‘This Ain’t Star Trek XXX’ film

[jefferiestubes8]

‘This Ain’t Star Trek XXX’ film Trek website review

The German website Trekzone has what looks like a review of it up:
http://www.trekzone.de/content/dt/n...dere-neue-film-im-mai-star-trek-der-porno.htm

May 22, 2009​

[no nude photos of video.]

I used Google Translate

The "story" of the film is the classic episode "The Sleeping Tiger" lookalike.

English Title
#24 Space Seed

German Title
The Sleeping Tiger

Who knew that the German TOS had different titles?


If you are interested here are the rest:

Episode titles. Sometimes the titles are humorously mistranslated...
3a. TOS-German.

No. English Title German Title
---------------------------------------------------------------------
# 1 The Cage [never shown in Germany]
# 2 Where No Man Has Gone Before Tip Of The Iceberg
# 3 The Corbomite Maneuver Poker Games
# 4 Mudd's Women The Women Of Mr. Mudd
# 5 The Enemy Within Kirk : 2 = ?
# 6 The Man Trap The Last Of Its Kind
# 7 The Naked Time Implosion In The Spiral
# 8 Charlie X The Charlie Case
# 9 Balance Of Terror Spock Under Suspicion
#10 What Are Little Girls Made Of? The Ancient Dream
#11 Dagger Of The Mind The Central Nervous System
Manipulator
#12 Miri Miri, A Small One
#13 The Conscience Of The King Kodos, The Executioner
#14 The Galileo Seven Emergency Landing On Galileo 7
#15 Court-Martial Kirk on Trial
#16 The Menagerie Talos IV - Taboo
#17 Shore Leave Shore Leave
#18 The Squire Of Gothos Deadly Games On Gothos
#19 Arena Totally New Dimensions
#20 The Alternative Factor On The Razor's Edge
#21 Tomorrow Is Yesterday Tomorrow Is Yesterday
#22 The Return Of The Archons Landru And Eternity
#23 A Taste Of Armageddon War Of The Computers
#24 Space Seed The Sleeping Tiger
#25 This Side Of Paradise False Paradises
#26 The Devil In The Dark Horta Saves Her Children
#27 Errand Of Mercy Fight For Organia
#28 The City On The Edge Of Forever Grab Into History
#29 Operation: Annihilate! Spock Out Of Control
#30 Catspaw The Haunted Castle In Space
#31 Metamorphosis Metamorphosis
#32 Friday's Child In The Name Of The Young Tiru
#33 Who Mourns For Adonais The Temple Of Apollon
#34 Amok Time Space Fever
#35 The Doomsday Machine Planet Killer
#36 Wolf In The Fold Wolf In The Fold
#37 The Changeling My Name Is Nomad
#38 The Apple The Time Of Understanding
#39 Mirror, Mirror A Parallel Universe
#40 The Deadly Years How Fast Time Passes
#41 I, Mudd The Conditioned Ruled
#42 The Trouble With Tribbles Do You Know Tribbles?
#43 Bread And Circuses Bread And Circuses
#44 Journey To Babel Journey To Babel
#45 A Private Little War The First War
#46 The Gamesters Of Triskelion Master Of Slaves
#47 Obsession Deadly Clouds
#48 The Immunity Syndrome The Hole In Space
#49 A Piece Of The Action Epigones
#50 By Any Other Name Stone And Dust
#51 Return To Tomorrow Mind Seeks Body
#52 Patterns Of Force [never shown in Germany]
#53 The Ultimate Computer Computer M5
#54 The Omega Glory The Year Of The Red Bird
#55 Assignment: Earth A Planet Called Earth
#56 Spectre Of The Gun Wild West In Space
#57 Elaan Of Troyius Bride Ship Enterprise
#58 The Paradise Syndrome The Obelisk
#59 The Enterprise Incident The Invisible Trap
#60 And The Children Shall Lead Course For Markus 12
#61 Spock's Brain Spock's Brain
#62 Is There In Truth No Beauty? The Strange Matter
#63 The Empath The Plan Of The Vians
#64 The Tholian Web The Spider Web
#65 For The World Is Hollow And I The Misdirected Planet
Have Touched The Sky
#66 The Day Of The Dove The Balance Of Power
#67 Plato's Stepchildren Plato's Stepchildren
#68 Wink Of An Eye What's Humming There?
#69 That Which Survives Dangerous Planet Girls
#70 Let That Be Your Last Bele Hunts Lokai
Battlefield
#71 Whom Gods Destroy Whom Gods Destroy
#72 The Mark Of Gideon Almost Immortal
#73 The Lights Of Zetar Rays Attack
#74 The Cloudminders The Cloud City
#75 The Way To Eden The Journey To Eden
#76 Requiem For Methuselah Planet Of The Immortals
#77 The Savage Curtain Since There Is Men
#78 All Our Yesterdays Gate To The Past
#79 Turnabout Intruder Dangerous Exchange

