TNG Caption This! 338: I accidentally skipped #337

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! Winners Time!

First up to the plate, we have the "Some things never change" award, going to:

Windows 2367: Federation Blue Screen Of Death.

Next, we have the "Uncontrollable" Award, going to:

Picard: Don't be embarrassed, commander, most new arrivals on the Enterprise piddle on the bridge at least once.

Next, we have the "Cliffhanger" Award, going to:

TRICORDER READING: To Be Continued...
DATA (thinking): NOOOOO! I hate it when they do that!

Next, we have the "Where's Geordi when you need him?" Award, going to:

Picard: Ah... I see Ensign, but shouldn't you be handing this to someone who works down here?

Next, we have the "Music cues" Award, going to:

Worf: Computer, play Stayin' Alive.

Loved ALL of the Photoshops this week! Couldn't choose, They're all winners!

Riker: Since Netflix put Red Is the New Gold offline, we can try this new season of Arrested Developpment, sir.
Worf: Sir, I must protest! Ferengi comedy is wihout honor. House of Kor would be a more appropriate choice.

WORF: Due to a technical difficulty, all our communications will be delivered as a puppet show.

And, this next one gets some extra style points for shopping the desk reflection. Awesome stuff!

Picard: Somehow, watching this episode in standard definition just doesn't cut it anymore...

Data: Second Officer's Log: I have finished my survey in milliseconds, but the humans are taking too long. Therefore, I am engaging in sleep mode until these hairless apes take their sweet-ass time to figure out that it was the Borg.

Stewart: Aw, that's sweet. Take this back to Rick and tell him this offer could do with a lot more zeros in it if he wants me to stay.

Bloke: But it's already got a lot of zeros in it.

Stewart: Good point, maybe a few more numbers in front of them then? Unless he really thinks "Captain Riker" will work.

Congrats to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated! Now, I changed something last contest. Anybody know what it was?

And now, the new contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

La Forge: Hold my hand, someone!

Riker: Flip for it? Loser has to hold his hand?

Worf: After thorough investigation, we can not determine who sent you these flowers.

Picard: Did you read the card, Lieutenant?

Worf: Dang, we're always late to brawl night at Ten Forward.

Picard: Admiral, you've been sitting in my chair for hours. Get off my ship.

The moment so many fans had waited for, and Patrick Stewart totally sleep walked though the scene.

 

[Nerys Myk]

LA FORGE: Stop rocking my chair, I'm about to hurl.

PICARD: So gentlemen, candy and flowers or just flowers?

WORF: Do you really think we're the best people to give you relationship advice?

DORN: We just can't leave the stunt men alone for a minute, can we?

PICARD: I hope you're not planning to take advantage of me in this condition.

CRUSHER: Nope

PICARD: oh.

 

[bbjeg]

Picard: And the winner for best gold shirt is...

Riker: I'm telling you, the crew got over the Borg rather wel...
Worf: Sure they did.

Picard: °* I coulda had a few more Bevs. *°¤
Beverly: You punched Riker in the face.
Picard: *hic* That lil piss has been gunning for my seat shince day one. *°*
Beverly: You need to sleep.
Picard: * I know what you need baby. °*¤
Beverly: ... Strip, doctors orders.

---------------
And now the conclusion:
---------------

Picard: And the winner for best gold shirt is... O'brien, who want to take him his award?

 

[Finn]

PICARD: So gentlemen, candy and flowers or just flowers?

WORF: Do you really think we're the best people to give you relationship advice?

Picard: Right- you fell for two ladies who ended up getting murdered by crazies who sold out their respective empires.

 

[Nebusj]

LaForge: ``Whoa, hey, the 'Check Engine' light just came on, what do we do?''
Data: ``The Captain informed me the procedure is to pop the air hose off the catalytic converter just before we go in for inspection and reattach it after we pass.''

``Yes, Lieutenant Worf, I shall be proud to accompany you to the prom.''

``Hey! Who told everybody they could be kung-fu fighting?''

``This may be our most serious situation yet, Admiral. They're filming us in a crane shot. They never take us out of eye-level two-shots.''

It was fun, but now Dr Crusher has to deflate and fully clean her Picard blow-up doll.

 

[Avro Arrow]

Thank you, Lead-Nosed Reindeer!

