TNG Caption This! 286: Power to the Players: The Sequel!

[LeadHead]

Happy Sunday everyone! Sorry about the lateness, without getting too personal, I will say that a certain started of these threads had a party in honor of him NOT getting any older that took up most of his time yesterday.

The Winner, as selected by Holdfast:

PICARD:Hmmm, Edith Keeler hit by car. Aliens in Berlin. Slow news day, I guess.

The winner, as selected by Jonas Grumby:

Worf: "Ever... mated with a Klingon?"
Yar: "Classy!"

The winner, as selected by The Laughing Vulcan: (AKA The Zombie Vulcan)

PICARD: Now! Lob the grenade at her now!

The winner, as selected by Mojochi:

Crusher: "It'll be fine. It's just a minor dryness in the eye. I'll precribe you some artificial tears to treat it."
Picard: "Thank you Doctor. But did I have to be naked for you to tell me that?"
Crusher: "Don't argue with your Doctor, Jean Luc."

The winners, as selected by Finn: (AKA The Thing from the Bayou)

Data: Commander, it appears that we have encountered the marker buoy left by apple maps.

Riker: Great. Are we at our destination?

Data: Unknown Sir, it says we shoulda taken a left turn in Albuquerque.

And just to prove that this is really The Laughing Vulcan's Lucky day...

Picard: "Mon Dieu!"
Riker: "What is the size of that thing?"
Data: "The more pressing question is, what is the size of the Kinder Egg that Counsellor Troi just beamed to her quarters?"

The Photoshop Award, goes to:

Data: "Incorrect Captain. It is not a small moon, but rather a space station.

Picard: "Does it pose any danger to us Mister Data?"

Data: "Negative Captain, it most powerful weapon is merely a big laser."

Riker: "A laser? That wouldn't even penetrate our navigational deflector."

Picard: What happened?
Crusher: The same thing that happened 9 months before Wesley was born.

Congratulations to our winners, many thanks to all those who participated and extra special thanks to our Great Team of Judges this time around!

Moving on, since this one started on Sunday, I feel strongly that it should not be shortchanged. Therefore, I'm going to have this one go from Sunday to Sunday and then the following contest, we'll get back to Saturday starts.

And Now, I bring you, our next team of Judges!

This Picture is brought to you by Nerys Myk, who should be renamed Jack of all trades. Can Photoshop, can caption can get into my thoughts and figure out how to get inside my brain...

This picture is brought to you by Mr. Laser Beam, who despite my issues with avatar (Sorry man, can't stand the Yankees) brings laughter to many every week!

This picture is brought to you by Isis, one of the most reliable posters in this going back years. Reliable not only in posting, but making me LOL!

This picture is brought you by bullethead, a great name for a great captioner! Thanks for all the photoshops and captions you've brought to the contest!

A couple of people didn't get back to me on this, so I decided to go into the Screencaps of the Season 2 trailer on TrekCore and bring us something from it. I will not judge this winner, and honestly, I'll make this one, First Come, First Served. If you'd like to get to judge this one, please PM me.

Since we only have 4 judges and an up for grabs picture, a picture may be added tomorrow. We'll see!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: I coulda been that short....

Crusher: Aye-Aye, Captain!

Picard: I haven't given any orders yet!

Riker: I'm Commander William Riker of the Enterprise and I feel like we're massively overdressed.

Picard: Here's my card. I really should think about putting my phone number on it...

Picard: WHY ARE WE LETTING WESLEY DRIVE AGAIN?!!

 

[inflatabledalek]

RIKER: I see from the size of the stone hanging on the wall you must have some bloody big apricots on this planet.

Crusher: This big?! Really... pull the other one Jean-Luc.

Edo: Do we look like the sort of people who have hats to drop?

Picard: I actually wanted to role play as Lazlo Woodbine in an adaptation of Dead Dames Don't Die, but couldn't make it work in just the four locations.

Cat: Turning right.... Now!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Riker (thinking): "Now that is total effeminate awesomeness if I've ever seen it!"

Picard: "I must say, Beverly, you're stirring up quite a storm in me!"
Crusher: "Maybe I should drop to my knees and batten down your hatches!"
Picard: "Hmm...maybe we should wait until we sober up a bit."
Crusher: "Whatever you say, skipper!"

Riker: "No, we're not here to close your establishment down. We're not those Feds."

 

[shivkala]

Riker: *Thinking to himself*, Man, this is just like that wet dream I had last night, but something's not quite right. I can't put my finger on it, but somehow, in my head, things were a little bit different. Ah, well, can't worry about it now...

Though you do have to give her credit for trying, Beverly Crusher could never quite get the basics of the "High Five" 100% correct.

Riker: Who's your tailor, William Ware Theiss?
Rivan: Yes, why do you ask?
Riker: No reason...

Even though he felt it was a scam, Picard couldn't resist the "Drop your business card here for a free lunch" promotion at Mel's Diner.

