Best Avengers storylines from the comics?

[Guy Gardener]

Middle of a nervous breakdown?

He'd just finished showing Jan the giant killer robot he'd built to save the Avengers from so that they would ask him to sign back up after an untimely suspension because he's not a failure. N, n, not a failure.

"Don't attack the avengers with a giant killer robot" She says.

5 across the eyes.

Once.

And she goes into hiding because of the immense betrayal and shame.

That wasn't her husband.

That was a super villain.

That was her job.

Her job is to get shot at and beaten by super villains until Captain America can save the day because sexism must prevail.

Lets just remember.

She can turn an unlimited amount of concrete into an unlimited amount of powder with the unlimited concussive blasts that manifest from her ten finger tips.

Jan could have removed his hands and feet if she hadn't been programmed by traditional power concepts to love, honour and obey her husbands powerful rage...

In the Ultimates Jan went back to Hank (quickly), Because Captain America was a 90 year old man who liked to do all the same boring shit all the other 90 year old men do.

"Lets play checkers and watch some silent movies."

Just remember that after Hank belted Jan, he was replaced by a Skrull since "our" late 1980s, so all the times they got back together and broke up again, it wasn't him.

Golly.

Hank Pym in the Crossing.

where he's (And stark are) retroactively revealed to be a Manchurian candidate(s) assassin(s) for the time traveling despot Kang the Conqueror who had been playing the long game.

THAT WAS A SKRULL!

Hmm?

Was the Skrull in so deep that he thought he had been brain washed?

Kang didn't notice?

 

[Nick Ryder]

That's why I really hope in the Marvel Cinematic Universe they never bring in the whole 'wife beater' angle. I mean honestly... I was reading a few of the classic Avengers stories - shortly before his break down and the 'beating' and she was injured at least twice and in the hospital for quite a while and 'nearly died'. Now... it was all hunky dory for her to get her ass kicked and swatted by every Tom Dick and Harry bad guy. But when Hank does it because he just fucking lost his shit once - it's like 'oh Hank Pym that sonuvabitch'. I'm not saying domestic abuse is good or even tolerable. You never hit a woman. But these are people who's FUCKING JOBS it is to go out and beat the living piss out of anyone who's a 'Bad guy". How many bad guys or bad girls did Hank and Janet just pummel into submission in their careers? Honestly, they live and work in a violent culture and job, their first reaction is to punch.

But I do like where they took Hank Pym after the whole Secret Invasion thing. I just wish that they would bring Janet back somehow. I mean c'mon, say that the Jan that died was a clone or some such bullshit. Look at Mockingbird. Hell they even had 'corpse" come back once!

 

[Guy Gardener]

They met her in hell near west coast one hundred.

Hell, they met Norman Osborn in hell back in an 80s Avengers annual

 

[Dream]

The Vision in a romance? Isn't he a robot?

 

[Guy Gardener]

He fell in love with the scarlet Witch in the 60s, and married her in the early 70s, then fathered magneto's grandchilren in the 80s, when suddenly the government pulled him to pieces, wiped is hard drives, and released him into the public as an albino amnesiac hero.

techniczally he's a Sythezoid.

Synthetic.

like Bishop from Aliens.

Made up of flesh like somewhat alive plastics.

The Witch used her probability manipulating mutant hex powers during sex to become conceived by his synthetic jizm.

Then stuff got really complicated.

 

[Silvercrest]

I have never understood how you can use probability powers to manifest the flat-out impossible.

Increasing the likelihood of an unlikely event, sure. "There's a 0.001% chance that this thug will undergo spontaneous combustion. Multiply that probability by a hundred thousand or so."

But if there is just no conceivable way something could happen, like a plastic man fathering a child, the likelihood is 0%. You can multiply that factor all you want and the result is still going to be zero.

 

[Nerys Myk]

I have never understood how you can use probability powers to manifest the flat-out impossible.

Increasing the likelihood of an unlikely event, sure. "There's a 0.001% chance that this thug will undergo spontaneous combustion. Multiply that probability by a hundred thousand or so."

But if there is just no conceivable way something could happen, like a plastic man fathering a child, the likelihood is 0%. You can multiply that factor all you want and the result is still going to be zero.

Its magic. Don't over think it. Something to do with Mephisto, IIRC. I don't think there was any synth/robo sperm involved at all.

 

[Silvercrest]

Hey, I can buy magic. But if that's the case, people need to stop throwing around the "probability" thing. I think that was a buzzword from back when they wanted to make her appear magical without actually being magical.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Hey, I can buy magic. But if that's the case, people need to stop throwing around the "probability" thing. I think that was a buzzword from back when they wanted to make her appear magical without actually being magical.

She's been a magic user since the 70s. Somehow that's linked to her probability powers. She has a very confusing power set.

 

[Silvercrest]

And a very improbable power set.

I thought the magic was a retcon in the late 1980s or 1990s after the probability thing was well-established.

 

[Nerys Myk]

And a very improbable power set.

I thought the magic was a retcon in the late 1980s or 1990s after the probability thing was well-established.

She began to study magic with Agatha Harkness back in the 70s. At first it was to help her focus on her Hex power ( at it was called). Then there was something about her power being linked to Chaos Magic, then there was no Chaos Magic, then there was again. Head spinning yet?

 

[Silvercrest]

I'm not sure; I'll let you know as soon as I figure out which way is up.

