VOY Caption Contest 113: Bad Romance

[Captain Kathryn]

Hi all,

Everyone submitted such funny captions! It was so hard to select only a few.

Can a VOY mod unsticky the old contest and sticky this one?

Enjoy~!

Chakotay: "It's the Heimlich maneuver, honest. She's choking on a bit of leola root. The hypospray is just... Nothing to see here. Dismissed!"

EMH: Kim, you are cheating at Twister again and I quit!
Harry: You can't quit now! You know this is the only way I can get women to touch me!

JANEWAY: This is some good hedgehog pudding, Mr. Suder! But enough eating, we need to find out what happened to Neelix.

Cow: No, Harry. Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?
Harry: How much for just two jugs?

Doctor: I said she's fine Kim, I would know.
Kim: FINE? Does she look fine? She needs to be nurtured, hugged, and stroked.
Seven: If you don't remove that hand off my shoulder, I'm going to assimilate my foot up your ass.

I thought this one was hilarious. Also perfect for Teacake.

DOCTOR: What did the Captain do to you?
SEVEN: I requested a less revealing uniform.

More images are here for your captioning amusement! This time, the theme is...hot for captain...Janeway gets some lovin'...and unwanted attention.

 

[Ln X]

Janeway: That's right, humiliate yourself.

After five years of sexual repression the inner tiger in Janeway finally pounced...

Tom: Let's make lizards baby!

Janeway: This better not be one of your fantasies Q...

Chakotay thinking: A-koo-chee-moya. I am far from the land of our fathers, I am isolated on a world with a woman whom I love. O spirits give me the strength to not kiss this woman's lips right now. A-koo-chee-moya.

 

[Isolinear]

JANEWAY: "Q, tell me, is that nasty odour gone?"

JANEWAY: "Chakotay, what did you do to your face?!"
KASHYK: "Ahh, the GHB is beginning to take effect"

PARIS: "Oh well, thankfully after she's de-evolved I'll barely recognize her."

JANEWAY: "Oh Q, OH Q!!!"
Q: "...it'll be over soon"

JANEWAY: "Up there, space, the final frontier....
CHAKOTAY: "Down there, one small step.... I think you'd better bathe again Kathryn"

 

[R. Star]

Q: Oh Kathy... is that a foot in my face or a leg raised in invitation?

Janeway: You're a despotic jackbooted fascist, who sows fear and terror into those around him, admit you engage in plots that your superiors would be appaled with and... and... I. Want. You. Bad!

Paris: Rejecting me because I can't carpet munch? I'll rock your world... twice.

Q: Not now Kathy, as much as I'd like you to let the lead out of my pencil, my fellow Q are letting their lead out of their barrels right now and that's just deadly.

Chakotay: There was once an angry warrior. He decided to devote himself to the beautiful female warrior and watched her at all times, even during her most private moments. Then he wasn't so angry anymore.
Janeway: I'd rather take my chances with the monkey.

 

[Triskelion]

Thanks for the win Captain Kathryn!

Q: Yes, you should fend me off, because I am totally straight.
Janie: Yeah, you're a real man's man. Now shut up and give me a pedi.

Kashyk: Why don't people like me?
Janeway: Maybe it's your toothpaste.

Tom: Revenge of the Creature!
Janeway: Hm, more like the Incredible Shrinking Man.

Miss Jane: I do declare I'm gettin' the vapors!
Colonel Angus: In the 24th century we call that a gaseous anal anomaly.

Janes: I love the sound of bugs getting zapped. The moths to flame. So much hope. So much fatal electrostatic discharge. It's truly romantic.

Chak: I'll...be in my shelter hiding all the sharp objects.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

TFTW!

Q: What? Picard secretly thought it was funny when I interrupted him in intimate situations.
JANEWAY: It was funny because it had GAY IMPLICATIONS. This is just creepy.

