caption contest 44: loosed in translation

[cooleddie74]

PHLOX:"Dear? Sweetie?

Can you show Commander Tucker where the Denobulan clitoris is located? It's bad enough Earth males have enough trouble locating their OWN SPECIES'.

Spare him the humiliation, will you?"

TRIP:"You talkin' 'bout me, Hoshi?

HOSHI?

You better not be makin' fun of my bent penis."

ARCHER:"Vulcans have MAD LIBS, too?

Wow."

Where will YOUR alien science officer be when her plomeek diarrhea returns?

(TM)

 

[cooleddie74]

VULCAN:"Do you like it, Captain Archer?

It's my list of wants for Space Santa."

 

[John Picard]

Archer: "These results are fantastic. You should be elated."

Vulcan: "I am. Can you not tell?"

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER:"Let me get this straight...VULCANS are supposed to be almost unparalleled scientific geniuses and can teach US a thing or two about technology...

And you want ME to fix your iPhone?

This thing is a mess. Sorry."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Archer: "Man, you've got a lot of subspace comm addresses in here. About half of 'em are escort services scattered all the way from Risa to Wrigley's Pleasure Planet. And the rest are all young female cadets at Starfleet Academy. Having a little mid-life crisis, are we?"

T'Pol: "Oh God, it's not here! Oh God, I left it at home! Oh God, my parents are going to find it!"

 

[John Picard]

T'Pol: "Oh God, it's not here! Oh God, I left it at home! Oh God, my parents are going to find it!"

WINNER!

 

[Shatmandu]

Archer, handing it over: "These are the valid reasons to not go ass-to-mouth."
Vulcan: "Hmf. Humans. So primitive ..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

ARCHER: I don't know what's more surprising. That I've insulted Vulcans this much or that you've been keeping count.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

ARCHER: "Why you looking at me like that? If you fall for a Nigerian e-mail scam, dude, you only have yourself to blame."

 

[Triskelion]

Archer: Hm, according to this, before being a Vulcan doctor you were a half-blind Takarian bard in the Delta Quadrant. And before that, you were Vulcan again, but this time an ambassador, on a diplomatic tour of DS9. And prior to that, a paranoid Security Minister that opposed your planet's entry to the Federation. Trouble holding down a job, Doctor Oratt?

Dr Oratt: You must be mistaken. My name is T'Pol.

Hm, what other crap can I throw in the suitcase to make it look like I'm going somewhere and not spending three days locked in my room so they will stop bothering me with stupid questions and obtuse remarks about my ears? Not to mention that leg-humping crotch-sniffing dog, Dr. Phlox.

 

[cooleddie74]

VULCAN:"Do you like it?

It is my first script. I submitted it to Woody Allen's head-in-a-jar, but he rejected it as being 'too gentile and logical.' "

T'Pol always hated packing for vacation when she was suffering from intermittent diarrhea attacks.

 

[cooleddie74]

PHLOX:"Can you assist Commander Tucker, my dear?

He's not familiar with how we Denobulans play DONKEY KONG."

 

[ChristopherPike]

Archer: "Wow. That's quite a list... and we always thought nobody was paying attention.

What is a canon violation anyway?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

TRIP: Mam', thats not the joy stick.

FEEZAL: I'll be the judge of that.

 

[cooleddie74]

FEEZAL:"...and THIS is how you fertilize the ovum."

PHLOX:"Stop teasing the Commander, my dear...if you don't mind!

Getting his hopes up about participating in a 9-way is very cruel and goes against our ethics."

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER:"You want a 35% TIP?!

Screw that!! Take this bill and shove it up your ass along with your repressed emotions, Pointy. I'm not eating here ever AGAIN!!"

 

[ChristopherPike]

"This is the complete list of FCC violations in your next season.

We especially loved editing all the best bits out of Harbinger and showing them at our Christmas party.

Well... (sighing) I think that's everything. I have a busy day lined up examining wardrobe malfunctions in slow motion.

It's hard work but somebody's got to do it..."

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER:"This is the most boring, long-winded PSP game I've ever seen."

 

[Shatmandu]

Archer: "Yes, your catalog of Carrie Prejean sex tapes is impressive, but we have other business to attend to ..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

ARCHER: Sorry sir, I don't see a reservation.