fans....".

Visible to whom?

The most visible Trek fans I know of, are those that dress-up and go to conventions. And since that requires a) money and b) a lot of courage, I can't see that it fits the anonymous person's complaint.

If you mean "stereotypical" then maybe, but that doesn't make it correct. And it's people like this poster who reinforce it for everyone else.


EDIT - I've just read your edit. I guess I'm reading different threads from you too, since I don't think this board fulfills any basement-dwelling, no money, no friends stereotype.

 

[An Officer]

That last confession is really quite pathetic. Hiding behind anonymity, just to give us all the birdie...

 

[Cakes488]

^^ Being a Trek fan and being rude do not go hand in hand and one has nothing to do with the other. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hello...I've met way more frikking people who are rude -- period. Are some of these rude peep Trek fans...I'm sure of it...but to make a general statement like this is hogwash -- yeah I said it HOGWASH!

 

[sidious618]

I hate writing this but I need to get it off my chest.

It's about us : trek fans.

I'll stay anonymous, but trust me I am speaking from plenty of experience when I say :

As a group, they are the rudest, most anti-social people you'd ever met. No manners or social skills, snarky, rude, insconsiderate, self absorbed people who are in many cases so far off in their own world they cannot last five minutes in a social situation without making me mortified to be seen near them. I know we like to keep a happy spin on things on the board, but most are unemployed and living off welfare because they are just so damn rude nobody would want to be near them because of their basic lack of manners. I feel for people who have to pop 95 pills before they can enter into a conversation, but there is no excuse for the complete lack of consideration and rudeness that is the hallmark of most fans.

There are exceptions, but they are just that : exceptions.

I find it really frustrating because the rewards of finding a like minded Trek fan who is a regular human being are great, but you have to look very far to find them.

Sorry, but its true

I can't agree with this. I've met three people from the board here, Wally, exodus and RobertMawell, all of whom were stand up guys. My aunt, who got me into sci-fi and Star Trek in particular, is one of the kindest people I know. That's four for four. Either I'm exceptionally lucky in the trek fans that I've met or you're wrong. I think it might be the latter.

 

[tharpdevenport]

I hate writing this but I need to get it off my chest.

It's about us : trek fans.

I'll stay anonymous, but trust me I am speaking from plenty of experience when I say :

As a group, they are the rudest, most anti-social people you'd ever met. No manners or social skills, snarky, rude, insconsiderate, self absorbed people who are in many cases so far off in their own world they cannot last five minutes in a social situation without making me mortified to be seen near them. I know we like to keep a happy spin on things on the board, but most are unemployed and living off welfare because they are just so damn rude nobody would want to be near them because of their basic lack of manners. I feel for people who have to pop 95 pills before they can enter into a conversation, but there is no excuse for the complete lack of consideration and rudeness that is the hallmark of most fans.

There are exceptions, but they are just that : exceptions.

I find it really frustrating because the rewards of finding a like minded Trek fan who is a regular human being are great, but you have to look very far to find them.

Sorry, but its true

Haha, seriously.

This guy is probably one of the only rude Trekkers out there. I have honestly never met a rude Trek fan in my life.

You've obviously not been to TNZ.

 

[Koinek]

EDIT - I've just read your edit. I guess I'm reading different threads from you too, since I don't think this board fulfills any basement-dwelling, no money, no friends stereotype.

Agh...my writing is terrible today. I meant to type "the stereotypes are just that". As in they are simply stereotypes. And by visible I meant things like highlighted by the media, books, movies, etc.

 

[Colonel Green]

Yeah I agree...I just don't like the cheating aspect of it..no matter who it's with. You need to come to terms with your bi-sexuality which I believe you are. There is just no way you'll be able to blow someone without a little bit of an attraction...this is more then just two mates helping each other out.

Yeah, I'd tend to agree.

The OP says that it started when they were teenagers who couldn't get laid. Fair enough. I don't think that is as uncommon as some might imagine, even among hetero males, I've read enough about boarding schools to know better

That said, the fact that it is an ongoing thing YEARS after they've married is a red flag. Well... maybe a Rainbow Flag would be more appropriate

I don't condemn his lifestyle, there is nothing wrong with being bisexual, which I tend to think he is given that he claims to be attracted to women. But if he isn't prepared to be honest with his wife he needs to knock this shit off. You made a promise man.

