I have a joke about Ferengi, but I'd have to charge you to tell it. (Same goes for my joke about Milkshake, but that isn't so relevant here).
Bad Trek Jokes, Part II
- Thread starter Lord Garth
- Start date
"By the Prophets!" Shaxs yelled, when asked where Deep Space 9 was.
I'm all ears, said Spock pointedly.
Not mine, but there was a redshirt called Payne. And he died in a lot of it.
There was also a redshirt called Dyer...
There was also a redshirt called Dyer...
The first one is from The Orville's 'Firestorm.' I made up the second myself. It all depends on how you pronounce those names.
"Liver" is opposed to "Dyer"? How so?
Like I said, it's all about pronunciation. Remember, redshirts die i.e. die-er!
His name could also be a commentary on the last situation he was in, i.e. dire.
Good Lord...
Must you?
Or maybe is shirt wasn't initially red, which would make him a dyer... Nevermind...
No, no: BAD jokes
Not sure if the whole set has been posted in this thread yet but...
Q:How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
A:None! Burnt out light bulbs have no honour, and brave Klingons have no fear of the dark!
Q:What happens to the Klingon who changes the light bulb anyway?
A:He's pronounced a coward in front of the whole crew!
Q:And what happens to the burnt out light bulb?
A:It gets executed for failure!
Also:
Q: How many Betazoids does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two; one who changes the light bulb and one who lies on the floor moaning "Darkness! I sense Darkness!"
Q: How many Betazoids does it take to change a light bulb?
A: No! No! No! First the light bulb must *wish* to be changed!
Q: How many Betazoids does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I can feel the light bulb's pain...
Q:How many senior officers of the Enterprise D does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one of them, the rest need to debate the political and moral consequences of such an action.
Q:How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
A:None! Burnt out light bulbs have no honour, and brave Klingons have no fear of the dark!
Q:What happens to the Klingon who changes the light bulb anyway?
A:He's pronounced a coward in front of the whole crew!
Q:And what happens to the burnt out light bulb?
A:It gets executed for failure!
Also:
Q: How many Betazoids does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two; one who changes the light bulb and one who lies on the floor moaning "Darkness! I sense Darkness!"
Q: How many Betazoids does it take to change a light bulb?
A: No! No! No! First the light bulb must *wish* to be changed!
Q: How many Betazoids does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I can feel the light bulb's pain...
Q:How many senior officers of the Enterprise D does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one of them, the rest need to debate the political and moral consequences of such an action.
In the first TNG episode, Deanna was like Jimmy two times from Goodfellas, she said everything twice!
"Pain, Pain", "loneliness, complete loneliness..."
and in the end "Happy and grateful... Happy and grateful"...
I could be paraphrasing, I don't know the exact words, just that she kept repeating them...
"Pain, Pain", "loneliness, complete loneliness..."
and in the end "Happy and grateful... Happy and grateful"...
I could be paraphrasing, I don't know the exact words, just that she kept repeating them...
In the first TNG episode, Deanna was like Jimmy two times from Goodfellas, she said everything twice!
"Pain, Pain", "loneliness, complete loneliness..."
and in the end "Happy and grateful... Happy and grateful"...
I could be paraphrasing, I don't know the exact words, just that she kept repeating them...
What's interesting about this, especially with regards to an alien character, is she might be speaking in (partial) Betazoid syntax. That, in shades of the Tamarians, the universal translator does not comfortably relate what her meaning is and falls back on some sort of Betazoid tendency to repeat words for emphasis.
The translator may have been updated later, or maybe Troi just got more comfortable speaking English. Maybe a translator update (or language switch) is the explanation for why she changed accents after those early episodes.
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