Caption Contest 9: Cruisin'

[ria 75]

Archer (walking up to the booth): We can't do this mission on an empty stomach.
T'Pol: We ate 3 hours ago. I do not require nutrients at the time.
Archer: Who said anything about nutrients?
Speaker: (completely garbled)
T'Pol: Captain, the universal translator is not working. Are you sure we're in the right country?

Cabbie: You're new on the block, girl? Hoochy mama! I looove that classy look. Are you also a dominatrix? Respect. You got the booty. Let me give you my business card. I work every night but tuesdays. I don't put my nose in other people's business, just as long as they don't get the seats dirty. (Rambles on.)
Archer (grabbing T'Pol's wrist): Don't. If you give him a Vulcan neck pinch, we'll have an accident!

Archer: According to this map, the White Castle should be... right around here.
T'Pol: Do you mean the establishment across the street with a one-point-two-metre-tall blinking sign reading "WHITE CASTLE" above the scantily-dressed women strolling the sidewalk?
...I fail to see the logic in covering a third of one's body surface when the temperature is 46 °F.

Archer: I know you didn't have to tip the driver, but was it you who pinned his card under
"FOR A GOOD TIME, CALL" in the White Castle's men's rooms?

Loosen up, T'Pol. You could have won that wet T-shirt contest with your hands down.
T'Pol: You said to provide a distraction, not entertainment.

 

[Alyssa]

Archer: Ooh Barneys is having a sale!

Archer: Me? I'm scared of everything! I'm scared of what I saw. I'm scared of what I did, of who I am. And most of all, I'm scared of walking away right now and never feeling the rest of my whole life... the way I feel when I'm with you!

T'Pol: (Roll's eyes) Humas.

 

[Triskelion]

Jonathan: I've got a really great compliment for you, and it's true.

T'Pol: I'm so afraid you're about to say something awful.

Jonathan: Don't be pessimistic, it's not your style. Okay, here I go: Clearly, a mistake. I've got this, what - ailment? Doctor Phlox, he says that in fifty or sixty percent of the cases, a pill really helps. I *hate* pills, very dangerous thing, pills. Hate. I'm using the word "hate" here, about pills. Hate. My compliment is, that night when you came over and told me that you would never... well, you were there, you know what you said. Well, my compliment to you is, the next morning, I started taking the pills.

T'Pol: I don't quite get how that's a compliment for me.

Jonathan: You make me want to be a better man.

T'Pol: ...That's maybe the best compliment of my life.

Jonathan: Well, maybe I overshot a little, because I was aiming at just enough to keep you from beaming out.

 

[cooleddie74]

"How much is water?

Free?

We'll split a cup."

"...and over THERE is where 20th century actor and professional weirdo Gary Busey once rammed his motorcycle into a group of pedestrians."

T'POL:"You have NO clue where we are or where we need to go...do you?"

ARCHER:"Nope.

But just keep telling people you're Angelina Jolie and we'll be fine."

"If and when we get back to Enterprise, you owe me a deluxe megaburger combo coupon."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Crap.

They don't carry the Assblaster Deluxe and Brown Shooter Special anymore."

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Archer: "Why is there an unconcious man with a broken leg at your feet?"
T'Pol: "He offered me $100 to have sex with him."
Archer: "So you broke his leg?"
T'Pol" "He offered Hoshi $200."

^Winner!!!!

I'll add
Archer:" I'll pay ya $500 for the both of you"
and hey I finally won something, Thank you

 

[Nerys Myk]

"What baffles me is why Fawn would go out with boys like that."

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER:"Quick...

hand me some of those little round metal slugs we always find on the floor deck in engineering after repairs...I've got a WICKED idea."

 

[cooleddie74]

"If I tell you you have a lovely, sexy voice and it makes me want to bone you...can we have our meals for free, Miss?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

"If I tell you you have a lovely, sexy voice and it makes me want to bone you...can we have our meals for free, Miss?"

"I'm a boy sir!!!!"

 

[Brian]

"If I tell you you have a lovely, sexy voice and it makes me want to bone you...can we have our meals for free, Miss?"

"I'm a boy sir!!!!"

Archer: "Well, we're kinda hungry, so the offer still stands.

Or I could arrange for you to see 'Angelina Jolie' topless."

T'Pol: "Captain..."

Archer: "Shhh.."

 

[cooleddie74]

"If I tell you you have a lovely, sexy voice and it makes me want to bone you...can we have our meals for free, Miss?"

"I'm a boy sir!!!!"

"What's your point? I'm easy."

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER:"Here's a classic joke from this era of American and Earth history for you to use if you want to blend in a little better.

What do you say to a one-legged prostitute after you drive your car up to her corner?

Hop in.

Use that one. You won't regret it!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Scarlett: Rhett, Rhett... Rhett, if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?

Rhett Butler: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

 

[pookha]

archer: i read that brannon braga would hang out on street corners like these.
maybe we can track him down to discuss that mess of a finale.

tpol: i believe action might be better then words.
or perhaps i could discuss the concept of tal-shaya with him.

 

[T'Lin]

T'Pol: I fail to see the purpose of "tracking down" a car owned by a person named Braga.

Archer: I got some payback to do...

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER:"Act casual.

If someone asks you if you wanna have a good time, tell them a hundred bucks...two hundred if you want a happy ending."

 

[cooleddie74]

"What?!

You don't have any more STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE toys or keychains left?

Screw this. I'm going to the IHOP!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Voice on speaker: "Mmphhh mmpphhh biggie size?"

Archer: "Where's Hoshi when you need her?"

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER:"The old history texts in school were right. Early interactive robots did suck."