caption contest 42: frontin' in my ride

[Triskelion]

Well that's a wrap folks, another contest in the can. This time around we had a double win and a single win, and both winners won last week - so they can stick around the winner's circle for another contest!


But first, a Public Service Announcement:

And now...

First Image:

JOLENE: Ummm, the built in corset is cutting off my circulation again. (passes out)

Second Image:

TRIP: (reading) "Pon Farr for Men" I didn't even know Vulcans used cologne.

'Chop Shop Award:

Sam Beckett: (hand covering his mouth, to disguise his lip movements) "Why haven't I leaped yet?"

Al: "According to Ziggy, there's a 92% chance you're here to save this show..."

(starts having trouble with the handset)

Director: (loud voice off camera) "CUT!"

Al: (shrugging) "...well, for another 12 episodes at least!

Uh-oh.

That guy with the megaphone looks really pissed at you, Sam."

Director: "Scott? Hey Scott?

What the fuck is he playing at...?!?"

Jolene: "He seems to be talking to a blank monitor screen... again."

Al: (finally noticing her) "Hell-low...

...and who's that chick in red?"

Emerging from inside the wall, we realise he's not on the screen at all!

"Wowie, wowie wow-wow-wow! Reminds me of that hot summer night back in Reno, that hottie who owned two badly parked Volkswagens...

...particularly from this angle!"

Sam: (face palm) "Oooooooh... boy."

Congratulations to the winners!
It gives me great pleasure to award the National Medal of Geekology Award Medal to you:

Nerys Myk

Nerys Myk

​

ChristopherPike

​

APPLAUSE
<insert gazelle speech here>


Our next contest godwins the temporal cold war timeline. It's from Storm Front, featuring rappin' alien gangstas and a low rider drive by:

____________________________

Arm the Canon Violation!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

"To all occupying forces, seek and detain one Kanye West, anything up to, but not including lethal force is permitted. He's charged with comparing me unfavourably to John Gill."

Joey: "Hey, Chandler you gonna love this. Come check out the parade."
Chandler: "Give it a rest Joey, you know I hate Thanksgiving."
Joey: "But this balloon is cool, it's an inflatable starship from that show you like."

...
...
...

Chandler: "Aw man, that is so not canon!"

 

[SFRabid]

"Mom. This isn't a good time. ... I'm trying to take over the galaxy across all time. ... More important things? ... No. I have not met a female yet. ..."

Archer to Travis: "Watch out for that flock of pigeons!"

Skully: "Due to budget cuts we have had to reduce the size of photos used in contests."

 

[Rat Boy]

Vosk: "Nah, man. We're not getting high. We don't do the weed anymore, man."

Guy in background: *snicker*

Other guy in background: "Order some pizza!"

Vosk: "Quiet, man, let me focus."

The crew of the NX-01 travel back in time to kill Hitler...not to prevent World War II but instead to prevent the Angry Hitler in Downfall (Der Untergang) meme from ever starting.

 

[cooleddie74]

Glenn Beck's radio show was just plain getting desperate for controversy by this point.

PEDESTRIAN #1: "Hey, Mike...you know the definition of bad timin' and luck I was tellin' ya about?"

PEDESTRIAN #2: "Yeah?"

PEDESTRIAN #1:"Well...look up."

 

[cooleddie74]

"This is VOSK-1944 radio giving a shout out to ALL the grey-skinned, red-eyed friends of the Fatherland out there...it's half past 9 on the ol' Fuhrer Clock...and this is Tokyo Rose with the new classic 'Me So Treasonous.'"

 

[ChristopherPike]

Archer: "Fire!"

Negative bleep from Tactical

Reed: "Oh bloody hell..."

Archer: "What?"

Reed: "I missed King Kong and hit Al Jolson instead."

Mayweather: "Shhhhhhaaame."

 

[ChristopherPike]

"Go ahead... you're on the air and through to Vosk."

"Hey. Long time listener, first time caller. Any chance you can play 'Misty' for me...?"

 

[T'Girl]

. . . . .

... If you want my body ... and you think I'm sexy ... come on sugar let me know ...


T'Girl

 

[cooleddie74]

"...and the 10th caller will receive an autographed photo of Herr Hitler...the Fuhrer himself! And a year's supply of Der Turtle Waxen!"

 

[cooleddie74]

Mayor LaGuardia FINALLY went a step too far in his fight against organized crime...

 

[Nerys Myk]

VOSK: Listen asshole, I am a frickin SUPERVISOR!!!!!!

 

[Triskelion]

Attention K Mart shoppers. Blue light special in the candy corn aisle. You will have a nice day. That is all.

Archer: Did we get it?
Daniels: Affirmative. The timelines show that Jimmy Fallon's parents will come home to find their apartment demolished, and move back to corn country.
Archer: Mayweather, set course for the Ferrell place.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Vosk: "People of Earth. Seeing as you have not yet responded to our demands, I assume you do not take us seriously. Let me give yet another warning. Believe me when I tell you we have removed, and imprisoned, the beloved leader you call "Hitler", along with all traces of his mighty and glorious empire. Unless you surrender all your planet's gold, you will never see anything associated with the Nazi party ever again!"

Minion: "It's been three months, sir, and no reply"

Vosk: "They'll cave in any week now, you mark my words..."

 

[cooleddie74]

"...and coming up next on our 24-hour marathon of greatest Top 40 hits...seven songs by the one and only David Hasselhoff!!!"

ARCHER:"Malcolm...lock onto Rockefeller Center!! Three torpedoes!!

If we can prevent the Charles Rocket and Gibert Gottfried season of SNL from ever happening we need to take the risk!!!"

 

[cooleddie74]

Vosk would miss many things about 20th century Earth.

First and foremost...the Keebler Grasshopper cookie.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

"...and there goes the Vulcan consulate"

"Just like the Tellarite and Rigellian embassies"

"Now on to the Denobulan conclave"

"Are you sure these orders came from Starfleet, captain?"

"Yes, an Admiral Paxton contacted me directly. Something about aliens being a threat to Earth".

"....ah. Captain...."

*muffled conversation*

"Ah, crap."

 

[cooleddie74]

VOSK:"Breaker, breaker, good buddy...this here's The Ugly Reichsmarshal...keep your ears open for instructions on interceptin' the Aryan Angel when she warps your way!

What's your twenty? What's your story?"

TRAVIS:"I'm gettin' too pointless for this shit."

 

[cooleddie74]

"You have few options, Captain Archer.

Hand over the information I require...or else I expose Hogan's underground operation to Klink."

 

[Nerys Myk]

From a sugestion by Mistral

ARCHER: Nice shooting "Tex."

REED: I'm from England.

ARCHER: Obviously.