Asexuality

[Trekker4747]

I honestly don't think it "exists." In terms that it is something that a person is "born as" and is just part of who they are. I think it's mostly a "choice" someone makes or maybe is lured into by years of little to no sexual contact/thoughts or trying to be as neutral/open sexually.

Regardless of my thoughts on the validity of such a thing existing if someone wants to consider themselves as "asexual" and behave and/or be treated as such. Fine. Sure. Whatever. Not my place to impose my beliefs on gender identity on someone else, and I'll respect a person's desire to be seen as "asexual" even if I don't agree with the notion of such a thing existing in humans.

I am attracted to women emotionally & sexually but none have been attracted to me so I gave up.

Sort of how I feel.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I honestly don't think it "exists." In terms that it is something that a person is "born as" and is just part of who they are. I think it's mostly a "choice" someone makes or maybe is lured into by years of little to no sexual contact/thoughts or trying to be as neutral/open sexually.

Regardless of my thoughts on the validity of such a thing existing if someone wants to consider themselves as "asexual" and behave and/or be treated as such. Fine. Sure. Whatever. Not my place to impose my beliefs on gender identity on someone else, and I'll respect a person's desire to be seen as "asexual" even if I don't agree with the notion of such a thing existing in humans.

I think it's kinda crappy to say "I don't think asexuality really exists" and then sort of walk it back with "but it doesn't matter what I think, whatever."

Maybe just don't comment, then?

Imagine if you had said the above about homosexuality, or transgender. That'd be a bit nasty, wouldn't it, even if you gave the disclaimer that your own thoughts on its validity don't matter?

 

[Kestra]

I honestly don't think it "exists." In terms that it is something that a person is "born as" and is just part of who they are. I think it's mostly a "choice" someone makes or maybe is lured into by years of little to no sexual contact/thoughts or trying to be as neutral/open sexually.

Regardless of my thoughts on the validity of such a thing existing if someone wants to consider themselves as "asexual" and behave and/or be treated as such. Fine. Sure. Whatever. Not my place to impose my beliefs on gender identity on someone else, and I'll respect a person's desire to be seen as "asexual" even if I don't agree with the notion of such a thing existing in humans.

I am attracted to women emotionally & sexually but none have been attracted to me so I gave up.

Sort of how I feel.

Why not? Do you have any particular reason to discount the experiences of others in this matter?

 

[Trekker4747]

Maybe just don't comment, then?

Sorry, didn't know I had to agree with something in order to comment on it.

I just don't feel it truly exists, at least not in the sense/terms people want to use it. Particularly when it comes to "asexual" since that word already means something and it isn't, "Meh. I have no real sexual interest in men or women."

I'm not saying people *can't* have no sexual interests, can't be indifferent to it, or whatever but I think that's just more chalked up to personality, mood, or whatever else than any genetic or brain condition like other sexual "alignments." (For want of a better term.)

But, if people want to consider themselves "asexual" or whatever, fine, go-ahead. I'll respect that. My dis-belief in it comes from nothing more than probably just not being educated enough about the concept of it in humans, not truly understanding what goes on in the mind of an "asexual" person and lack of exposure to it. I'm not going to say such people don't exist, I just don't think it's "asexuality" and just "sexually indifferent more-or-less by choice or conditioning."

Someone wants to consider themselves "asexual", I'll respect that and won't let my beliefs change my behavior towards them. No different than a belief in God or any other religious faction. I don't believe in it but I'm not going to use that to feel or think differently about the people who do believe in God or follow a religious faith. It's their choice and their experiences have led them down that path. It's not something I've experienced, and my experiences and world-weariness has eroded any chances at "faith" I may have had. Just because I don't believe it doesn't mean others can't and it doesn't mean that they should be treated any differently than anyone else.

 

[Pingfah]

For example, think about how you feel when you think of having sex with Margaret Thatcher. Perhaps not revulsion, but I would imagine a complete lack of sexual attraction? Now imagine you feel that way about everybody.

