DS9 Caption Contest 82; Out of Luck

[Ln X]

Good job with the last caption contest folks! And now onto the next one.

Jadzia: Getting residual vibes from Counselor Troi again Worf?
Worf: Commander Riker has grown...a goatee.

Kasidy: Hey honey wake up! Doctor Bashier got that bowel obstruction out!

Sisko: You're never cooking again!

Weyoun: I must admit, you are a worthy opponent, Major, but face facts, the Founders in their infinite wisdom made the Vorta with the ability to go days without blinking. It's only a matter of time before I win this staring contest.

Dax: I mean I was a guy a few times.
Kira: It's still gay.

Quark: You know Commander, your Ferderation legal system makes this too easy. This fascist has never read me my rights or gotten me a lawyer. Why do you think I'm back without any legal hassle every week?

WEYOUN: You must tell me one day, Major Kira, what it is like to bang a God.

The photoshop award goes to:

KIRA: Next time we shouldn't wait till the last minute to find Halloween costumes.

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For this caption contest the theme is 'running out of luck'. Now, here are the pictures...

Good luck and have fun!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kirayoshi (thinking): Meh. Klingon opera hurts, but at least he's not singing that damn Vapors song every 30 seconds.

 

[Ln X]

Sisko: Chief do me a favour; fit some restraints on these seats. I'm sick of being thrown forwards every time the dampers go ticky.

Bashir: Come on Nog, that ain't real gold!

Worf: And now comes the battle in the domestic front.

Garak: So how would like to depart from this life? With a blaze of glory or scared senseless?
Quark: Blaze of glory?

Klingon: You filthy PetaQ! You stole my blood wine! And what do you have to say for yourself?
Morn: ...

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Klingons: No, no, no, you don't understand, Morn! Here is the church and HERE is the steeple!

 

[Finn]

Worf:...Squirmy, smelly and whiny. Just like his father

 

[JirinPanthosa]

O'BRIEN: Huh. Well I guess Bashir did say that the daredevil rescue only had a 0.046% chance of working.
SISKO: Yeah. But I'm used to that meaning it's a sure thing.
O'BRIEN: Okay. Let's scrape him off the hull.

NOG: You want it? They're my baby horns.
DAX: You're kidding right? Ferengi don't have...
NOG: Have you seen any child Ferengi before?
DAX: Oh. Umm...five strips?
NOG: Sold.

Worf confesses his undying love for the ninth Dax host.

GARAK: I'm glad you could meet me here Quark. I have a special mission and you're the only one I trust.
QUARK: stupidhumandoctor.com again?
GARAK: I have some fresh Bashir quotes, and they can never be traced back to me.

ODO: Is Morn...vomiting latinum?
KLINGON: Ha! I win the drinking contest!

 

[R. Star]

Thanks for the win!

O'brien: I'm detecting subspace interference ahead. This could be dangerous.
Kira: This is just like the accident that caused Keiko to have to give me your baby, Miles.
Sisko: I don't know what we're going to do with the baby if it happens again.
Kira & Obrien: That's not funny!

Bashir: A holosuite program with the pleasure goddess of Rixx?
Dax: He'll take it.
Bashir: But...
Nog: Don't worry, it's an adaptive program. You can program her to look like anyone you want.
Bashir: Anyone? Thanks Jadzia...
Dax: Not me!
Bashir: Why not?
Nog: I have. Setting Nog-42, Doctor.

Worf: I have to play midwife to his first baby, then babysit his second. There is no end to my dishonor.

Quark: A type three Cardassian phaser, survival suit, rocket pack, a time wrist apparatus with a grapple and laser, and a foreign sports shuttle? What are you doing?
Garak: It's important to maintain a high level of fashion if you want your business to excel.

Krax: I lost the drinking contest to this petaQ?! I am dishonored. I demand a rematch.
Odo: I'm afraid Quark banned you from returning given how often and excessively you emptied your bowels there.

 

[shivkala]

TFTW!

Kira: What a silly song!

O'Brien: Hey, "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall," is a classic roadtrip song.

Kira: I much prefer the Bajoran version: "99 Cardassian soliders on the wall, 99 Cardassian soldiers, take a thermal grenade and toss it at them, no more Cardassian soldiers on the wall!"

Nog: Wow, you two are horny. Get it? Oh, wait, I forgot I was talking about you, Doctor. Of course you don't get it.

Dax: And he never will...

