Good Husband or Emasculated Wuss?

[doubleohfive]

So, I think this thread has established that the OP has some kind of deep-seated discomfort with his own masculinity, while everyone else (including me) thinks there is no big deal here.

Carry on.

Seriously, the level of words being put into mouths here is obscene.

Maybe they are helping you to that out that inconvenient foot you seem to have in there.

Every day I wake up thinking it's the 21st Century, and every day I'm reminded it's still 1950.

Every day I wake up thinking RJD will wake up thinking it's the 21st Century, and every day I'm reminded that every day he's reminded it's still 1950.

It's pretty obnoxious to post that guy's picture in here. Also, a little creepy.

Agreed.

FC: You've been struggling with the nature of your deeply repressed homosexuality. By your wifes mocking of percieved male femininity, it reinforces the idea that manly, masculine and straight = good, feminine (and gay) = bad, in order to keep you in aforementioned repressive state. because divorces are expensive.

or i could be way off the mark. its so hard to be accurate when you're making up shit about people you don't know.

Mostly I suppose I don't understand why it's okay to take a picture of a stranger and ridicule it online, in the case of the woman who originally posted it on facebook.

An excellent question. Probably the one we should be discussing, and certainly more worthy of the level of thought the OP seems to be putting in to backpedaling here.

This thread is so full of nonsense that it is mindboggling. It's a bag, for christ's sake.

+1

 

[propita]

My husband will hold my purse while I try on clothes, look through the racks of bras to find one he'd like for me in my size, heck, he even has a pink shirt! I like that he's secure enough in his masculinity that other people's opinions don't matter.

 

[Colonel Green]

Like I said, I was playing Devil's Advocate so when I described the guy as being subservient that was more of a projection of the photo taker's view than my own. Sorry if I didn't make that more clear. I posted her because there was an interesting debate going on in the photo post (some of her friends saying similar things as are being said here, others agreeing with her) and was curious as to how such a debate might play out with a wider group of people.

Well why don't you tell us what you think? That might make discussion easier.

This. I suspect that this particular "devil's advocate" may have a fool for a client.

 

[RyanKCR]

Am I the only one who thought of this?

I thought of this:
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tqQj4loAgg[/yt]

 

[rhubarbodendron]

imo he's holding the bag in the only possible and comfortable way when you need both hands free. That he takes a pic with his wife's phone makes sense if she has a better one than he does or if it's the only one at hand atm.


I like to think that I am rather unprejudiced when it comes to clothes. Coincidentially, I wore an Indiana Jones-like hat this morning on my way to work. It's a man's hat but it suits me, is warm and comfortable and keeps the drizzle off.
And if women wear trousers and pyjamas, why shouldn't men wear skirts (if they have good legs) or handbags? The latter would certainly look better than those ugly baggy pants that hang half a mile under the male bottom and propably have all pockets stuffed with wallets, cigarettes, condoms, keys, beer cans and whatever else guys carry around with them.

 

[doubleohfive]

Putting aside all this nonsense Flux has been dragging up, doesn't the guy in the photo get a free pass since he's obviously (per Flux's description of the scene) taking a picture of his daughter? I mean, come on - how many of you parents out there have put yourself in equally ridiculous or compromising (though I don't think this situation qualifies as either, personally) positions or situations just to record a moment of your child's life?

Frankly, if this thread has been any indication, the OP (and his wife, honestly) could stand to expand their worldview a bit.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

Wow. I don't even know where to start. I pose a question and don't e an take a specific side myself and all of a sudden everyone is a damn psychology expert. I guess I just address this one since its the *most* wrong comment that's been said about me.

FC: You've been struggling with the nature of your deeply repressed homosexuality. By your wifes mocking of percieved male femininity, it reinforces the idea that manly, masculine and straight = good, feminine (and gay) = bad, in order to keep you in aforementioned repressive state. because divorces are expensive.

What the hell are you talking about? My wife wasn't the one doing the mocking, my friend was. Try a little reading comprehension on for size. The only stance I took on what I consider feminine colors and styles is that I simply do not prefer them myself. So its okay for a guy to like pink but if I prefer blues and blacks I'm a closet homosexual?

or i could be way off the mark. its so hard to be accurate when you're making up shit about people you don't know.

I wasn't making anything up, I was speculating.