No, seriously, I knew most of that. Plus there's Byrne's explanation that she's retroactively altering the timeline, courtesy of Immortus.

But it still means the word "probability" should have dropped out of her lexicon decades ago.

 

[Nerys Myk]

I'm not sure; I'll let you know as soon as I figure out which way is up.

No, seriously, I knew most of that. Plus there's Byrne's explanation that she's retroactively altering the timeline, courtesy of Immortus.

But it still means the word "probability" should have dropped out of her lexicon decades ago.

Or she should stick to casinos in Vegas.

 

[Guy Gardener]

That was one of the canon defying things Bendis started with Avengers Disassembled... Doctor Strange shows up in the aftermath of Wanda fucking every one over with Avengers piled up like soup cans and says "Wanda can use magic? What the hell is chaos magic? There's no such thing as Chaos magic!"

During Byrne's run in West Coast Avengers, I remember Pym being confused how shit was getting retroactively altered to justify how her powers work, but I'm not quite remembering Immortus' involvement with that, but it has been a while... but then old man Kang officiated her wedding so it's not too much of a leap to assume that he has his fingers in everything.

Mephisto bought Master Pandemonium's soul years earlier, cut it into 5 pieces and hid it about the universe. Two of those soul shards were the Scarlet Witches children. So Mephisto was just laughing have a long week end while his stooge whipping boy was trying to be a hard lad trying his hand at kidnapping.

Considering "No more Mutants" and "House of M" her powers seem to be able to alter reality throughout time on at least a planetary scale, and if she really wanted to have an intense bank balance then she wouldn't have done Runaway Bride on Victor Von Doom last year.

 

[Dream]

I have never understood how you can use probability powers to manifest the flat-out impossible.

Increasing the likelihood of an unlikely event, sure. "There's a 0.001% chance that this thug will undergo spontaneous combustion. Multiply that probability by a hundred thousand or so."

But if there is just no conceivable way something could happen, like a plastic man fathering a child, the likelihood is 0%. You can multiply that factor all you want and the result is still going to be zero.

I never understood Witch. Wasn't she born a mutant? So her power is magic? Seems so lazy.

 

[Silvercrest]

No, she was supposed to be a mutant whose power was to alter probabilities and make unlikely things happen. Usually in the vein of giving extremely bad luck to her opponents. It was the writers' way of giving her an explainable power without just falling back on "magic". It allowed her to call her power a "hex", and call herself a "witch", and have other magic-related trappings without actually being magical. I'd call that creative rather than lazy. Although since narratively it could still be treated as magic, maybe it was lazy.

The problem is that later writers started complicating things by saying there was actual magic involved. And later, something about altering timelines. It's all been downhill from there.

From what I can see, the magic business was their way of explaining how she could do things that didn't just involve probabilities-- plus it allowed them to goose her power level as needed.

But the "probabilities" explanation never really went away... hence my original complaint.

 

[Dream]

I've always hated how lazy the concept of mutants are in Marvel.

How did they get their powers? They were born with it. So boring.

Give me Captain America, Iron Man, and Spider-Man any day.

 

[Guy Gardener]

She was raised as a gypsie in the eastern Europe, in the original continuity her powers began manifesting during the 1950s... Traveling in a horse drawn caravan, cross my palm with silver bullshit. The whole nine yards. Even the gypsies without superpowers were called witches because they were talking about hex this and evil eye that, and lets not forget about the spitting.

Can you imagine Jarvis asking her to restrain from spitting every time she started talking about some one she disliked?

In the 80s she was part of the spell that rid the Vampires form the planet when Steven collected all his friends together... And she part of the magic users group handing the galactic teleporting during the Infinity war.

Her mutant powers tap into magic energy supposedly.

She cheats.

but then they forgot all about that.

Busiak really stressed the entire chaos magic thing after Avengers reborn, because perez really liked drawing her barefoot with an anklet.

Ooo... I'm remembering Immortus in the west coast Avengers now. At least i can see in my minds eye John Byrnes impression of him which couldn't happen anywhere else.

What the fuck was up with that hat?

Seriously Kang, you're 80 years old.

Your neck doesn't have to deal with all that weight!

You're going to get a hump.

Gods.

90 year old kang goes back in time to tell 80 year old kang...

"What ever you do , buy a smaller hat."

 

[Silvercrest]

I've always hated how lazy the concept of mutants are in Marvel.

How did they get their powers? They were born with it. So boring.

Give me Captain America, Iron Man, and Spider-Man any day.

You're oversimplifying. Marvel mutants aren't usually born with their powers; they usually come out in the teen years, after which the mutant becomes part of an oppressed minority and may not even be treated as human. There's a lot of allegory there and a lot of room for great storytelling.

I guess you won't get much out of it if you think the concept is just limited to "how they got their powers". But it's easy enough to dismiss all the other characters if you don't know anything about them.

"They gave him a shot of steroids and he became super-patriotic. So boring."

"He doesn't have any powers, just a metal suit. So boring."

"He doesn't have any powers, just a bow and arrow. So boring."

"He's a magical god. So boring."

"He's a robot who walks through walls. So boring."

"Gamma radiation made him big and green. So boring."

"Ionic radiation made him strong. So boring."

"He was bitten by a radioactive spider. WTF? That doesn't even make sense. So boring."