 

[trampledamage]

EDIT - I've just read your edit. I guess I'm reading different threads from you too, since I don't think this board fulfills any basement-dwelling, no money, no friends stereotype.

Agh...my writing is terrible today. I meant to type "the stereotypes are just that". As in they are simply stereotypes. And by visible I meant things like highlighted by the media, books, movies, etc.

Okay, we're agreeing My apologies for misunderstanding.

I like arguments that end like this

You'd think the amount of second generation Trekkies there are would put to rest the "unable to function at all in social situations" stereotype.

 

[RevDMV]

The last one, not a confession. Accusation, yes...

First one, sounds like you are self medicating. Anyway, find someone to talk to, it's not your fault. Survivors guilt and all that...

 

[RJDiogenes]

I hate writing this but I need to get it off my chest.

It's about us : trek fans.

I'll stay anonymous, but trust me I am speaking from plenty of experience when I say :

As a group, they are the rudest, most anti-social people you'd ever met. No manners or social skills, snarky, rude, insconsiderate, self absorbed people who are in many cases so far off in their own world they cannot last five minutes in a social situation without making me mortified to be seen near them. I know we like to keep a happy spin on things on the board, but most are unemployed and living off welfare because they are just so damn rude nobody would want to be near them because of their basic lack of manners. I feel for people who have to pop 95 pills before they can enter into a conversation, but there is no excuse for the complete lack of consideration and rudeness that is the hallmark of most fans.

There are exceptions, but they are just that : exceptions.

I find it really frustrating because the rewards of finding a like minded Trek fan who is a regular human being are great, but you have to look very far to find them.

Sorry, but its true

Ridiculous. I've never met a single Trekkie who is like this. Most are not only highly intelligent, well educated, creative and talented, but also kind and compassionate. And that's not even counting the scientists, engineers, doctors, writers, statesmen, et cetera out in the world who are Trekkies. The jerks and misanthropes are the exceptions.

 

[CorporalClegg]

I hate writing this but I need to get it off my chest.

It's about us : trek fans.

I'll stay anonymous, but trust me I am speaking from plenty of experience when I say :

As a group, they are the rudest, most anti-social people you'd ever met. No manners or social skills, snarky, rude, insconsiderate, self absorbed people who are in many cases so far off in their own world they cannot last five minutes in a social situation without making me mortified to be seen near them. I know we like to keep a happy spin on things on the board, but most are unemployed and living off welfare because they are just so damn rude nobody would want to be near them because of their basic lack of manners. I feel for people who have to pop 95 pills before they can enter into a conversation, but there is no excuse for the complete lack of consideration and rudeness that is the hallmark of most fans.

There are exceptions, but they are just that : exceptions.

I find it really frustrating because the rewards of finding a like minded Trek fan who is a regular human being are great, but you have to look very far to find them.

Sorry, but its true

Haha, seriously.

This guy is probably one of the only rude Trekkers out there. I have honestly never met a rude Trek fan in my life.

Also, being rude has nothing to do with being a Trek fan, anyways. It has to do with the PERSON. Anyone can be rude so it's pretty stupid to suddenly associate rudeness with being a Trek fan.

For the unemployed part, I'm sorry but you can honestly kiss my ass. The economy has been raping people of jobs. I lost my job that I worked damn hard for. I can guarantee I was making far more money than the person who typed that confession. It wasn't my fault I lost my job and it's going to be tough to get back to where I was. I have to start all over again, unless I get lucky and find a place that is looking for that position.

I can't believe someone can actually go insulting people who are unemployed. Most people here who do not work have been laid off because of the economy. It's not cool to go insulting those people. I have bills to pay, I have rent to pay, I have 4 pets to look after, I need to buy food so I can eat, I need to buy toilet paper and paper towels and other necessities. It's not like anyone asks to be laid off so the can scramble to pay for things.