Is this her dead or alive? At her prime as the empress or just before she carked it?

Does it make any difference?

Sorry, didn't know I had to agree with something in order to comment on it.

I just don't feel it truly exists, at least not in the sense/terms people want to use it. Particularly when it comes to "asexual" since that word already means something and it isn't, "Meh. I have no real sexual interest in men or women."

I'm not saying people *can't* have no sexual interests, can't be indifferent to it, or whatever but I think that's just more chalked up to personality, mood, or whatever else than any genetic or brain condition like other sexual "alignments." (For want of a better term.)

But, if people want to consider themselves "asexual" or whatever, fine, go-ahead. I'll respect that. My dis-belief in it comes from nothing more than probably just not being educated enough about the concept of it in humans, not truly understanding what goes on in the mind of an "asexual" person and lack of exposure to it. I'm not going to say such people don't exist, I just don't think it's "asexuality" and just "sexually indifferent more-or-less by choice or conditioning."

This is basically the dictionary definition of prejudice. You have absolutely nothing to back up your beliefs other than sheer ignorance, and what is more you even admit to it, but still tout the same opinion.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

This is basically the dictionary definition of prejudice. You have absolutely nothing to back up your beliefs other than sheer ignorance, and what is more you even admit to it, but still tout the same opinion.

Yeah, pretty much. "I respect how you identify, but I just want you to know I don't believe it's valid and I think there is just something wrong with you."

 

[trekkiedane]

This is basically the dictionary definition of prejudice. You have absolutely nothing to back up your beliefs other than sheer ignorance, and what is more you even admit to it, but still tout the same opinion.

Yeah, pretty much. "I respect how you identify, but I just want you to know I don't believe it's valid and I think there is just something wrong with you."

I think we're perhaps dealing with an emotion rather than an opinion here.

 

[Pingfah]

What I don't understand is, if you already accept that sexual urges are driven by biology, why biology couldn't also be responsible for a lack of the same. It's utterly nonsensical.

Furthermore, we already can easily grasp what is in the mind of an asexual person to some extent. I don't fancy men, the idea of having sex with men does absolutely nothing for me, almost everybody will find a lack of sexual attraction to certain people. Why is it so difficult to extrapolate that feeling and apply it to everybody?

Why would somebody think that their not wanting sex with men has a genetic component, but an asexual not wanting sex with men or women doesn't?

 

[RAMA]

I've always applied the idea of not being attracted to the same sex to asexuals in order to understand it. It is a difficult concept though.

 

[Kestra]

Maybe just don't comment, then?

Sorry, didn't know I had to agree with something in order to comment on it.

I just don't feel it truly exists, at least not in the sense/terms people want to use it. Particularly when it comes to "asexual" since that word already means something and it isn't, "Meh. I have no real sexual interest in men or women."

I'm not saying people *can't* have no sexual interests, can't be indifferent to it, or whatever but I think that's just more chalked up to personality, mood, or whatever else than any genetic or brain condition like other sexual "alignments." (For want of a better term.)

But, if people want to consider themselves "asexual" or whatever, fine, go-ahead. I'll respect that. My dis-belief in it comes from nothing more than probably just not being educated enough about the concept of it in humans, not truly understanding what goes on in the mind of an "asexual" person and lack of exposure to it. I'm not going to say such people don't exist, I just don't think it's "asexuality" and just "sexually indifferent more-or-less by choice or conditioning."

Someone wants to consider themselves "asexual", I'll respect that and won't let my beliefs change my behavior towards them. No different than a belief in God or any other religious faction. I don't believe in it but I'm not going to use that to feel or think differently about the people who do believe in God or follow a religious faith. It's their choice and their experiences have led them down that path. It's not something I've experienced, and my experiences and world-weariness has eroded any chances at "faith" I may have had. Just because I don't believe it doesn't mean others can't and it doesn't mean that they should be treated any differently than anyone else.

