Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the works

[stj]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

Well, I have a sense of humor and I can tell you this isn't funny, except in a laugh at people falling or laugh at how suprised they are when you call them names for no reason kind of way. Trying to pretend vampires are so evil you have to run around killing them while giving slavery a pass is just plain stupid. Slavery is as close to real vampirism as life gets. The book is a lot like True Blood, it doesn't realize that playing with the metaphor (vampirism) when the real thing (the genuine evil of slavery) is in the story substitutes a feebler image for a more powerful one. It is anti-art. (In True Blood, vampirism is the metaphor for homosexuality but the real thing is the gay characters.)

The author by the way tries to finesse the problem by turning the slavers into vampire protectors/employers/allies/etc. (I didn't read enough of that garbage to get the fine details, sue me.)

Vampires are not actually people, so that disposes of the objection the movie would turn Lincoln into a blood-soaked killer.

The idea that Lincoln really is some sort of blood-soaked killer is ludicrous. All we need is stuff about tyranny and violation of civil rights and we've got full-blown apologetics for slavery. Lincoln didn't start the Civil War.

 

[Goliath]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

I'd do it as a History Channel-style docu-drama. Show scenes of Lincoln killing vampires, but also have experts discussing it.

Heh. Or even do it in the style of Ken Burns' The Civil War, complete with the same music and narrator.

 

[Admiral_Young]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

Read the book.

 

[Char Aznable]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

Read the book.

This. The indignant soccor mom levels of butthurt I keep hearing is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Its just a fucking book, people.

 

[stj]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

I've had the book in hand, and read in it. Not the whole thing, no, because my taste is pretty unsophisticated but it's not that lame. The book is stupid, but you still can't laugh at it. This isn't baseball, it doesn't get three strikes.

 

[Skywalker]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

I'd do it as a History Channel-style docu-drama. Show scenes of Lincoln killing vampires, but also have experts discussing it.

Heh. Or even do it in the style of Ken Burns' The Civil War, complete with the same music and narrator.

That would be epic.

 

[Gaith]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

this film (which is obviously done for fun)

I don't give a rat's ass if you do or don't find it fun. But I don't really have to be the first to point out to you that entertainment value and artistic decency are two different measures, do I?

Lincoln was President of the United States during the Civil War...he had blood on his hands.

And to the extent that that's true, he agonized over it, and repeatedly begged for peace so long as the South ceased to challenge the legitimacy of federal sovereignty. Argue against that if you like, but I find it ironic that in a discussion of "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter", I'm the one being accused of distorting/simplifying history.

You are painting him out to be some kind of patron saint.

No, I'm calling for fair depictions of him, no more, no less.

Read the book.

I'm not going to read your juvenile crap. This is a discussion forum, so present your own case in your own words.

 

[Char Aznable]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

I don't give a rat's ass if you do or don't find it fun. But I don't really have to be the first to point out to you that entertainment value and artistic decency are two different measures, do I?

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! A BOOK WILL BE MADE INTO A FILM THAT I PERSONALLY DON'T THINK IS VERY NICE! THEREFORE, IT'S OBJECTIVELY BAD! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!


Besides, there is no such thing as artistic decency. An artist can create whatever he likes or discuss anything he likes. Anyone wants to get all butthurt and offended? They can go fuck themselves, IMO. They don't have to watch/read. /discussion.

I'm not going to read your juvenile crap. This is a discussion forum, so present your own case in your own words.

You haven't offered a worthwhile reason that this is a bad idea beyond, "I DUN LEIK IT!" So, I don't think you have a leg to stand on as far as discussion of this topic goes.

 

[Admiral_Young]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

I don't have a case to present since I'm in the middle of reading the book and finding out for myself how I feel about this project. I'm DISCUSSING your blanket reaction to something that for some reason you dislike without finding out about it for yourself. Here's the wiki summary for the book

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Lincoln:_Vampire_Hunter

 

[Greg Cox]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

Sounds like it could be fun, in a blackly comic, irreverent sort of way. I just hope it doesn't get in the way of Burton's plans to remake DARK SHADOWS. That's the movie I really want him to wait.

Last I heard, the author of the Abe Lincoln book was working on the script for the DARK SHADOWS reboot . . . .

 

[Gaith]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

I'm DISCUSSING your blanket reaction to something that for some reason you dislike without finding out about it for yourself. Here's the wiki summary for the book

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Lincoln:_Vampire_Hunter

Four paragraphs were enough to confirm all my prejudices. From that summary:

When Lincoln is eleven years old... he vows in his diary to kill as many vampires as he can. A year later he lures the vampire responsible for his mother's death to the family farm and manages to kill it with a homemade stake.

Great. A bloodthirsty child Lincoln.

At the age of sixteen.... Henry sends Lincoln the names and addresses of evil vampires; Abraham dutifully tracks them down and kills them.

Lincoln the lawyer, the man of principle, the exceedingly gentle in all personal dealings, tracking down and killing sentient beings without trial or involvement with law authorities. Lovely.

Lincoln writes in his diary his belief that vampires will continue to exist in America as long as they can easily buy their victims in this manner - to end slavery is to end the scourge of vampires.

<gag>

Lincoln becomes an Abolitionist.

Which he never actually was until military necessity mandated his de facto becoming so.


This is insulting juvenile tripe, plain and simple.

 

[Admiral_Young]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

You have voiced your views on this clearly...you won't be seeing the film or reading the book, fine. I will post my own thoughts after I finish reading...being a fan of alternate universes I was intrigued enough to go and check out the book from the library and so far it's captured my interest enough to continue reading it.

 

[Saga]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

i don't understand all the hate for this book. its fiction. if anything i would think it would get people interested in history. some kid watches the movie, reads the book and wants to know what the real Lincoln was like. becomes interested in history. i don't think the book in any way diminishes what Lincoln did.

 

[Gaith]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

i don't think the book in any way diminishes what Lincoln did.

Of course it doesn't. It couldn't if it tried.

if anything i would think it would get people interested in history. some kid watches the movie, reads the book and wants to know what the real Lincoln was like. becomes interested in history.

Or, just as plausibly, sees the movie and concludes that, since it doesn't have vampire slayings and gross-out humor, actual history is too boring to bother with.

 

[Saga]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

i find actual history to be far more interesting, but that's just me. i love history and enjoy alternate history books, even absurd and outrageous ones like Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter.

 

[LitmusDragon]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

I heartily endorse anything this absurd coming out of the Hollywood studio system.

The backlash against this film seems a little ridiculous, it's parody folks.

 

[Admiral_Young]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

It's just Gaith that has such a hard line stance against it...

 

[God Magnus]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

Sounds like fun to me. I'd rather see something like this that is outright parody than a movie trying to masquerade as fact but present only half truths. ::

 

[stj]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

Lincoln was an abolitionist, a quite determined one. But he was above all else a lawyer. The Constitution did not permit the abolition of slavery. His commitment to the law demanded that abolition of slavery wait until there was legal authority to do so. That meant ending Southern control of the national government, which meant restricting the expansion of slavery. It was his adamantine commitment to that which led to the Southern revolt.

The author of the book incorporates bits of real historical documents in a coherent fashion. Somebody said a hack is someone who does well what shouldn't be done at all. It's moronic tripe like this that makes that definition seem true.

 

[Greg Cox]

Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

Sounds like fun to me. I'd rather see something like this that is outright parody than a movie trying to masquerade as fact but present only half truths. ::

Yeah, I doubt that anyone is going to think this is a documentary!

Then again, who knows? Maybe some people think MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL is historically accurate ... .