It’s a moose!
All things RED Dwarf
- Thread starter Toril Toran
- Start date
Holly: Morning, Dave. I’ve finished your translation.
Lister: Who’s Cloister? Is it me?
Holly: Yes, Dave. The Cats have made you their God.
Lister: Working class kid makes good!
It’s a moose!
(That joke never gets old for me)
(That joke never gets old for me)
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Cop: How dense do you think I am?
Harmony: You really wanna know? Just divide your mass by your volume.
Harmony: You really wanna know? Just divide your mass by your volume.
15 Int. Starbug rear. Day.
Works of Shakespeare burning merrily on the fire. LISTER is at the table. He picks up the dog food can, spoons out a generous lump of dog food jelly, so it wobbles on his fork. RIMMER is watching him, appalled.
LISTER:
And you can take that look off your face: like I'm doing something disgusting. I'm just trying to stay alive.
RIMMER:
You're going to eat the dog food.
LISTER:
I haven't eaten for six days. Yes, I'm going to eat the dog food.
RIMMER:
I'm sure the dog food will be lovely.
LISTER:
This isn't dog food. It's a piece of prime fillet steak in blue cheese sauce. It's been charcoal broiled in garlic butter. Mmmmm. Just smell that. It's delicious. Delicious.
He pops it into his mouth and swallows it.
LISTER:
Well, now I know why dogs lick their testicles - it's to take away the taste of their food.
Works of Shakespeare burning merrily on the fire. LISTER is at the table. He picks up the dog food can, spoons out a generous lump of dog food jelly, so it wobbles on his fork. RIMMER is watching him, appalled.
LISTER:
And you can take that look off your face: like I'm doing something disgusting. I'm just trying to stay alive.
RIMMER:
You're going to eat the dog food.
LISTER:
I haven't eaten for six days. Yes, I'm going to eat the dog food.
RIMMER:
I'm sure the dog food will be lovely.
LISTER:
This isn't dog food. It's a piece of prime fillet steak in blue cheese sauce. It's been charcoal broiled in garlic butter. Mmmmm. Just smell that. It's delicious. Delicious.
He pops it into his mouth and swallows it.
LISTER:
Well, now I know why dogs lick their testicles - it's to take away the taste of their food.
Lister, not only are you so stupid you bring aboard an unquarantined animal and jeopardise every man and woman on this ship -- not only that -- but you take a photograph of yourself *with* the cat and send it to be processed in the ship's lab.
Why would Hollister say they are going to vivisect the cat? I can't think what use that would be on a mining ship so maybe he should have just said it would be euthanised.
Why would Hollister say they are going to vivisect the cat? I can't think what use that would be on a mining ship so maybe he should have just said it would be euthanised.
And isn't it dangerous for humans to eat dog food? There was a L&O ep where somebody did that and he ended up in the ER.
Well, if you hadn’t eaten in six days…
And if your only alternative was a smegging pot noodle
The L&O ep probably exaggerated a tad just to amp up the drama.
Mel Gibson ate real dog food in The Road Warrior and I don't think HE got sick.
But it did just hit me: Why was it illegal for Lister to bring a cat on board, but they have dog food laying around (anticipating there would in fact be dogs to feed)?
Mel Gibson ate real dog food in The Road Warrior and I don't think HE got sick.
But it did just hit me: Why was it illegal for Lister to bring a cat on board, but they have dog food laying around (anticipating there would in fact be dogs to feed)?
Presumably any applicable dogs had been properly quarantined and were cleared for travel. Rather than a stray kidnapped and smuggled aboard
Probably needed them for Floor 13…
Rimmer: “After intensive investigation (comma) of the markings on the alien pod (comma) it has become clear (comma) to me (comma) that we are dealing (comma) with a species of awesome intellect (colon)."
Holly: "Good. Perhaps they might be able to give you a hand with your punctuation."
Rimmer: “After intensive investigation (comma) of the markings on the alien pod (comma) it has become clear (comma) to me (comma) that we are dealing (comma) with a species of awesome intellect (colon)."
Holly: "Good. Perhaps they might be able to give you a hand with your punctuation."
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Lister: The red, green, and blue alert signs are all flashing! What the smeg is happening?
Kryten: Well, either we're under attack, sir, or we're having a disco.
Kryten: Well, either we're under attack, sir, or we're having a disco.
“Blue?! Let’s go to brown alert”
“There is no brown alert”
“You won’t be saying that in a minute!”
“There is no brown alert”
“You won’t be saying that in a minute!”
And don’t say I didn’t alert you!
One of my favourite lines from the short rouge one
One of my favourite lines from the short rouge one
LISTER falls to the floor on his back, writhing in pain.
LISTER: Help me, please! Please!!!
KRYTEN goes to his knees and begins to try removing LISTER's shorts.
RIMMER enters, and sees the goings-on from behind KRYTEN.
LISTER: (Still bouncing wildly) Please, I'm begging you! Get them off, man! Pull them down!
KRYTEN finally retrieves the shorts, and stands, holding them -- very small they are too. He puts them on LISTER's bunk.
RIMMER: Well, I can't say I'm totally shocked... You'll bonk anything, won't you, Lister!
LISTER: Help me, please! Please!!!
KRYTEN goes to his knees and begins to try removing LISTER's shorts.
RIMMER enters, and sees the goings-on from behind KRYTEN.
LISTER: (Still bouncing wildly) Please, I'm begging you! Get them off, man! Pull them down!
KRYTEN finally retrieves the shorts, and stands, holding them -- very small they are too. He puts them on LISTER's bunk.
RIMMER: Well, I can't say I'm totally shocked... You'll bonk anything, won't you, Lister!
Kryten: My goodness. I do believe I'm drunk. I suddenly feel the need... to strut my funky stuff.
I’m just trying to keep this thread alive. So here goes…
So what is it?
So what is it?
You mean they are not using the pedestrian crossings? They are not looking left and right? They are not looking to see if it is a little green man or a little red man? Of course they are not! They are mooses! Those Swedes expect too much!
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