Honestly, that person is lucky they are anonymous because I would hate to know who typed that load of shit up. It was a disgrace and put everyone in a negative light that is nothing but BS. I have found pretty much every single person here to be very friendly and OMG THEY ARE TREK FANS.

This person needs to get their head out of their ass and get some friends.

That's just awesome.

 

[ria 75]

(...)When you enter the US you go get to fill out a few forms, one that's utterly hilarious because if you answer yes to any of the utterly transpararent questions on it you need to contact the American Embassy before leaving the country. And you get that form when you're already on the plane over Iceland.
(...)
I arrive at customs at Newark in NY. I just wanted to get in, trough the airport quickly, and onward to my connecting flight to Atlanta. Everything goes fine until the guy sees the note. I literally see him freezing up. Part of me goes "Oh...shit!" while the rest holds out for hope.

Anyway he starts asking me more and more questions and I answer truthfully to all of them. Then he says to come with him, and he takes me over to another guy, gets to go with him to a holding area where I am to wait until can be taken care off. After sitting down I realise that there's about one blonde in this area, most of the people are of either arabic or mediteran descent. It's literally the most blatantly racist and prejudieced holding area ever.

Hey Emher, thanks for the story, I for one didn't know it.

I had a similar experience also 3 years ago. (They were tightening security in 2006 or what? ) I went to the same holding area and made the same observations, looking around the room. I was in Houston airport, needing to catch a connection to San Antonio where I was visiting a friend. I sat as innocently-looking as I could, reading a book, for the cameras.

The reason they detained me was I had spent 4 months in the US on a tourist's visa 10 years before. I was a visiting student (not on a student's visa but just sitting in on classes and using the library for a school term) and when I was informed I could get a 30 day extension to my 90-day tourist visa, a mere formality, I did it so I could stay until the end of the school term. I was having a blast experiencing American campus life - I spent more time having fun than researching for my MA, which is what I was there for. I ended up xeroxing a dozen books on the last week and basing my essay mostly on that. And I aced it.

Anyway, I went to the US several times between that stay in 1996 and 2006, including to New York in October 2001, but this was the first time they were bringing that up. (I had a brand new passport.) Calling it an overstay, asking me if I paid money for the extension or something. I told the hispanic dude at the desk about my fun time in college and my essay and mentioned the hispanic name of the friend I was visiting - precisely a friend from college 10 years before. He finally let me go saying from then on I should carry my old extension paperwork when I want to enter the country. I don't know if I have anything besides what appeared on my old passport which I don't have any more of course. They keep it when you get a new one.

I ran and panicked a bit at the long security checkpoint. People were actually missing their connections over that. Whoever they begged, they weren't moved to the front of the line. After the checkpoint I ran like mad through the entire airport and barely made my flight.

I thought, when you love America, the feeling is seldom returned. My friend said this probably happened because it was a small airport and the customs were puffing themselves up, not so busy that they'd let little things slide; that it wouldn't have happened in JFK. But if that sort of thing happened to you in Newark...

I haven't tried entering the USA again yet.

 

[Cakes488]

Yeah I agree...I just don't like the cheating aspect of it..no matter who it's with. You need to come to terms with your bi-sexuality which I believe you are. There is just no way you'll be able to blow someone without a little bit of an attraction...this is more then just two mates helping each other out.

Yeah, I'd tend to agree.

The OP says that it started when they were teenagers who couldn't get laid. Fair enough. I don't think that is as uncommon as some might imagine, even among hetero males, I've read enough about boarding schools to know better

That said, the fact that it is an ongoing thing YEARS after they've married is a red flag. Well... maybe a Rainbow Flag would be more appropriate

I don't condemn his lifestyle, there is nothing wrong with being bisexual, which I tend to think he is given that he claims to be attracted to women. But if he isn't prepared to be honest with his wife he needs to knock this shit off. You made a promise man.

There is that movie...I think it's still out now where 2 college buds hang out after some years apart...both straight, one married and they "hang out" and decide to make a porno. It's supposed to be a really good movie...course I can't remember the name of it now. But it sums up your point about this man on man action (covert) is not as uncommon as we think.