My opinion on the subject is that he likely is just being g a good husband. My wife submitted that in a lot of Asian cultures the men have no qualms about coming off as what may be considered "manly". I do admit though that my first impression was that he was "whipped" but upon further consideration I see that there is a lot of info we don't have.

Seriously people, read the entire thread before you try to play Freud. Also, I love how a moderator got in on the pilling on, that's always awesome.

 

[doubleohfive]

Wow. I don't even know where to start. I pose a question and don't e an take a specific side myself and all of a sudden everyone is a damn psychology expert. I guess I just address this one since its the *most* wrong comment that's been said about me.

FC: You've been struggling with the nature of your deeply repressed homosexuality. By your wifes mocking of percieved male femininity, it reinforces the idea that manly, masculine and straight = good, feminine (and gay) = bad, in order to keep you in aforementioned repressive state. because divorces are expensive.

What the hell are you talking about? My wife wasn't the one doing the mocking, my friend was. Try a little reading comprehension on for size. The only stance I took on what I consider feminine colors and styles is that I simply do not prefer them myself. So its okay for a guy to like pink but if I prefer blues and blacks I'm a closet homosexual?

or i could be way off the mark. its so hard to be accurate when you're making up shit about people you don't know.

I wasn't making anything up, I was speculating.

Aaaaaand WHOOSH!

My opinion on the subject is that he likely is just being g a good husband. My wife submitted that in a lot of Asian cultures the men have no qualms about coming off as what may be considered "manly". I do admit though that my first impression was that he was "whipped" but upon further consideration I see that there is a lot of info we don't have.

Probably because you guys snapped a photo of a complete stranger, came to your own ass-backward conclusion about it, then posted it to the internet with the hope of finding further validation of your ass-backward conclusion. But we'll ignore the inherent douchey-ness of photographing a complete stranger just so you can, hopefully poke fun at him with a bunch of other strangers, because we don't really care about artistic integrity at all, never mind personal respect or consideration.

Seriously people, read the entire thread before you try to play Freud. Also, I love how a moderator got in on the pilling on, that's always awesome.

Wow. Seriously? Crybaby much? I'm going to assume you're referring to Robert Maxwell's posts in this thread because they're some of the more sensible discussion going on here. But here's the thing: Robert Maxwell isn't a moderator in this forum. And even if he were, he's entitled to his opinion and has the right to post it here, just as you do, even if from your skewed perception it is "piling on." You don't get sympathy points just because other people disagree with you and can explain why.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

Putting aside all this nonsense Flux has been dragging up, doesn't the guy in the photo get a free pass since he's obviously (per Flux's description of the scene) taking a picture of his daughter? I mean, come on - how many of you parents out there have put yourself in equally ridiculous or compromising (though I don't think this situation qualifies as either, personally) positions or situations just to record a moment of your child's life?

Frankly, if this thread has been any indication, the OP (and his wife, honestly) could stand to expand their worldview a bit.

There it is again...it wasn't my wife doing the mocking. Nor was I. All I did was pose the question and my wife's only comment was on heavy bags. Jesus Christ.

Probably because you guys snapped a photo of a complete stranger, came to your own ass-backward conclusion about it, then posted it to the internet with the hope of finding further validation of your ass-backward conclusion. But we'll ignore the inherent douchey-ness of photographing a complete stranger just so you can, hopefully poke fun at him with a bunch of other strangers, because we don't really care about artistic integrity at all, never mind personal respect or consideration.

"You guys"? I didn't take the damn picture! My wife had nothing to do with this. My friend did and I just reposted it. Does nobody actually read anymore?

 

[sidious618]

You posted a lot more than just a question. Did you somehow forget about all the posts you made after the original one?

 

[Kestra]

Flux, all your other posts just added to that initial impression of you and your opinion. It would be much more constructive to pause the back-and-forth and tell us your own feelings about all of this instead of being purely in defensive mode. If people have gotten the wrong impression of you, please correct it!

 

[doubleohfive]

Putting aside all this nonsense Flux has been dragging up, doesn't the guy in the photo get a free pass since he's obviously (per Flux's description of the scene) taking a picture of his daughter? I mean, come on - how many of you parents out there have put yourself in equally ridiculous or compromising (though I don't think this situation qualifies as either, personally) positions or situations just to record a moment of your child's life?

Frankly, if this thread has been any indication, the OP (and his wife, honestly) could stand to expand their worldview a bit.

