caption degra along the shockwave
- Thread starter pookha
- Start date
Archer - I don't know how you're gonna make a temporal communicator out of a Chevy small block, but I'll take your word for it.
Porn in the 22nd century was somewhat more abstract than we would expect.
Sphere Builder - I've told you, Degra - we know not of these Founders.
ARCHER:"Thanks...but...I don't really need a hand-made titanium toothbrush."
"I'm Jessica...I'll be your whore for this evening! Can I interest you in the list of things I will and won't insert in my orifices?"
GUARDIAN:"Watch your tone, humanoid! With one small tweak of the timeline I can have your entire species groveling as background characters in human Pauly Shore movies!!"
Archer: And you promise this will get us free cable?
Girl: You've been on a space voyage for five months? I didn't even notice you were gone.
or
Damn those telemarketers!
Sphere Builder: The plan is perfect. First we give Earth a warning shot, and then we sit on our collective asses as we wait for the Death Sta- I mean Xindi superweapon to be built. Nothing can go wrong.
Archer - Wow. My Ipod now holds 64 billion songs!
Girl - The Commodore 64 in our Museum of Ancient Technology is missing some function keys. Would you know anything about that?
Sphere Builder - You must find the weapon they call Trip. It is spreading human DNA throughout the galaxy.
"I dunno, Daniels.
Last time I had someone try this, we fried all the hard drives for a solid month."
I.M.E. :"No, Captain Archer...you CAN'T use a discount coupon to get biomimetic gel."
DEGRA:"Your face reminds me of a lover I had when I was just an adolescent...a woman from the Fetal Fish Planet in Sector 406."
There was a lot of uncomfortable tension between transdimensional beings.
SEXUAL tension.
Archer: Did I ever tell you the story about the time I saw a gazelle being born?
Daniels: Oh god, not that story again. I swear as soon as I can time travel again I'm going back in time and killing every gazelle so you'll never be able to tell that story.
Archer: Yeah... I get that a lot.
Sphere Builder: The Acme Xindi Superweapon will be delievered soon. You're going to need a pair of roller skates and a rocket to strap onto your back...
DANIELS:"Now...watch closely, Jonathan...I won't demonstrate this twice.
If you want to know how to make Ramen noodles without any cooking equipment or water, here's what you do..."
DEGRA:"Sorry. I don't date women with embryonic nostril slits and unformed sclera."
DANIELS:"Pay attention, Jonathan. Jars of dill pickles in the 31st century are remarkably harder to pry open than their counterparts from your time frame."
SPHERE BUILDER:"For the last time...I am NOT a shapeshifting creature from the Gamma Quadrant with a narcotics-addicted clone army."
SPHERE BUILDER:"For the last time...I am NOT a shapeshifting creature from the Gamma Quadrant with a narcotics-addicted clone army."
But for another 100 bucks I CAN be.
ARCHER:"Uhhhh...don't you think getting me back to my own time and repairing history should be your top priorities?!?
Why the hell are you playing jacks?"
DEGRA:"If we allow you to have your way without interference, you'll alter Xindi history for the worse...even bring back the old Xindi-Mimes. And there's nothing worse than a world and society ruled by Xindi-Mimes."
Archer: Your suit pains me, Daniels. It physically hurts to look at. Why the hell would you chose to wear a rubber suit with glitter sporadically glued on? Why?
Jonathan, there's something I have to tell you. I'm so sorry, but you're gay.
Back off, BITCH! You're in my personal space!
"Yes...yes. I see how you skinned your knee. What does this have to do with getting me BACK?!"
"TIME-LIFE books. I'm Jessica. Can I interest you in our new five-volume series of FAMOUS SPACE DISASTERS?"
She was so close he could feel her uglying on him.
Boy Scout cookouts in the 31st century left a LOT to be desired...
"No, Captain Archer...I don't like spooning. OR the Wheelbarrow."
DEGRA:"You hate my race because of our cheek urethras...don't you?"
"That? That's what you call a cheeseburger in this century?! I gotta go."
In the split-second before she cut him off, Archer knew that Cogley
had managed to reach the Receptionist first. It never failed.
In the end, Degra had to admit to himself that the one thing he
really couldn't stand was having to take orders from a Muppet.
Archer: Is that really going to let me contact Enterprise?
Daniels: Good GOD I Hope not.
Archer realized he had greater success at changing his long distance service when he made the calls shirtless.
What do you mean I'm a ripoff of the Female Shapeshifter???!!!!
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