Worf: I do not understand this human trait of coddling babies. If Yoshi were a Klingon, we would throw him to the Targs. If he is a true warrior, he will survive. If not, then the Targs get a special dinner!

Garak: Fine, another 10 bars of gold pressed latinum if you'll keep quiet.

Quark: A pleasure doing business with you, Garak, and enjoy the Cardassian hair gel!

Garak: Damn it, Quark, I told you I don't want anyone to know the secret to my luscious head of Cardassian hair.

Klingons: Take everything we have, just shut up!
Odo: Alright Morn, come on, we've talked about the noise complaints form your incessent yapping. We've had long talks about that particular bad habit if yours. Don't make me put you in solitary!

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Maybe the Chief won't notice the ridges.

KLINGON: Here's all the latinum I have, now please shut up!

 

[Triskelion]

Thanks Ln X!

O'Brien: Sorry I touched your radio, sir. You're not really going to go back in time and kill the Beach Boys - are you?

Bashir: I'm barred by Human Code to tell any Ferengi what we use these things for.

Oh I know you didn't just discommodate me!

Garak: Well, my sources at Cardassian Central Command say Angry Birds Star Wars are not a Delta Quadrant species.

Quark: Then it's not an invasion?

Garak <shifting eyes>: No comment.

Klingon: Ah it has arrived! You cannot imagine what a bloody battle we have been waging against split end frizzing. Q'Pla, Mary Kay!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRA: Damn it, Chief. Cabbage should declared a deadly weapon!

 

[_C_]

Odo's horrified expression when he realizes that bag contains all of Morn's Lurian sex toys...

 

[Smellincoffee]

Sisko: Everyone, just relax and look like you've nothing to hide. I'm sure this is just a routine border contact by the Central Command's forces.
Kira: We're carrying members of the Detapa Council to establish a government-in-exile!
Sisko: For an ex-resistance fighter, you don't seem particlarly accomplished at deception.
Kira: We always shot the Cardassians before they got around to asking questions!

Worf: A healthy boy! He will make a fine main course.
(off Miles and Keiko suddenly choking)
That was a joke. Klingons NEVER eat the children of their friends.

Quark: You want me to spike the doctor's drink?
Garak: It's a...supplement. Vitamins. The dear doctor needs more minerals in his diet.
..Oh, and I'd like to reserve a holosuite for that same evening.

 

[Triskelion]

Kira: You missed our exit.
Sisko: No, the Chief rightly intuited I wanted to check out the area ahead before doubling back.
Kira: Male humanoids are all the same.
O'Brien: We share an unspoken spatial awareness. It's a scientific fact.
Kira: By a study conducted by a male humanoid, no doubt.
O'Brien: You can't rule on a scientific fact. It's a fact.
Kira: You missed another exit.
Sisko: Good thinking, Chief.

Worf: A Japanese mother and Irish father? I guess that makes him...
O'Brien: Let me save you some time. "Blended."
Worf: I was going to say 'fortunate both parents are alive, unlike my son.'
O'Brien: Oh no you weren't, you bloody comedian.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Worf: So you are Kirayoshi O'Brien...son of Miles O'Brien...and you peed on me.

 

[bbjeg]

Thanks for the pick.

Bashir: Oh! When you said you wanted me to take the bullet and you wanted Dax to polish Rom and your horns I thought you meant...

Worf: You call that a war cry? This is a war cry...

Garak: Are you sure no one will find out?
Quark: Discretion is my top priority. (Wait until Rom hears Garak is into Bajoran porn!)

Drex: You are a man of great honor Morn. I will cease any further aggression on this station, change my ways, and try to live under your philosophy.
Odo: (Why do I always walk in after he speaks?)

 

[shivkala]

Kira: Wait, wait, wait, "'Scuse me while I kiss this guy?"

O'Brien: Yes! It's a common misconception to think he was singing, "'Scuse me while I kiss the sky."

Kira: Well, I'll be damned.

Sisko: Major, since when did you become a Hendrix fan?

Kira: Remember when we had to travel back in time to save your sorry butt from 2024, Gabriel!

Sisko: In that case, far out, man!

 

[R. Star]

Quark: Where's the new caption contest?
Garak: My dear Quark, until you say what I want you to, we're going to be here for a very long time.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kirayoshi: Mommy! It's not my diaper, it's this weird Klingon!

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Worf:"Uh.. here Chief I think he filling them.."

O'Brien (OS) "Well I think we found a Klingon weakness.."

Worf: "Its universal Chief"