TNG Caption This! 284: Happy 25th Anniversary TNG!

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to this Caption Contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Further explanation needed" Award, going to:

Data: I do not understand. Commander Riker told me I needed to cock block you, so I developed a method for identifying and terminating roosters while they were still in the egg. I am afraid I must report my failure to the commander. He will be most displeased.

Next, we have the "Double check the safety protocols first" Award, going to:

Data: *thinking* I'd love to push someone off this ship.

Next, we have the "Dangerous wager" Award, going to:

RIKER: I raise you an awkward relationship arc with Deanna Troi.
WORF: Call.

Next, we have the "It ain't pretty but Picard's gotta make somebody do it!" award, going to:

Carpet cleaning required exact coordinates & a precise transporter signal lock

Next, we have the "Don't Mess with The Picard" Award, going to:

Picard: "Oh you dont like my new look, that's a shame. I call it 'I'm the Captain so shut the hell up!' "

Worf: The good news is, Spot didn't soil your carpet.

Picard: Great. What's the bad news?

Worf: Geordi did.

Great contest this week! Thanks to everyone who participated and congratulations to our winners!

So starting next week, we'll have start a 2 week event of special contests! What is it, you ask? A tribute. People have said many nice things about me for running this contest for 100+ contests, but that doesn't matter without you. The people captioning week after week. So PM's went out this morning to 10 people who have been here with me, captioning since the very beginning of my time running this contest.

Each of the 10 will get to submit a blu-ray tng picture to be captioned in one of the next 2 contests and judge the picture. (Temporarily rescuing all of you from my evil schemes! )

Most of all, I'd like to say, Thank you to everyone for coming back week after week, and Happy 25th Birthday TNG!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Data: Can Geordi and I switch chairs?

Picard: No.

La Forge: But-

Picard: No.

Riker: Captain-

Picard: No.

Yar: What if I never wear this skirt again?

Picard: Maybe next episode.

Riker: (thinking) Geez, this guy is boring. I'm starting to wish I took that job on the Drake instead.

Picard: Oh, no! Another ship just appeared in front of us! Prepare to fire, Lieutenant Yar!

Yar: Captain, that's the Saucer Section!

La Forge: Whoa! That's a racy text message!

Picard: Analysis.

Data: Goodness Gracious, Great Balls of Fire!

 

[T'Girl]

Stewart: "If I might offer another suggestion?"

Director (sigh): "Of course Patrick, what do you think?"

Stewart: "Perhaps "Riker" could sit with his knees together, and Troi" could sit with her knees ..."

Sirtis: "Give it up Patrick, we already went with the me wearing no panties thing."

Stewart: "Rating are important, you know."

Picard: "Signal our surrender."

Yar: "Excuse me Captain, while I slap some sense into you."

Picard: What do you think Data?"

Data: "I think Worf and I still need to exchange chairs."

Picard: "I meant about the mysterious object."

Data: "I would be better able to provide a concise answer if I were not seated at the helm."

Worf: "Captain, ops sensor show that ..."

Picard: "I didn't ask you helmsman."

Worf: "I'm at ops actually."

Picard: "Shut up, both of you."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "Counselor Troi, would you pull up a tactical display on your monitor?"
Troi: "I can't, Captain. The network Standards and Practices Department insists I keep my hands like this when the camera is shooting from that angle."

Yar: "Lieutenant, I don't mind a bit of informality from my officers, but 'Hiya, Cap'n!' is a bit much."

Data: "Sir, the library computer has identified the object as--I kid you not--'the mother of all soap bubbles.'"

 

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks for the belly laugh!

Riker: "Most will be much more interesting"?!?!

Picard: Yeah, I went there. I ended the pilot by telling the viewers how dull the last two hours of their life were. And then looked smug about it. I'm a bad ass.

Zorn: I resent you bringing a Betazoid to this meeting Captain!

Troi: I'm getting an overwhelming sense of... "Yo Joe!"?

Zorn: My secret shame...

Crosby: Lo, what light through yonder window breaks...

Stewart: Yeah... yeah I'm sure you'd make it at the RSC. Best Shakespeare I've seen since Arnie's Hamlet.

Worf: I'm just so glad I'm being given chance to prove myself as a helmsman rather than being put in one of those stereotypical Klingon roles.

Geordi: Like security?

Worf: Exactly!

Right, so Nimoy said doing another Trek show would be like trying to catch lighting in a bottle a second time? Well here's the bottle and lighting... all in one!

 

[Nerys Myk]

The seconds after Troi realized she should wear pants when on the bridge.

 

[R. Star]

There are 23 continuity errors in this picture. See if you can spot them all!

Picard: As a bonus, if you sign this treaty with the Federation I shall loan you the services of my secretary, Deanna Troi. She takes excellent dictation.

Picard: Are you going to do something with that hand or are you just a tease like Troi?

