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Author Habits That Annoy You

"If I lean over, I leave myself open to wedgies, wet willies, or even the dreaded Rear Admiral!"

"Wet willies"? How would leaning over make one any more vulnerable to having one's ears attacked?

And at any rate, "I've really enjoyed this intercourse" seems a bit verbose for an ejaculation, which is usually no more than 2-3 words at most.

And that reminds me of a "turtle club initiation" question: "what is a four-letter word, ending in 'K,' that means 'intercourse'?" ("Talk").

(And you bet your sweet E. asinus I'm a Turtle! And so is the cast iron cart I'm using to move a large type forme.)
 
I think it was on this board that I was reminded of how often "smirk" gets used, and almost always in the wrong way.

A smirk is a smug smile. But we all seem to mostly use it to describe a gentle lopsided smile.

At this point I think smirk should just get double-duty officially, like so many other mis-used words. (Like my personal pet peeve "Factoid".)
 
I think it was on this board that I was reminded of how often "smirk" gets used, and almost always in the wrong way.

A smirk is a smug smile. But we all seem to mostly use it to describe a gentle lopsided smile.

At this point I think smirk should just get double-duty officially, like so many other mis-used words. (Like my personal pet peeve "Factoid".)
I've always understood smirk to be the first definition, and while I'd make allowances for it perhaps being a "crooked" smile, I don't really think it's intended to be gentle.
 
I don't really think it's intended to be gentle.
By gentle I meant to describe a smile that does not include visible teeth. Perhaps I should have said 'crooked grin'.

It seems to show up a lot in situations like a character being amused and suppressing a 'smirk' (not in a mocking way) but I'll admit that I may be mistaken and have oversold the frequency of misuse. :)
 
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By gentle I meant to describe a smile that does not include visible teeth. Perhaps I should have said 'crooked grin'.

It seems to show up a lot in situations like a character being amused and suppressing a 'smirk' (not in a mocking way) but I'll admit that I may be mistaken and have oversold the frequency of misuse. :)
Mmm. I do think friends can smirk at each other without it being malicious, but more akin to having fun at each others' expense, if that makes any sense? Good-natured ribbing?
 
Mmm. I do think friends can smirk at each other without it being malicious, but more akin to having fun at each others' expense, if that makes any sense? Good-natured ribbing?

Yeah, that's my sense of it. Not even at another person's expense, but toward an idea or a situation, or even at one's own expense. Something with more of an attitude or edge than a simple smile, but not necessarily in a haughty or condescending way.
 
There's one thing every woman's missed in
Massachusetts Bay
[John smirks]
Don't smirk at me, you egotist, pay
Heed to what I say

Followed, no doubt, by the singalong chorus:
Whoa-oh-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-whoa-whoa
Whoa-oh-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-whoa-whoa
Come sing me loud!
Come sing me Massachusetts Bay!
Whoa-oh-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-whoa-whoa
:lol:

Seriously, though, the last time I saw 1776 was somewhere around 1982.
 
I think you might have 1776 confused with Hamilton, although I haven't seen the latter, so I couldn't say.

For your enjoyment, here's the complete number, all 4 1/2 minutes, "saltpeter/pins" exchange and all, from Adams walking out the door to when he finally accedes to the entire Congress's request that he sit down. William Daniels (yes, he can sing!) and Virginia Vestoff (whom we lost far too soon).

(And I have seen it since 1982. After I stopped celebrating Independence Day at Disneyland, I celebrate it by watching 1776. Sometimes also Williamsburg: The Story of a Patriot and maybe even the Independence NHP orientation video as well. And I celebrate Apollo Day by watching Footprints on the Moon, and I don't mean the Italian horror film.)
 
Coming late to this discussion, I hate hate hate said-bookisms. While the point about audiobooks is a fair one, "said" really is invisible to the reader, and most substitutions draw unnecessary attention to themselves and/or insult the reader's intelligence.

"I'm sorry," she apologized

We know she apologized, because she just said "I'm sorry"! All too often it's distracting, and the worst thing you can do as a writer is distract the reader or throw them out of the story or interrupt the flow of reading.
 
Coming late to this discussion, I hate hate hate said-bookisms. While the point about audiobooks is a fair one, "said" really is invisible to the reader, and most substitutions draw unnecessary attention to themselves and/or insult the reader's intelligence.

"I'm sorry," she apologized

We know she apologized, because she just said "I'm sorry"! All too often it's distracting, and the worst thing you can do as a writer is distract the reader or throw them out of the story or interrupt the flow of reading.

I think that's a straw-man example. There are many valid ways to show nuance with words other than "said," like "'I'm sorry,' she grated" if it's reluctant, or "'I'm sorry,' she sobbed" if it's heartfelt, or "'I'm sorry,' she scoffed" if it's sarcastic. "Said" is incapable of conveying tone or subtext. Of course, all those could be expressed with other phrases, like, "She sobbed. 'I'm sorry!'" But it seems illogical to deprive oneself of a potentially useful tool with a blanket prohibition rather than making the decision case-by-case. "There can be no justice so long as laws are absolute," Picard declared.

Also, visibility is not an absolute either. The constant use of "said" is invisible to some people, but people like me can come to find it tiresome.
 
Anything overused is annoying. It's all in how you vary your approach.

I bet even authors who don't particularly like "X said" still use it hundreds of times per book. Because it works.
 
I bet even authors who don't particularly like "X said" still use it hundreds of times per book. Because it works.

Well, yes, obviously. My whole point is that it isn't all-or-nothing. The corrective to one unhealthy extreme is not the opposite unhealthy extreme, but a reasonable middle ground. "Said" is the baseline, but there are times when alternatives are useful. Just like you usually operate a car in drive, but there are times when the other gears are useful. That's why they're there.
 
Having edited for several years now has certainly led me to get philosophical about the differences between reading for the sake of reading and reading with the Editor Hat on. "Said" would definitely be less visible to me if I wasn't editing. I've also learned I'm not a great "continuity editor", or whatever the term for that would be, for larger works, because I'm balancing this with my 'real' job, so there's only so much time I can commit to it, meaning I'm slow and my memory for stuff I read weeks or months earlier isn't so great, and I don't desire (and haven't been asked) to keep a tracking spreadsheet. But also this story takes place in a fictional world, and while the author has created maps (and even star charts!), trying to keep track of that stuff on my own would drive me a little bonkers, especially since the passage of time is sometimes ambiguous.

I actually landed my first major editing gig in part because I was already beta reading voluntarily, and when I apologized to the author for the fact that I was, in my mind, falling inexcusably behind, he asked me what I thought of what I'd read so far and I told him something to the effect of, "I really like the story you're telling, and I'd definitely recommend this to other people...but there are enough mechanical issues...not a ton, but enough...that I'd feel obligated to mention that to anyone I was recommending the book to." I also mentioned that I was struggling a bit because my Editor Brain kept making me want to say something about those even as I knew that was out of scope for a Beta Reader, and he asked me whether I'd be open to the possibility of editing for him (he'd had a prior editor who he'd released in part because she explicitly ignored one of the significant points of his Manual of Style), and the ball kept rolling from there.
 
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