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A question. Not sure how to interpet this....

And, well, as always I'm afraid of rejection and getting hurt. The last one hurt, really bad as those around here who know likely are aware.

Yes, being rejected sucks. No one likes that, but it shouldn't be something you feel bad about for years if you were never in a relationship to begin with.

But how does not trying feel? Not great, right? So, you can either take the (what should be temporary) hurt of a rejection while at least feeling satisfied that you made the attempt, or you can take the long term bitter sting of regret for never even trying.

Personally, I'd rather try and get rejected than not try at all.

Several years ago when she first started at the store she was about 18 and I was... 23? I think? Anyway, one of my co-workers asked her if she'd say yes to me asking her out. (He did this without my consent or knowledge on his own accord in trying to help me get "back in the game) and she said she would. Unfortuantly, at that time I wasn't ready and from my prespective she would've been too young. (Yeah, she's the same number of years younger than me now but 25 is a lot different than 18.)

Dude, you wonder why she sarcastically says "Yeah, that'll happen" when this has been going on for "several years"? She's been open to the idea for years, and when it was brought up again she was still open to the idea judging by the fact that she didn't put a stop to the conversation, and you still won't make a move. She's pretty much resigned to the fact that it's not gonna happen.

And what I'm afraid of is that if she says no then that's a -borrowing from Seinfeld here- that's a pretty big matzo ball out there and may damage any acquaintance/friendship we have now.

That's just making another excuse not to try.

First off, if she's been talking about potentially dating you in positive terms more than once and then gets offended when you finally do ask her out, than she's just messing with you and wasn't worth dating to begin with. This is not to say she can't say no obviously, but she shouldn't be offended by the question if it was ever a serious possibility.

If she stops hanging out with you because you asked her out, than she was never truly your friend to begin with, and was just a polite work acquaintance. Real friends get over minor bits of awkwardness and don't stop hanging out over essentially being paid a compliment by being asked out on a date.

Hell, it sounds like several people in the store already know about it anyway, so there's probably already awkwardness at the fact that you won't ask her. It sounds like they're even trying to help you out and give you an "in" on multiple occasions, but you never follow through.

Bottom line: Go for it.

I just want to tell you "good luck, we're all counting on you."

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmHeP9Sve48[/yt]
 
The secret to asking a girl out is to realise that it doesn't matter if she says no. It's her loss, not yours.

That's why jerks get all the good ones. Because they don't care. If they get rejected, they keep trying until a girl doesn't reject them.
 
I'm not a scientist or anything I would interpret that as 'no'.

So would I

She's a rude fucking bitch.
:eek:

I think you need to elaborate.... But the second remark doesn't look good.

:bolian:

Sounds like she's not worth persuing.

I can relate I asked a girl I thought I knew well enough to ask out, i never got a straight answer, I did hear her say "I like him but I don't want to hurt him"

Well guess what?
but that's all in the past and I'm past her and still looking. but we're still friends.
 
Wait, you asked her out and she responded with that?

I didn't directly ask her out, merely sort of in a conversation between her, myself, and a third party in a casual manner suggested that I might ask her out at some point.

From her "response" I did get the impression that either she didn't realize you were asking her out or that you had in fact NOT asked her out. I see it's the latter.

In this light, I wouldn't take it necessarily as rude, maybe more exasperation. I mean, why would you announce that maybe, perhaps someday you might deign to ask her out. Her response is pretty logical in that context, gee, is it supposed to make her day that you might consider asking her out?!

Just ask her out! To be blunt, you're really screwing this up with all of the rigamarole!

Mr Awe
 
Anyway, one of my co-workers asked her if she'd say yes to me asking her out. (He did this without my consent or knowledge on his own accord in trying to help me get "back in the game) and she said she would. Unfortuantly, at that time I wasn't ready and from my prespective she would've been too young. (Yeah, she's the same number of years younger than me now but 25 is a lot different than 18.

All right, this makes it totally clear. She might've had a thing for you 7 freaking years ago, going by your numbers. That's a long wait. Hence her comment now. She would've definitely said yes back then. Now, who knows. After 7 years I wouldn't be surprised if she lost it. You may have missed the boat bud.

I need therapy.

I don't know if you need therapy or not. But, you do need to use your fricking head. This is pretty obvious. She got fed up with waiting for you to man up despite have a guaranteed "yes"!! Holy cow! There's no deep mysterious message her. It's straight forward. And, man up about asking women out!

Mr Awe
 
In this light, I wouldn't take it necessarily as rude, maybe more exasperation. I mean, why would you announce that maybe, perhaps someday you might deign to ask her out. Her response is pretty logical in that context, gee, is it supposed to make her day that you might consider asking her out?!

Just ask her out! To be blunt, you're really screwing this up with all of the rigamarole!

Mr Awe

It's like he's trying to dip his feet into the pool to test the water out. It doesn't work like that though. You gotta dive in headfirst. Accept that fact that sometimes the waters cold, other times the pool's empty you head up faceplanting in the concrete.

If you never man-up and take risks, you'll never achieve anything.

That's why jerks get all the good ones. Because they don't care. If they get rejected, they keep trying until a girl doesn't reject them.

Wait, so that makes me a jerk because I don't give up, tuck my tail between my legs and be all defeated? Nice logic.
 
And, well, as always I'm afraid of rejection and getting hurt. The last one hurt, really bad as those around here who know likely are aware.

Pain of action and pain of inaction. You're living in the latter, worried about what might happen and pissing and moaning about it when it does. Get out of your head and into the world.

She's known you for 7 years? She's familiar with your act and knows that no matter how big you talk, you'll never pull the trigger.

I just don't know. And what I'm afraid of is that if she says no then that's a -borrowing from Seinfeld here- that's a pretty big matzo ball out there and may damage any acquaintance/friendship we have now.

I used to think that way. Even used that logic to not take a friendship to a romantic level in college. Guess what? Coming up on 20 years now I haven't seen or heard from her. And I lost the chance for something else with her.

Quit thinking about it, ask her out and see where it goes. But of course you'll read all the posts telling you to do just that and rationalize your way out of it and then wonder why you're so miserable.

Why don't you, to borrow another Seinfeld reference, live your life opposite? Worked out well for George, if I remember.
 
I was somewhere yesterday and somebody said something, then another person said something else.

What do you guys think? Should I be worried?
 
Here's what I don't understand, Trekker. You've had a girlfriend, or maybe two before, why does it always seem like you have NO experience with women at all.

Not judging, just confused.
 
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