There it is again...it wasn't my wife doing the mocking. Nor was I. All I did was pose the question and my wife's only comment was on heavy bags. Jesus Christ.

My mistake. Sorry about that. I must have gotten ahead of myself here. You have my apologies.

Probably because you guys snapped a photo of a complete stranger, came to your own ass-backward conclusion about it, then posted it to the internet with the hope of finding further validation of your ass-backward conclusion. But we'll ignore the inherent douchey-ness of photographing a complete stranger just so you can, hopefully poke fun at him with a bunch of other strangers, because we don't really care about artistic integrity at all, never mind personal respect or consideration.

"You guys"? I didn't take the damn picture! My wife had nothing to do with this. My friend did and I just reposted it. Does nobody actually read anymore?

Ok. Again - apologies for the mix-up. You reposted the photo just to poke fun at the guy, which I guess is slightly less douche-y.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

No, I reposted it to pose the question. It wasn't my intention to poke fun at the guy, it was to start a debate on whether my friends opinion was valid or if the guy was really just being a good guy. The only opinion of mine I gave was that pink is a fell one color. I think I'm allowed that opinion just as much as someone who thinks its gender neutral.

 

[doubleohfive]

No, I reposted it to pose the question. It wasn't my intention to poke fun at the guy, it was to start a debate on whether my friends opinion was valid or if the guy was really just being a good guy. The only opinion of mine I gave was that pink is a fell one color. I think I'm allowed that opinion just as much as someone who thinks its gender neutral.

You're allowed it, of course. Just like everyone else is allowed to tell you that as an opinion its mostly antiquated, backward, and generally outmoded.

 

[sidious618]

I'd still like to hear how posting this guy's picture is at all appropriate.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

back to the topic, please, gentlemen. Quarreling won't answer any questions.

According to the poll and the previous thread pages, most readers think he's being a good husband. From Flux' last posts I got the impression that he's beginning to lean towards that answer as well. Or am I misinterpreting you there, Flux?

What was it that initially struck you as most unmanly? The handbag, the camera or the fact that he was taking a pic?

Admittedly, the handbag looks a bit out of place. On the other hand, if his wife asked him to hold it for a moment and he wanted to use exactly that moment to take a photo, he pretty much had no alternative to holdig the bag like this. He might have locked it between his knees like schoolkids do with their bags in a crowded bus or train, but that would have looked even more undignified.

On the whole, I think this man showed quite a bit of courage. Taking a picture of his daughter (and presumably his wife, too) was more important to him than the question whether he looked ridiculous or not. I find this quite admirably and very manly. Gentlemanly, even

 

[Admiral2]

It's both. Good husbands are the definition of totally whipped, and vice versa.

 

[Kemaiku]

 

[Kestra]

Well without Flux actually stating his opinion on anything other than the color pink, it's difficult to really discuss with him at all. It's inappropriate to be taking someone's picture and discussing like this (as several have mentioned). There's no way to tell if someone is a "good husband" or not from a picture, and it's really none of our business to even try. I don't pretend that the standards I have for my own relationship apply to everyone else's or that my idea of a good husband is anyone else's.

Lastly, I dislike any thoughtful, considerate, or just generally nice action being seen as weak. The whole "women like bad boys" thing that's been brought up in this thread is incredibly annoying. I don't want to be treated badly and I will fight against it. Unfortunately no one out there is perfect either, so yes, we do have to put up with the flaws of others. Being kind and helpful to your partner should never be seen as a flaw, weakness, or something that needs to be changed.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Well without Flux actually stating his opinion on anything other than the color pink, it's difficult to really discuss with him at all. It's inappropriate to be taking someone's picture and discussing like this (as several have mentioned). There's no way to tell if someone is a "good husband" or not from a picture, and it's really none of our business to even try. I don't pretend that the standards I have for my own relationship apply to everyone else's or that my idea of a good husband is anyone else's.

Lastly, I dislike any thoughtful, considerate, or just generally nice action being seen as weak. The whole "women like bad boys" thing that's been brought up in this thread is incredibly annoying. I don't want to be treated badly and I will fight against it. Unfortunately no one out there is perfect either, so yes, we do have to put up with the flaws of others. Being kind and helpful to your partner should never be seen as a flaw, weakness, or something that needs to be changed.