Another fitting addition to this list is "Star Trek V":
The Final Frontier At The Edge Of The Universe

[From: Stefan_Radermacher@k.maus.de (Stefan Radermacher)]
http://rec.horus.at/trek/lists/language.txt

The German Trekzonesite is here:
http://www.trekzone.de/content/dt/index.htm

 

[Too Much Fun]

I like how they had to come up with a different title for "Balance of Terror", but they translate "Day of the Dove" into "Balance of Power". The best translation is "Devil in the Dark", which actually gives away the big plot twist and the ending of the episode in its title!

 

[SmackRacer]

Looks like you can only get it through streaming video off the site now. I can't find anywhere to buy the DVD from Hustler's website.

 

[Maurice]

Looks like you can only get it through streaming video off the site now. I can't find anywhere to buy the DVD from Hustler's website.

Just google it like...
"this ain't star trek" blu-ray
...(use the quotes). You'll find it.

 

[jefferiestubes8]

I admit this set on SS Botany Bay of the life units does not look exactly like the set from TOS "Space Seed" but it gives the general layout and serves the purpose.

Has anyone else seen the non-sex feature and can to comment or do a review?

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

I finally caught this. I pretty much just skimmed it - the sex is very generic porn sex (though the performers are in the main physically attractive enough) and at the length of this feature I find that kind of staging tedious to sit through - but at least the main actors really give the dialogue and characterization their (limited) best. The sets are pretty simple - the fact that so many folks have asked "are those the 'New Voyages' sets is revealing about the extent to which getting the generalities of stage layout, color etc pretty close is sufficient to satisfy most viewers.

All in all, a fun and surprisingly sincere video that works about as well as most reasonably ambitious fan films. Uh, but with tits and stuff.

 

[ManOnTheWave]

Re: ‘This Ain’t Star Trek XXX’ film

How many nanoseconds do you think Paramount's lawyers took before sending out a Cease & Desist letter?

They didn't do anything about the 2 billion Sex Trek movies that were made.

I believe in the past, they could get away with it by 1) not saying 'Star Trek' and 2) not using or obscuring signs, sigils etc. I remember one of those movies where the cast wore the tunics that were for sale in costume shops but obscured the delta patches by pinning condoms over them. At some point, one of Hustler's lawyers figured out you could get away with using the title of a popular tv show by calling the video "This Ain't..." which makes me laugh quite a bit.

 

[Skywalker]

Re: ‘This Ain’t Star Trek XXX’ film

Yeah, they've been doing a lot of those lately. "Not The Bradys," "Not Bewitched," etc.

Or so I've heard.

 

[OmahaStar]

So ... how come the guys are all ugly and old? The only guy that's remotely good looking is the one playing Scotty, and he's only in two of the linked pictures. Aren't people in porn supposed to be ridiculously good looking and have tremendously long schlongs? Not counting that hedgehog guy in the straight porns, that is.

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

Re: ‘This Ain’t Star Trek XXX’ film

Aren't people in porn supposed to be ridiculously good looking and have tremendously long schlongs

Only on Bizarro World. Slender with fake books and not facially deformed is the entry-level requirement for most straight porn; the girls are not expected to have schlongs, long or otherwise. The main requirement for guys is physical reliability, though Viagra has probably made that easier.

