Caption Contest 9: Cruisin'
- Thread starter Triskelion
- Start date
"Welcome to BurgerLand...if you're looking for those Harold and Kumar dudes, I freaked 'em out and they went drivin' like a bat outta hell lookin' for the nearest White Castle!"
ARCHER:"Still think this is a foolish mission?"
T'POL:"Is the Vulcan Pope Logitholic?"
Com voice: What is your order?
Archer: 1 Hamburger and fries and 1 ranch salad
Com voice: And then?
Archer: Erm 2 cokes
Com voice: And then?
Archer: No that's it thanks
Com voice: And then?
Archer: Seriously thats all we want
Com voice: And then?
Archer: and then .... nothing, just the burger, fries, salad and cokes!
Com voice: And then?
Archer: NOTHING
Com voice: Aaaaaaaand then?
Archer: Shut up, I don't want anything else!!!!!
Com voice: And then?
Archer: Okay you know what say that one more time and I'm gonna come in there and kick your ass!!!!
(Pause)
Archer: That's more like it
Com voice: And then,And then,And then,And then,And then,And then,And then,And then,And then,And then,And then,And then,And then,And then!
Archer: Alright, that's it!
(Exits car to kick Com voices ass!)
Last edited:
ARCHER:"DAMN.
Daniels sent us back with the wrong currency!
UH...HELLO? Yes?
Ummmm...do you accept McDonald's PlayLand Fun Bucks?"
T'Pol:Captain...Jon you seriously need to have a talk with Phlox about getting some glasses.
Archer: What you talking about I can see just fine [walks into pole]
I talk to him when we get back.
Archer thinking: I got a hot piece of ass to travel with..
T'Pol: Captain remember V'Lar said we had a connection...I just heard what you were thinking.
Archer: Good....come on my hot piece of ass lets go wrangle up some Xindi.
T'POL:"I am indeed a lucky woman."
ARCHER:"So am I."
ARCHER:"Can you supersize my resulting trichinosis and salmonella?"
"Quick...hand me Admiral Forrest's old ID card...
I'm gonna see if we can't score some Senior Discounts!"
ARCHER:"...and that, T'Pol, is why the people of this era worshipped the Crunch Berry."
- Captain, I'm telling you about my fears of losing my cultural identity by being stationed on a human ship, and now stuck in Earth's past, in its own barbaric postindustrial age.
- I'm listening, T'Pol.
- Then why did you just text Lieutenant Reed a message that said "big ones".
Archer: Yeah I'll have the Big Half Pounder with everything, a chicken ball, some curly fries and a Big Ass Coke. T'Pol, you want something?
T'Pol: I'm not sure, Captain.
Archer: What have you got for under a dollar?
It's the seven year thing, isn't it.
No Captain, actually it's the monthly thing. Same combat though.
Loomis (singing):
It's been a long road
Gettin' from there to here
It's been a long while
And my time is finally here
Well I can buy a BMW
I can be an ass
And I'm not gonna stop
for homeless people
No I'm not gonna give them change
Cause I've got hair
in a can
And lips made out of ass fat
I've got avian flu
I can't breathe
Anywhere
I've got digital tits
I'm wasting a box of kleenex
I can see you naked
Cause I access
Your electronic records
You sicko pooo-ooo-ooo-ooorn freak!
T'Pol: Finally over.
Archer: Catchy tune, though.
Last edited:
"Keep a sharp eye, T'Pol.
Historical maps of this part of the city indicate there's a strip joint somewhere around here."
ARCHER:"Yeah...can I get something that won't make me shit green water for the next WEEK?"
"Your eyes look very lovely in this light, T'Pol. If you don't survive the mission, I'm gonna carve them out of their sockets and take them back with me."
"Can you change the station, T'Pol?
I hate Mancow."
"What can we get for a handful of lint and a pint of green blood?"
ARCHER: I cant recall, is this time period before or after the Mad Cow Disease scare?
Voice From Speaker: "After. We're full-on into the shit particles on your Mexican tomatoes scare now."
ARCHER:"If I remember my Old Earth pop culture history lessons from childhood, you were supposed to shout your food order into the speaker grille and then the high school underachiever on the other side was supposed to give you the incorrect change along with a case of acne."
