Quick tale.
Once upon a time in a city far, far away lived all the great cobblers of the known world. Not everyone was a great cobbler but certainly it was the place to be for all those who wished to learn the trade. This included Izar Garth, a poor shoelace weaver who fancied himself as the greatest of the great cobblers. Unfortunately for Izar, shoelaces went out of style with the last ice age and Izar was too poor to win the hand of Princess Dianna.
That’s it thought Izar, I’m going to Cobbler City where I’ll become the greatest cobbler in the world and off he went.
Sadly for Izar he quickly discovered that his talent was below zero as a cobbler. His craftsmanship was so poor that the people rose up and burned down his shop. Izar now left with nothing had one alternative, roam the countryside and beg for food.
Cold and starving Izar sat on the side of the road when the wind blew a box at his feet. Not just any box but a box that was addressed to none other than the great Captain Kirk himself.
Izar carefully opened the box but to his dismay it was empty. Smitten by hunger pangs Izar wept but as the tears rolled down his face, Izar thought to himself, what if the city people thought Captain Kirks boots were in the box, surely they would pay just to see them. Perhaps even more if only to hold them. Wait No! they would tar and feather me once they discovered there never was any Boots in the box.
What to do, what to do? Izar pondered until it came to him. Izar stood to his feet, I know he thought, a show. It will be the greatest cobbler event ever. What cobbler wouldn’t wish to be a part of it but how to make them pay for nothing? That is the question!
Izar thought as he walked back towards the city. Then he recalled a tale he learned in his youth about a drifter with only a stone and a pot and would travel from village to village promising a good meal if only everyone put something into his pot to complete a famous dish called Stone Soup.
Poor Izar only had an empty box and once again sat on the side of the road. Near Izar was a pair of broken branches, he picked them up and put them in the box. They are the right weight. Izar shook the box. “Sounds like a pair of boots”, he thought.
Excited with the prospects Izar marched right back into the city and announced himself as Garth, Lord of Izar.
Izar would announce his plan to everyone that would listen. Izar enlisted other cobblers to create the greatest boots since Captain Kirks boots. Izar needed a cobblers shop, leather, tools and others to spread the word.
Before long Izar was wealthy, gave great sushi feasts to his friends. From a distance his cobbler shop appeared to rival that of C.B.S. (Cobbler Boots and Shoes) except it created no boots or shoes due to Izar’s lack of cobbler skills.
The people who helped Izar began to question if a single boot will ever be made but Izar thinking quickly claimed, “Oh No, this is prelude to boot”
Izar had nothing so one dark night he snuck into the Cobbler Boots and Shoes shop and copied their designs so he could show all the people that what was in the box was real.
The next day Izar was sued by C.B.S.
Stay tuned for part two, Outerlewd that you may also enjoy for a small yet ample donation.