KASHYK: How do you know I'm still not manipulating you?
JANEWAY: Because that would make your plan unnecessarily convoluted. If you wanted to capture the telepaths there would be far simpler ways to do it.
KASHYK: Umm... yeah. YEAH!

PARIS: Now I just have to kill her. If Janeway dies, they'll NEVER let us air the episode, and then the show is saved!

JANEWAY: Now I'm going to go hold the other Q hostage with these weapons!
Q: Wait, what? What makes you think that will work?
JANEWAY: Because these are Q weapons, that you made look like civil war era weapons. They can hurt you!
Q: Well yeah, but what makes you think you can operate them just because they look like guns to you? This is all an illusion I created for your comprehension.
JANEWAY: Umm...
Q: And the moment you get the gun on them, they can just wink you into oblvion. We're Q!
JANEWAY: Crap. Okay, new plan. We play the inferior race card and get them to send us back and erase our memories. Good luck Q!

CHAKOTAY: Well, this is it. I'm the only man on the planet, and you said if that ever happened, you'd make love to me.
JANEWAY: Oh, no Chakotay. I haven't given up on getting home. I'm still hoping some day to be in Mark's arms again, and finally get married. I'm saving myself for that remote possibility.
CHAKOTAY: ...We're not really sick. I'll call the ship to come get us.

 

[Mistral]

Janeway: "Don't you just love the stars in the sky at night?"

Chakotay: "I'd love the towel on the ground a lot more."

 

[Finn]

Chakotay: *thinking* I better introduce her to the beach volleyball holoprogram Tom was talking about the other day. She'd have a bitchin' bod after a week.

 

[Captain Kathryn]

Good one!

I have to say it cause I'm a Kate fan...she already had a bitchin' bod!

 

[Kaffe]

Janeway: It's still not big enough.

Janeway: Tread lightly.
Kaskyk: Enough already! You're a starship captain, not a meth cook.

Every viewer - ever: What has been seen cannot be unseen.

Chakotay (off-screen): Hey, I thought you said it wasn't big enough!

Chakotay: So here we are finally.. *giggling inside*
Janeway: Shut up, there's coffee in that tree!

 

[hux]

Janeway: See this foot....soon it will connect sharply with your balls
Q:I don't actually have any balls
Janeway: So you've got a lot in common with the rest of my male crew

Janeway: So after i bend over like this...then what happens
Kaskyk: I unfurl my 20 inch tongue.....and then the magic happens baby

Paris: Quick, gotta get to a bed before it goes soft again

Q: I told you, Q don't have any balls
Janeway: Let me check everywhere

Janeway: What i want is up there
Chakotay: What i want is down there

 

[Supernuke]

Janeway: Look at the stars! Aren't they magnificent Chakotay?
Chakotay: Huh? Oh it's magnificent alright.

 

[R. Star]

Janeway: It's still not big enough.

Q: But if I make it any bigger.... oh! So you're into Japanese tentacle sex? *flash*
Janeway:

 

[LeadHead]

Janeway: Somewhere, along this journey... my foot will kick your...

Q: Got it!

(Q snaps fingers and vanishes)

(Tuvok enters)

Tuvok: Captain, we were detecting unusual heat signatures from... oh. Never mind.

Paris carries Janeway over the "Threshold."

Janeway: Computer, end program.

(Everything vanishes)

Janeway: Why did I program that?!

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHAKOTAY: I don't see her.

PARIS: The computer said she was in the holdeck.

JANEWAY: Oh, crap.

 

[Triskelion]

Q: Sorry Kathryn, but there's a secession in my pants.

 

[R. Star]

Q: Sorry Kathryn, but there's a secession in my pants.

Janeway: Oh... the South will rise again? I've heard that before.

 

[Triskelion]

^

Janes: My panties have this same pattern.
Q: Oh crap.

 

[Captain Kathryn]

Sooo funny~!
I'm gonna post a new contest tonight or tomorrow.

 

[Captain Kathryn]

Winners and new contest posted!
http://www.trekbbs.com/showthread.php?t=227308