Riker: ...so then the next morning, I saw Ensign Monroe coming out of Ensign Carlyle's quarters!
Troi: Really? Those two? I never would have thought...
LaForge: Um, could you two focus for a minute? Shields at 20%, and the Warbird is circling for another attack run!

Worf: Sir... I believe you may have misunderstood when we asked if you had any "good weed".

Riker: What happened here, Lieutenant?
Worf: I still do not understand it, sir. It all started when somebody asked, "Who's better: Kirk or Picard?"

Lal: OOoooo! I am a ghost! I am coming for you, Admiral Haftel. You must leave this ship at once!
Haftel: She knows I'm not falling for that a second time, right?

 

[Triskelion]

Geordi: Ok I'm nearly into the Captain's logs. Now it's asking for his password.
Riker: Try "Eline."
Geordi: Nope.
Data: Try "ChateauPicard."
Geordi: Nope.
Riker: Try "Fourlights27."
Geordi: That's it, we're in.
Troi: Oh give me a break!

 

[Mistral]

Picard: "So, in light of the fuss over GMOs, I've decided to change the standard rations to something more natural."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "You have to admit, Admiral, as androids go, Lal is a bit of a cutie!"
Haftel: "Bah! She's just a kid! You should Google James Kirk's historical logs for 'Exo III' sometime!"

 

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks ftw Mr. Lead [Changable Full Name] Sir! Also for the previous contest as I forgot to do so last time.

Burton: Maybe we should just put her in a proper uniform rather than go to all these strange lengths to cover up her camel toe?

Picard: It may not seem it gentlemen, but flowers like these got me many a fine woman. The flowers and a bottle of meths.

Worf: Humans brawl like big girls blouses.

Picard: Actually, Data gave up on the whole android project after being distracted by his new hobby, giant shadow puppets.

Beverly: ...I think what you should have done is gotten me to drink the meths. Nice flowers though.

 

[Armored Saint]

Medical log: As that already happened seventeen years ago, a bad interpreation of Halmet thrown Captain Picard to dementia. Hopefully, I know it's easy to treat with the Wesley procedure.

Riker: What the hell is that?
Worf: They're the without honor actors who played so badly this great Klingon tragedy.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MR. GREY: Not in the face! Not in the face!!

 

[Mojochi]

Thanks for the pick

Riker: Remind me later to speak to the captain about reassigning this awful helmsman. I'm not even sure he can see

Data: Catching them apparently means you are the next bride to be, Sir

Worf: Apart from the guys about to make out, on my left, it's the best birthday party you're ever thrown me

Picard: Privately means all the way out of the room, if you please #1

Picard: Either the inertial dampers are offline, or there's some extra kick in Aunt Adele's hot milk toddy recipe

 

[T'Girl]

Worf: "The rabbit-punches, groan-kicks and thrown-chairs I understand ... but the two men to my left quietly exchanging nipple-twists leaves me feeling confused."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Haftel: "I'm not insinuating anything, Jean Luc. I'm simply noting that you have an awful lot of pastel colors and potted plants on your ship."

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Relax Admiral, it's not like Data has created some sort of monster.

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: Stand down, everybody. She was just approaching the viewsreen, not the helm.

Troi: Hey!

Picard: These flowers will have Beverly spending the next two weeks flat on her back with her legs wide open.

Data: Can she not replicate a vase?

Worf: Finally! Some manly warrior action! What started it?
Riker: They're trying to decide who gets to dress as a geisha at Keiko's wedding.

Picard: Sideboob.
Admiral: <turns>

Picard: An enema? In this day and age?
Beverly: Gotta have something for the Christmas newsletter.

 

[T'Girl]

Data: "Pulling the flower's out of your sleeve was interesting Captain, but less so than pulling the tribble of a hat."

Worf: "I did not care for the tribble trick."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

The first time Geordi got caught browsing porn on his console at work.

PICARD: Data, Geordi, Worf, meet Commander Parn from the Shrubbery planet. He will be our new chief science officer.

BLUESHIRT: That's Wesley! That's Wesley! That's Wesley! SO MANY WESLEYS!

ADMIRAL HARTFEL: Yes Jean Luc, I know you helped establish that Data was a person with individual rights. That's why we are summarily taking his daughter away from him without appeal, just like we would do for ANY human being!

BEVERLY: I told you to stay away from Commander Riker's holoprograms!