TOS Caption Contest #277: That Which Captions
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Kirk: She said she had to wash her hair...but the next day it was still done up in that braided contraption!
Bones: We're starving and surrounded by predatorial humanoids, Jim. Give your Yeoman fetish a rest!
Computer: Pingpingpingpingping....
Scotty: Trouble alert.
Computer: Beepboopbeepboopbeepboop....
Scotty: System failure alert.
Computer: You get a shiver in the dark, it's raining in the park, but meantime:
South of the river, you stop and you hold everything....
Scotty: Dire Straits alert.
Spock: Notify me if it goes to Hanson Alert.
Kirk: You call this a man cave?
Spock: I detect no sign of refreshments, Captain.
Kirk: Isn't that the babe from that old 20th century TV show "Time Tunnel"?
HOLOGRAPIC ANN MacGREGOR: Doug, Tony? What the hell happened?
KIRK: The name's Kirk.
ANN: You're not General Kirk.
I need a capper... anyone?
KIRK: No, I'm being specific.
HOLOGRAPIC ANN MacGREGOR: Doug, Tony? What the hell happened?
KIRK: The name's Kirk.
ANN: You're not General Kirk.
Kirk: My skill with a phaser is legendary. Legendary!
Bones: Those were our sandwiches, Jim.
Mister Scott, there is a panel here with no lights blinking.
They donnae all have to blink, Mister Spock!
I will pretend I did not hear that, Engineer Scott.
Sulu: Captain, this rock is remarkable!
Kirk: Indeed, Sulu
(thinking) I wonder where I could get a haircut like that...
McCoy: (thinking) I wonder where Jim could get a haircut like that...
Bones: "He's not dead, Jim."
Kirk: Beam us up, quickly Mr Scot! This planet is affecting us all! (bursts into tears) It's so depressing!
Spock: What... is love?
McCoy: Jim, help! He's controlling my eyebrows!
Kirk: Leave his eyebrows alone or I WILL SHOOT YOOOU!!
Scotty: Oh Mr Spock, it's the middle panel. It doesn't light up! DOESN'T LIGHT UP I TELL YOU! WHYYYYYYYYYY?????!!
Spock: Doctor McCoy, come quickly, I think the effects from that planet have reached the ship
Scotty: WWHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY???????????!?!?!?!?!
Spock: "You seem depressed, Mr. Scott."
Scotty (lower lip trembling): "Oh, Mr. Spock! It's been a week now, and not a single soul has noticed my new hair style!"
Scotty: Spock, these lights keep blinking out of sequence.
Spock: I see.
Scotty: What should I do about it, sir?
Spock: Get them to blink IN sequence.
Scott: I'm tellin' you, Mr. Spock, you didnae have a brain at the time! You're nae gonna be able to use that wee device to remote-control Yeoman Ross!
As McCoy and Sulu stared in shock at the remains of Mr. Fluffy, Kirk slowly realized he did not, in fact, have his phaser set to "laser pointer".
Are ye satisfied, Mister Spock?
I am indeed, Mister Scott. I am indeed.
GIRL:I want to touch you...
KIRK:I'M CONVINCED!
SULU: The survey is complete Captain. We were unable to find any alien women on this planet.
KIRK: Keep looking. I will finish my scavenger hunt!
SCOTTY: Is that a tricorder or a children's toy?
SPOCK: A children's toy, of course. It's baby's first tricorder. You couldn't tell by the plastic colorful buttons?
SCOTTY: Oh. I mean, yeah, I was just testing you.
KIRK: Wait, you mean that wasn't a hallucination caused by an all powerful entity?
SULU: Nope, that was just some guy.
KIRK: Crap.
KIRK: What the hell is this? It doesn't look like me.
SPOCK: No Captain. It's a mirror that reflects your innermost secret desires.
KIRK: Um. No it's not.
KIRK: ... ... ...
SPOCK: I'm sorry to interrupt your dramatic pause, captain, but the planet is about to explode.
Spock: "I see your colorful, lighted buttons have burned out."
Scotty: "Aye. Do ye know where I can get some more?"
Spock (angles face of handheld device away from Scotty): "Uh, no."
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