Have you ever thought that maybe they could have done with some friendly advice of the type that you rejected in such a childish manner? It sounds to me like you threw a big old tantrum the moment someone said something you didn't like.
To me, you sound like an arrogant, self centred and thoughtless person. You say you have a "highly technical degree as an Honor Society member with a 3.91 GPA", and that your friends are "nitwits" because they didn't follow the exact same path as you. You do realise that just because you have a degree, you are NOT a better person than them, don't you? Perhaps they don't perform well within an academic structure. That does not make them less valid as human beings than you. And it certainly doesn't make them stupid.
You say they're too fat and too lazy to bother with. Perhaps they suffer from low self esteem because you, their supposed friend, are constantly putting them down and acting like you're so much better than them. Perhaps what they really need is someone who will support them, offer help and advice, and reassure them that they are worth caring about. That's what friends are for. Sounds to me like they are better off without you, because as far as I can tell, you were only in the friendship to get what you could out of it.
If those people
msbae was talking about are
anything like those I mentioned, then you are dead wrong.
To those people, no friendly advice would be either welcomed or useful. People like that don't like to actively spend energy on anything, as such, any advice would be wasted. Not only that, but usually they have a false self-image; any truthful remarks get them upset and/or angry with you -- they don't want the truth, they want the comfy web of lies they've wrapped themselves in, for continuing that costs much less energy then actually acknowledging the truth and working hard to better it.
They don't want to hear they're fat -- they want to hear they're thin, even if they're not. They don't want to hear their boyfriend cheated on them -- they want to hear he's completely monogamous, even when he's not. They don't want to hear they're slacking their education / job / life, even when they are. They don't want to hear they could do so much better, since they don't want to spend the energy on it. Any advice you could give them makes them indifferent at best, angry at worse. Supporting them by telling them the lies they want to hear is not supporting them at all; you are actually degrading yourself and making their life even more miserable when that web finally breaks.
And a lot of these slackers have the
audacity to try and preach to
you about how you should live your life, while they are incapable of effecting any sort of change on
theirs. It's really quite unbelievable, and offensive to boot. A sane person only preaches about subjects he actually has some experience in, you know? Nobody has absolute experience in any field, but in order to teach someone, they do have to know at least
something about the subject; if they don't have any knowledge to teach you, the whole exercise is fruitless.
And then I haven't even talked about those people who continuously badger you about something in your field of expertise. Especially those who's field of expertise it's
also supposed to be; they just don't want to learn -- they want you to do everything
for them. And when you refuse, they get angry. Or those people who are a-social, have no friends and continuously bombard you with "hi!" until you respond and when you do, try to keep talking for hours on end until you are actually offline, even though you've mentioned that you're busy with something. They expect you to put all sorts of energy into them while, when you need someone to talk to, they don't want to hear anything -- "It can't be
half as bad as what I experienced yesterday; listen...". Or those people who make no effort whatsoever to understand you, take offense at every single remark or are generally a pain in the ass.
You say some people need friends. Yes, everybody needs friends. Some people have a large pool of friends. Some people only have one real friend. But if someone doesn't have any friends,
there's usually a very good reason for that. Any friendship you might give will be wasted at best, subverted at worst. Giving energy and effort without expecting anything back isn't friendship, it's
charity work and sacrificial charity work at that, for your energy goes into a black hole without any chance of actually accomplishing anything.
No. There are quite a lot of people anybody's better off without. Not only that, but then, just maybe, those people realize they can't continue on the self-destructive course they are on without destroying their mind, body or life. These people are leeches, if you bend over backwards to accommodate them they suck energy out of you and keep sucking until you're completely bled dry. Like emo's who are
so miserable *kuch* they cut themselves, and then go whining to you or anybody else who'll listen. It doesn't even matter if it's you or anybody else, as long as they get the attention they want. Any advice you will give will be swapped away immediately with a comment like "it won't work; I'm so miserable, everybody's against me! I am so alone! I am so ugly! I am so stupid!". Fuck them; let them work on their self-image first before you spend any energy on them. They try to suck it out of you with their sad stories all the time; best to avoid them at all cost.
Then, of course, you have those people who you don't really have a bond with; they just want to have as many people on their contact list as possible. They hardly ever speak with you, until they need something. They don't know much about you, until they want your help with something. Or those people who are, quite simply, unintelligent. They might be good for having sex with, but if that's not an option, they're really not all that useful if you can't actually have a simple conversation with them without it going completely over their head. Those people are best left off your list, as well.
If being honest with people and not accepting just any sad loser as a contact makes me or anyone else an asshole; so be it. I'll gladly wear the title, for at least I know who my real friends are, and I'm comforted by the knowledge that I save my energy and attention for those people who actually use it, are grateful for it and have the common decency to return it when needed. Friendship always goes both ways, or it's not friendship at all.
Wow.
You know what, it's okay to be gay or bisexual, but it doesn't look like your partner knows. (1) Cheating on her isn't good and (2) you could be putting her health at risk when you sleep with a different person.