LaForge: A friend request from Duras?
Worf: My first Klingon friend on spacebook. I am so happy... he wants my family data records concerning Khitomer.

Worf: Cheesey 80's graphic on collision course. Brace for impact!

 

[Holdfast]

PICARD: This is the perfect sitting position, Number One. Whenever the Counsellor moves, I'm going to get a great upskirt reflected in the viewscreen.

RIKER (thinking): Farpoint Station really is magical. I was just thinking it would be cool if there was a Pirelli calendar on the wall, and it appeared!

TASHA: Like this Captain?
PICARD: Yes, that's right. Then you shake it all about and do the hokey-cokey.

WORF: We're lost. I don't understand how the navigation system could go so wrong.
GEORDI: They installed Apple Maps during the last refit.

DATA: If you look really closely, you can see a miniature St Elsewhere in the middle of the snowglobe.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Picard: Lieutenant, you have a way to go before you master the ancient Earth art of Jazz Hands.

 

[T'Girl]

Picard: "What is it Mister Data?"

Data: "It is a Borg Cube Captain, cleverly disguised as a delightful Christmas scene."

 

[shivkala]

TFTW, Leadhead. You keep the pictures coming, I'll keep the captions coming.

Riker: *to himself* Is he going to end every adventure with a pithy speech? If so, I am out of here!

Picard: You've redecorated this cave, haven't you? I don't like it.

Yar: This is my pimp hand, want to know why?

Geordi: Even a blind man can see, you have no idea what you're doing here, do you?

Data: I have sent your query sir, and the reply was, "Concentrate and ask again."

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the win!

Data: *thinking* I think I might want to swap seats with Geordi. I am not too fond with the idea of Riker sitting right behind me with his crotch visible like that.

 

[Ln X]

Picard: Let history never the forget the name of... captain Picard! To battlestations!

Picard: You've been working for the Klingons!
Zorn: I've done no such thing!
Picard: Oh drop your lies! There's a message right on your laptop screen... In Klingon!

Tasha: Weapons are gone, shields are down and we're stuck to only impulse! What should we do captain?
Picard: Let's play dead for a while...

Worf: Here are the tribute messages for LeadHead.
La Forge: Gee that's a lot! He must be the most loved guy on this ship!

Picard (o/s): I'll be in my ready room should you need me.

 

[Ln X]

Riker: Sir is it just me or do these new uniforms really highlight ones moobs?
Picard: Number One, dedication to Starfleet means adorning yourself with whatever uniforms they give you, no matter how revealing or body-clinging. It could be worse for if they gave us men merely a thong to wear, we would still have to comply with the dress code even if we became the laughing stock of the galaxy!

 

[inflatabledalek]

Riker picked the wrong place to start thinking of an anal but plug.

Yar: Sir, my eyes are up here.

Worf: Why the hell haven't Amazon shipped my Bond 50 set yet?

Geordi: I told you to get it from HMV, mine came on Saturday.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Picard: "This is damned irregular. Yellow alert."
Riker: "Yellow Alert! Energise defence fields, main and aux engines up to 100%, pre-charge phaser banks, load photon tubes, all hands to alerts stations, pom poms at the ready. I repeat pom poms at the ready."
Troi: "I left them in my quarters."
Picard sigh: "Are you sure you wouldn't prefer a different assignment, like say ship's counsellor?"

Picard: "Don't be discouraged Groppler, I'm sure the Federation can overlook a little delay, and we can assist if you need to motivate your workforce..."

...


...


...

Riker: "A rousing cheer would be useful at this point."

...

...

Troi: "Oh, you mean me?"


Picard: sigh

Picard: "Open a hailing frequency, broadcast friendship messages..."
Yar: "Aye sir. Frequency open. Hey, alien dudes. Be excellent to each other, and party on..."
Picard: "Chief of Security, huh? Where did you graduate from, Lieutenant?"
Yar: "San Dimas High School."
Picard: "Figures."

LaForge: "Try the nine of diamonds on the ten of clubs."
Worf: "I see it."
LaForge: "Now the eight of spades..."
Worf: "I can do this myself."
Picard os: "Will someone fly the damned ship!"

Data: "Maybe someone should complain about the placement of The Federation Network screen logos.
Worf: "It is a little obvious."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

LaForge: "Worf? Are those...tear-off tags along the bottom of your sash? With your phone number printed on them?"
Worf: "Yes! This is a traditional Klingon TGIF hook-up sash!"

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Data: I believe some Ferengi kids are shining a laser pen at the view screen again.

 

[Nerys Myk]

LAFORGE: You're right, Worf. We would look better in gold. Too bad we're in the Command Division

WORF: Do not worry. "Arrangements" have been made. ( begins to laugh )

 

[Holdfast]

DATA: Apologies Captain, the stream is buffering again.