 

[jefferiestubes8]

Over the last year, Hustler Video Group has without much fanfare trotted out a parade of titles derived from classic TV shows, including the recently released parody "This Ain't Star Trek XXX." All the meticulous little details are there, with the exception of moments (spoiler alert!) like the one where Kirk, Spock and Uhura engage in three-way stress-relieving exercise on the bridge, which for whatever reason wasn't included in J.J. Abrams' franchise reboot.

There are stories, plots and even sex-free versions to accentuate the parody-- however incongruous that might sound -- on Blu-ray editions.

According to Thill, Hustler did contact William Shatner to inquire if he would provide DVD commentary for the "Star Trek" spoof, but the actor politely declined.

hilarious!



Jun. 30, 2009
http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118005547.html?categoryid=1682&cs=1

 

[jefferiestubes8]

review

a customer review


review:

Hustler has done about ten of these parodies now, and while some of them are great fun, a few of them have been plagued by bad casting and a lack of sex. Thankfully there's none of that here in what might be there best work yet. Jenna Haze, Sasha Grey, and Aurora Snow are three of the absolute dirtiest girls in porn, and this film uses them nicely in a plot that makes sense and pays tribute to the original show. ...... the plot is something that any fan of the series will love. I couldn't possibly recommend this any higher!
Submitted by Charles (Philadelphia) 4 out of 5 stars

(no nudity at link)
http://www.cduniverse.com/productinfo.asp?pid=7935434&style=ice

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

I will say that the writers were reasonably inventive about incorporating as much Trek trivia and continuity into the storyline and dialogue as possible.

I worked at a newsstand in the 1977-1980 time period, and I must say few if any of the slick-paper "adult" magazines available in the U.S. in those years escaped my break-time perusal - my recollection is that Hustler did a print layout of a (soft core) sex scene between "Spock" and "Uhura" that featured them on a replica of part of the TOS bridge set. Their uniforms - what there were of them - bore very different insignia from the Trek chevron. This was a month or two after ST:TMP opened - I've never seen or heard of the feature again.

 

[JuanBolio]

I have this one! Pretty good flick - the guy who plays Kirk is the same guy who played the pirate hunter captain in Pirates, and is of course hilarious in the role.

Good porno. As a facial aficionado, I thought most of the cumshots could have been better, though the double blast that Spock and Kirk give to Uhura at the end was definitely top-notch.

 

[Cakes488]

Is it possible that they could of maybe gotten uglier "actors" to *ahem* act out these parts?

The men are all absolutely unattractive...and I'm being very nice there.

 

[jefferiestubes8]

tech specs review

in this Blu-ray version 1080p

the extras were included on the single disc, some of them (like the BTS) in 1080i high definition,
a 45:53 minute long Behind the Scenes feature.

while others, like the bonus scenes, included in 480p

The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital English with a 224 Kbps audio bitrate

DVD version

The standard definition version of the flick had a few compression artifacts, only a bit of noise & edge enhancement,

from xcritic.com's review

 

[Sovay]

I can't believe they took one of the best titles (City on the Edge of Forever) and turned it into "grab into history" wtf, seriously, lol.

As for the porno... I want to see it, but then again, I really really don't... lol
Like some other people I'd like to see it with all the porn edited out Not that I have anything against porn, it's just sort of creepy when it's star trek!

 

[JuanBolio]

Is it possible that they could of maybe gotten uglier "actors" to *ahem* act out these parts?

The men are all absolutely unattractive...and I'm being very nice there.

Well, porn studios have got to figure that most people who watch these movies (men) won't be looking at the guy's faces. Also, they needed dudes who vaguely resembled the original actors.

 

[jefferiestubes8]

sequel

they needed dudes who vaguely resembled the original actors.

The sets will be used again for a sequel.

"We're going to keep them all as standing sets," Braun informed, "because we'll be using them again for at least one sequel, as well as webisodes, promotional shots, etc."

And they will probably cast characters from 'classic missions' just like the writers for Star Trek XII are currently considering for plotlines.

 

[T'Girl]

Re: sequel

Navigator_NCC2120

http://www.avn.com/galleries/1241/31878/Here

Is that your eugenics war or are you just happy to see me?

I've seen a few of these and the sets are no worst that some fan productions. Tell you the truth, sex is semi-lame. One segment with the nurse Chaple charactor does stand out, but that's the exception