Caption Contest 7: Fie or Flee

[cooleddie74]

"Wait just ONE second, Subcommander...

Trip and I have a bet on how long it'd take the roach in the corner of my ready room to start crawling up the wall, and I'm winning."

"HEY...Knock it off down there, you crazy kids!!!

The books on top of my ready room cabinet are shaking and falling over!!"

"No, no...

Try AGAIN.

And this time...use a little more cowbell!"

HOSHI:"Makes you think...doesn't it, Commander?"

TRIP:"About what?

That I need to eat more solid food and remember to flush more often?"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Bad news, Major Hayes...


The torpedo detonated as you planned, but in YOUR quarters."

 

[Pensive]

Attention all decks -- I will now be broadcasting Species IV on all your computer terminals. Please stand by..

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Reed: Goddamn, slow subspace broadband connection! I'll never get to watch Two Vulcans, An Orion and A Dilithum Crystal Cup.

 

[Triskelion]

Alright, who messed with my equalizer???

It's almost done. Better go man the fryalator. Captain wants his happy meal.

Did you enjoy Rocky last night, Captain?
Yeah, yeah. Yo, what movie they showin' tonight, T'Paulie?
I believe Commander Tucker said it was Breakfast Club.
"I wanna be just like you. I figure all I need, is a lobotomy and some tights."
"Neo-maxi zoom-dweeby."

Shh! Tom Servo's about to riff on Torgo!

 

[SciFi75]

Archer: Talk to the finger, T'Pol, because the face ain't listen'n.

T'Pol: ::sighs:: And they're going to name a world after this guy.

 

[SciFi75]

Archer: That was my last set of contacts! If I don't find the other one, I'll have to wear my nerd glasses....the ones with the white tape in the middle. The Klingons will never take me seriously!

T'Pol: I hate to tell you this, Captain, but no enemy takes you seriously.

 

[SFRabid]

Woman's voice from video feed: "You've been a naughty boy Major Hayes. Now you must be punished."

Major Hays: "Hurt me until I cry. Make me beg for mercy."

Malcolm: "Save. ... Broadcast ship wide. ... This is the best day of my life."

T'Pol thinking: (I wish he would stop picking his nose.)

T'Pol: "Captain, I am familiar with the rules of limbo. You are cheating."

 

[Triskelion]

Hold it gorgeous. Triskelion just made fleet captain with this useless caption. Now go give him a party. Sorry - I meant a "Vulcan neuropressure session". (Slut).

 

[Starpaul20]

Reed: How do you like my new ass-grabbing clone, Commander?
Trip (off screen): Disturbing

 

[cooleddie74]

"Reed to Captain...

Sir, we just lost the Outdoor Life Channel, Spike TV and Bravo...Starfleet's digital cable connections are really on the fritz this week!"

TRIP:"Y'tryin' to tell me...all the toilets on this ship...and you went in a medical test container?"

"Shhhhhhh...

If you stay REAL quiet and still you can hear Crewman Cutler going down on the Doctor one deck below."

"I'll take the Chimichonga Tex-Mex Surprise...a Budweiser...and a plate of cheese fries.

OH.

Better make that a Bud Light. Doc's been on my ass lately about my kidneys."

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER:"Pull it.

Then get the hell outta my sight."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Archer: Commander, smell this.
T'Pol: Why?
Archer: I just stuck it somewhere and I want to know if it stinks.

 

[Atavachron]

Trip: "I know you're a really great linguist but don't you think you're biting off a bit more than you can chew here."

Atavachron

 

[SFRabid]

Trip: "I thought you retrieved two slugs from the planet?"
Hoshi: "I did but one seems to have disappeared."
Phlox: (burp)

 

[Nerys Myk]

ARCHER: YEAH!!! Rock and Roll!!!!

T'POL: I take it "Vomit" is not a jazz artist?

 

[SFRabid]

OK. One more to complete my Photoshop set.

Hoshi: "Did you find the problem with the transporter that caused Captain Archer to materialize so small?

Trip: "Yep. He tried to reprogram the transporter coding so that some body parts would rematerialize larger than the original size. He inverted an equation and messed up reeeeeaaaaaalllll bad."

Woman's voice from video feed: "You've been a naughty boy Major Hayes. Now you must be punished."

Major Hays: "Hurt me until I cry. Make me beg for mercy."

Malcolm: "Save. ... Broadcast ship wide. ... This is the best day of my life."

T'Pol thinking: (I wish he would stop picking his nose.)

T'Pol: "Captain, I am familiar with the rules of limbo. You are cheating."

 

[cooleddie74]

...and with just the flick of his left wrist, Malcolm finally completed the long-awaited Shep Pettibone remix tape of Admiral Forrest's historic Xindi Attack Message.

TRIP:"Nice, Hoshi.

You've got a turd as a pet.

Anything else you wanna tell us before we all have to sign off on your transfer orders?"

...and so Dr. Sam Beckett leapt from life to life...striving to carpet floors that were once so bare...and hoping each time that his next leap...will be one with Persian rugs.

"Since you're asking, Subcommander...

Abouuuuut...THIS long. And same shape, too."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Just hold that thought, Subcommander...

I gotta bump this Contest back to the top of the page. Poor thing's been wallowing and flailing for days now."

 

[Nerys Myk]

T'POL: Something you and it have in common Captain.