Children

[Mary Ann]

I'm impressed with the posts in this thread. Children can be such a touchy topic, but it's also a very personal choice and I'm impressed that most people have respected the decisions of others without taking issue. It sounds like most people have thought things out well and are happy with their decisions.

I want to second this. Considering the fertiliser-slinging that often occurs in other threads ("STXI SUX!" "NO IT DOESN'T, WANKER!" ) this thread had the potential to go very wrong, but the posts have been civilised, respectful, and interesting to read. Cookies for everyone!

 

[Wynterhawk]

Yay, cookies.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

I have two, my son is 26 and he is the love of my life. My daughter will be 17 and right now she is my nemesis. I hope someday we will have a better relationship. That's all i can say.

 

[Deckerd]

I wonder if your kids are aware of this favouritism.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

It isn't favoritism. She is in the difficult stage of being a teenager right now and she lives to defy everything.

 

[RegFan]

I'm not sure whether I want children. For one thing, there's my health, as well as their's to consider: I have juvenile diabetes and bipolar disorder, and while these conditions don't prevent child-bearing, neither are they conducive to the healthiest pregnancies. Plus, I run the risk of passing both onto my kids. On the other hand, they could also get my great looks, various talents, and super intelligence -- so I suppose I have something to offer.

You have a lot to offer! I've been hesitant for health reasons too. Not only passing things on genetically, but how I would physically cope with pregnancy myself.

In that case, why don't you consider adoption? It is a good alternative for people who want children but don't want to get pregnant/pass genetic disorders onto their children (Both apply to me personally - the genetic disorder in question is Asperger's syndrome which I don't have myself, but which both of my brothers have). As I've already said in this thread, I don't want to have children and thus I can understand that choice perfectly, but I get the impression that both of you want children, just not biological ones.

 

[Deckerd]

Don't kid yourself. We totally knew who Mum liked best and there were four of us.

 

[1001001]

It isn't favoritism. She is in the difficult stage of being a teenager right now and she lives to defy everything.

The same thing happened recently at our house. When our daughter turned 15 all of a sudden mom was the devil incarnate and dad was awesome. I've really enjoyed it...



I think this is fairly normal.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Don't kid yourself. We totally knew who Mum liked best and there were four of us.

Really, i have no desire to get into this discussion with you. I love both of my kids. Never said i didnt. I am just saying that right now she and i are at it 100% of the time.

Digits, yeah, it is normal. Every other mom i know with a daughter this age is going through this too. In fact, she is exactly how i was at her age. My mom and i were at each other's throats all the time too.

 

[Deckerd]

I don't recall anyone suggesting you didn't love your kids.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Again, I'm not interested in having this discussion with you. So i would appreciate it if you would just move on. I believe any further comments would be considered trolling. Thanks.

 

[Deckerd]

I'm a troll now? I didn't see that one coming.

 

[bluedana]

I always knew I wanted kids, and never more so than during those years when I couldn't have them. I put my body through a lot of torture, and then we accepted that it wasn't going to happen right then and adopted a baby boy. Then we tried again and had and buried a beautiful, preterm set of twins. Unexpectedly, we had two more bio children within the next three years. So we've run the gamut -- wanting them and not being able to have them; not trying at all and being surprised (twice!); and losing them.

Nobody is ever prepared for children, nor does having one translate necessarily to success in the next.

I couldn't explain why parenting was so important to me any more than I could fully explain why I married this particular man. I only know that when I look at my three kids, I see their potential to change the world, and it's up to me to help unlock that. We're going through some stuff regarding my oldest (adopted) son's mental and emotional well-being, and it's really driving home the fact that his life would have -- no doubt -- been so much worse if he had remained in the system, or with his bio-mom. That's a huge responsibility, and I feel it pressing on me every single minute.

But those moments are balanced by an unspeakable joy: whether I made them or I chose them, they're mine and every single part of them is precious to me.

 

[Naira]

I have heard this "we got pregnant when we gave up trying and/or when we adopted" many times. Life is so ironic sometimes!

 

[Mary Ann]

I have heard this "we got pregnant when we gave up trying and/or when we adopted" many times. Life is so ironic sometimes!

Yep. My parents adopted my two oldest brothers before having my youngest brother and myself the natural way.

 

[Jetfire]

I have two, my son is 26 and he is the love of my life. My daughter will be 17 and right now she is my nemesis. I hope someday we will have a better relationship. That's all i can say.

This is normal. Is she involved in alot of activities?...if not...she needs to be...the distraction will help. When she grows up...you will have a better relationship...as long as things don't get too sour right now.