Caption Contest 35: u sank my battlestar!
- Thread starter Triskelion
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Nicely done.
TRIP: The idea is to keep the dice on the table.
T'POL: Your instructions were to "toss them".
Degra(hysterical): "And these red spots?!?"
Archer: "Relax, eventually they turn black, like these. And the pain while urinating passes too."
Archer: "You call that a scar? I got this working one summer for a Vulcan veterinarian. I had to assist with a selat breach pregnancy. Selats don't like it when you shove an arm up the you know what."
Malcolm thinking: Why does the entire crew go around putting their hands on everything? This is how germs spread.
Phlox: "He is in a comma. Did he have any symptoms before passing out?"
Archer: "No, but he did seem a little distracted while I was telling him about my trip to Africa."
ARCHER:"Quick. Prove who you are.
Show me the Hello Kitty and Barney tattoos..."
ARCHER:"The ship looks like THIS on the inside?
Really?!
Wow. See, now I'm just plain sad. I need a drink. Excuse me."
ARCHER:"Will he remember anything?"
PHLOX:"About the abduction scenario? No. Your inappropriate sexual moves on him? Too early to tell."
The new Xbox 7000 just plain kicked ASS.
ARCHER:"That's ok, keep trying. Now one more time. It's 'Rock, Paper, Scissors. Ready? Go."
ARCHER:"I've called you all here because T'Pol has requested that her uniform be changed to something a little less form fitting and restrictive. All in favor?"
Hoshi/T'Pol: "Aye."
Archer: "Against?"
Archer/Tucker/Reed/Mayweather/Phlox: "NAY!"
Archer: "Well Subcommander, there you have it."
Phlox: "Yes Captain, he is in a deep sleep."
Archer: "Good. Now hold his mouth open while I un-zip. After the pictures of him 'tea-bagging' a human get back to his home world, he'll go from Lead Weapons Designer' to asking 'would you like fries with that?' in no time."
Phlox: "He is in a comma. Did he have any symptoms before passing out?"
Archer: "Beats me, but at least he isn't in a colon."
DEGRA:"Am I doing this correctly?"
ARCHER:"Make sure the whole arm is nice and numb. Then play with yourself. Back where I come from it's called 'Making Love to a Stranger.'"
TRIP:"Boy. Good thing no perverts are watching us every morning when we have these little hobnobs, huh?"
PHLOX:"It's official, Captain.
Death by Corinthian Leather Overdose."
DEGRA: Check it out. Spock on a Harley, and it says, "Pimp Long and Prosper". Pretty rad, huh.
ARCHER: That's nothing. This is Carl Spock and Grignak in assless chaps and it says, "Takes permits many, money more".
Archer: So how are we coming on the cupholders, Trip?
Trip: Y'all just need to decide if you want 'em stable or supersize.
Archer: T'Pol, how did the Vulcans solve this problem?
T'Pol: We made our officers qualify for command.
Archer: So much for my new "Hamster with Elephantitis" speech.
ARCHER:"Newbie!
It took me ten hits before I got my first heroin track."
Niners might get this one...
Archer flips his wrist, tipping his head back, catching something in his mouth, before chewing.
Degra tries, but his trajectory is off. Arms flailing in all directions... he realises this isn't going to work for him.
Archer: "No, no. You're doing it all wrong. The secret is to position the pea."
Degra: "I thought I had that!"
Archer flips his wrist, tipping his head back, catching something in his mouth, before chewing.
Degra tries, but his trajectory is off. Arms flailing in all directions... he realises this isn't going to work for him.
Archer: "No, no. You're doing it all wrong. The secret is to position the pea."
Degra: "I thought I had that!"
Nice one!
Actually, I wonder if that was a conscious choice on Keating's part. Reed did seem kind of like the hypochondriac type.
Malcolm thinking: Why does the entire crew go around putting their hands on everything? This is how germs spread.
T'POL:"Nice try, Trip...but in this case I will not 'Lose My Shirt.' "
DEGRA:"A Pokemon tattoo?!
How drunk DID we get?!"
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