Director: Damn it, Patrick, when we yell, "Tilt!" we mean it! Alright, we'll try it again, and this time Patrick, can you PLEASE act as if the ship is tilting violently? Act 2, Scene 5, Take 106, and ACTION!

 

[bullethead]

Riker: Do you people all pull that pose all the time? River Dance went out of style centuries ago.

Picard: Permission to act sexy granted Doctor.
Crusher: Aye Captain.

The Enterprise crew later setup a warning beacon in orbit to save people from the terror of this planet's fashions.

Data: Look at that subtle off-white coloring; the tasteful thickness of it... Oh my God, it even has a watermark.

Picard: Report!
Data: Captain, we are suffering playback instability due to the picture not being cropped properly!

 

[Finn]

Riker: Damn it, woman. We went over this in the holodeck last night! You better sit in the corner...

Picard: Wesley, take over!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Picard: Here's my card. I really should think about putting my phone number on it...

Actually "PRospect 4631" is the phone number.

 

[LeadHead]

Really? Whoops.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Dix: "Pretty snazzy, huh? Jim Rockford prints 'em up for me on a little portable press he keeps in the backseat of his car."

Riker: "Perhaps you could settle a bet for us. Lieutenant Yar here thinks you wear such abbreviated clothing because of this planet's hot climate, while Lieutenant Worf thinks it's to conserve resources through the efficient use of clothing materials."
Liator: "Actually, it's because we're all sex-besotted hedonists."
Worf: "That was my first guess!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: So, why did Khan dump you here?

 

[Nerys Myk]

DOCTOR: Psychic paper...

CRUSHER: Sorry Captain, I'm out of uniform.

PICARD: If I'm lucky.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Actually "PRospect 4631" is the phone number.

Really? Whoops.

Yeah, MLB is right. In fact, the number is PR-4631, i.e. 77-4631, and the capital R is not a typo [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telephone_number#Alphanumeric_telephone_numbers]. [/history lesson]

<Insert "The More You Know" meme here.>

 

[Isis]

Riker: "It's not fair."

Man on couch: "What's not fair?"

Riker: "You people are sexier than we are."

 

[Vassa]

Riker(thinking): Yep, time to grow a beard.

Riker: You figure out a way to kill him that leaves our hands clean, and we promise to deliver all the sex toys you can handle. Deal?

Picard could be a downright bastard with the inertial dampeners.

 

[Holdfast]

It was fun being a guest judge; thanks for the opportunity and sorry for being a bit late in getting back to you with my choice!

RIKER (thinking): Damn him. No-one outposes me.

CRUSHER: The used tissues in Wesley's bedroom were piled this high.

EDO: The worst thing about these clothes? The tan lines.

DATA (offscreen): Good colouring.
PICARD: That's bone. And the lettering is something called Silian Rail.

DIRECTOR (offscreen): Cut!
PATRICK STEWART: That's it! End of season wrap-party! Destroy all the sets!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Data: "Hold on! Our damaged auto pilot thinks we just hit Albuquerque, and she's turning left!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Wow! Thanks for the win(s). I've probably blown all my reserve of humorous in just one week...

Riker: "So the last Federation contact this world had was from the... Starship Excelsior?"
Beata os: "commanded by Captain Hikaru Sulu. Why?"

Picard: "That's not the official Arnold J Rimmer salute, Doctor. Nothing less will suffice on my ship!"

Riker: "How do you guys... I mean, this is a planet full of the liberally dressed, flesh on show... so how do the planet's males..."
Worf: "... avoid 'tenting'?"
Man: "Not a problem, all the men on the planet are impotent. We haven't been able to satisfy our women in generations. If it weren't for IVF..."
Riker: "I thought it would be impossible for me to like this planet more..."
Yar: "Commander?"
Riker: "I was wrong."

Picard: "What would this object be for, historian?"
Whelan : "That? That would be a 'business card'. In the days before automated street sanitation, it was used to scrape shit from shoes."

Data: "Ship's inertial dampeners are failing, Captain."
Picard: "Note in ship's log, commendation due to the ship's engineer for his auxiliary dampeners in the Captain's seat idea... also evasive action."


Let's try this again...

Worf: "Ever... mated with a Klingon?"
Yar: "Classy!"

 

[Triskelion]

 

[R. Star]

William T. Riker- Men, women, aliens, androgynous beings, potted plants... if it has an orifice he can get into, he's all over it.

Picard: Well done Doctor, you're quite talented at the Picard Maneuver. We'll continue practicing at 1800 tomorrow. Bring more viagra.
Crusher: Aye, aye, captain.

Worf: Klingon women have better cleavage.

Picard: I'm not a spying pervert. It's a legitimate profession dating back to ancient Earth history! See?

Picard: This is intolerable... how long do we have to put up with Wesley learning to drive? Isn't there anyone else we can use?!
Riker: Well Geordi's busy in engineering, Yar's dead so Worf had to take over tactical. Troi's not doing anything...