It's pretty close-minded to discount other people's experiences like that though. I'd really suggest re-examining that belief of yours because it's pretty insulting and doesn't actually have anything to back it up.

I think that you're having a hard time separating your own experiences out as something totally different. Not having sex is not the same thing as asexuality. Not pursuing sex is not the same thing as asexuality.

You say that you won't treat people any differently but I'm not sure that has any real meaning here. You are basically telling people that identify with a sexual orientation "No, you are not what you think you are." That's treating them badly, right there. Think about other sexual orientations. Would you tell anyone else, gay or straight, "You are not what you think you are. It's not biological, it's just about what mood you are in and what opportunities you have." Of course you wouldn't! There's no reason for this to be any different, and as Pingfah pointed out it should be easier to understand. He expressed his point pretty well and I suggest re-reading it and thinking about it.

What I don't understand is, if you already accept that sexual urges are driven by biology, why biology couldn't also be responsible for a lack of the same. It's utterly nonsensical.

Furthermore, we already can easily grasp what is in the mind of an asexual person to some extent. I don't fancy men, the idea of having sex with men does absolutely nothing for me, almost everybody will find a lack of sexual attraction to certain people. Why is it so difficult to extrapolate that feeling and apply it to everybody?

Why would somebody think that their not wanting sex with men has a genetic component, but an asexual not wanting sex with men or women doesn't?

I'm not trying to start any sort of pile-on here, just trying to get through to you because you're an intelligent person and I feel like you haven't thought this through. Your experiences have nothing to do with people who are asexual. Their experiences do.

 

[iguana_tonante]

Asexuality, as in the lack of sexual attraction, is probably one of the most difficult things to understand for me. I'm an utterly sexual being.

I feel like I understand it pretty well, because I feel that there were periods of my life where it fit with my identity. It wasn't that sex was icky or bad, just that I never thought about it, unless I was forced to by ads/jokes/discussion/etc. It just wasn't a path of thought that even occurred to me. It became very annoying to watch TV and movies, or read the internet, because it seemed like everyone was so damn obsessed with something that was so insignificant to me. Sex pervades our society, and most probably don't notice on a daily basis since it is so natural to them, but it became super obvious to me when it was something that wasn't important to me.

This makes sense.

Furthermore, we already can easily grasp what is in the mind of an asexual person to some extent. I don't fancy men, the idea of having sex with men does absolutely nothing for me, almost everybody will find a lack of sexual attraction to certain people. Why is it so difficult to extrapolate that feeling and apply it to everybody?

I understand what you are saying, but even if I don't feel strongly attracted to men, I still relate with them on sexual terms. Are they hot? Are they attractive? Are they more attractive than me?

(Don't take me wrong: I am not particularly competitive with other men, and I feel perfectly comfortable around people that are way more attractive than me. When I was a teenager I used to hang around with guys on the Italian youth swimming team: I consider myself relatively good-looking but I'm still a bespectacled nerd. Those guys were tall, dark, and scorching hot. ). So in a way, sex is always on the back of my mind, even when I'm around people who I don't consider personally attractive.

Again, this is nothing against people who identify as asexual. The fact that it's kinda outside my own perspective doesn't absolutely mean that it doesn't exist or some other idiotic crap.

 

[Squiggy]

I am a hideous freak and life would be easier if I didn't have attraction sexually or emotionally to anyone.

That's the spirit! Women love that attitude.

 

[HIjol]

While it may be true that parts of life get complicated by sexual and/or emotional attraction, from time to time, it is NOT true that you are what you said in your Post. Not true at all.

 

[Guy Gardener]

I can almost tell the difference between the insides of a fanny (UK definition) and the insides a fanny (US definition), but if I shut my eyes, there is no difference between a blowjob from a clean shaven man and a blowjob from a woman.

Irrationally homophobic men who like to receive blow jobs from people with facial hair aren't left with a lot of options.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Face merkin. That's the answer.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Like in The Life of Brian?