TNG Caption This! 280: Everybody just have a good time

[LeadHead]

Happy Saturday to everyone!

First up to the plate, we have the "Repairing the Timeline" award, going to:

Picard: *telepathically* I almost forgot...Geordi got that holoprogram from O'Brien. Charles Tucker died during the last NX-01 mission....

Beverly: *telepathically* Didn't he die as the Commandant of Starfleet Academy in the 23rd Century?

Picard: Yeah, but the buffoon behind us doesn't know that!

Next, we have the "Making my reservations now," Award, going to:

La Forge: Your scans were correct, Data! There is free beer and pizza on this planet. Hurry!

Next, we have the "There goes your allowance..." Award, going to:

Laforge: YAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!!
Picard: Dammit Worf, I've told you a hundred times to clean up your jacks.
Worf: Sorry Captain.

Next, we have the "I guess that's what happens when you transform the Captain" Award, going to:

Silicon-Based Picard: "This meeting of ugly bags of mostly water is adjourned."

Next, we have the "Special Guest Appearance" Award, going to:

Picard: Oh my word, I recognize that mark. Beverly, this is Katherine Pulaski!

Crusher: I know!

A Special "Outfoxed by LeadHead" Award goes to:

Riker:... And I've got a great photoshop caption for that picture of Worf firing his phaser that will bring the house down. Took me hours to put Betty White in exactly the right position but it's going to be worth it... What?

Picard: Caption Contest ended a few hours early this week... sucker!

RIKER: Yeah, you guys had sex. Big whoop. Even Wesley had money in that pool.

Congrats to our winners! Many thanks to everyone who participated!

Continuing my pattern of not putting many details together about a LeadHead's 100 contest celebration plus 25 years of TNG, I'm still keeping that in development.

I'm slightly unsure about when I will put up next weeks contest. It'll either be sometime friday... or sometime in the following 3 days. I'll aim for friday if at all possible.

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Worf: Great, neither of us know how to use the transporter. Where's a qualified extra when you need one?

La Forge: Coordinates Locked, Captain. You'll beam right into the middle of your family reunion.

Picard: Be calm, we come in peace.

Worf: Phasers locked on target.

Picard: Crap.

La Forge: Looks like there may be some issues with the 1st season blu-ray audio, Commander.

Riker: Dang, we'll have to offer replacement discs.

Worf: Enough! after listening to both of you bicker, I'm convinced that you are both without honor!

 

[Mojochi]

Worf: I told you I could do it. Now look what you've done. I have half of the captain & you have half

I'll save you the mutiny. You're on your own

Picard: I'm clearly an unarmed man here. So why don't you lower your shields?

Riker: I could use a back rub

Geordi: Creepy much? Go ask Data

Riker: I did. Why do you think my back hurts?

Worf: Look, Doctor. You want to save them. I want to kill them. Let's compromise. I'll kill some & just maim the rest

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Data: "Worf, would you mind stepping aside? I would really like to perform this transport myself. If you could just move over a bit? You are in the way! I cannot reach the controls! If you would just let me--"
Worf: "Clearly, you have never viewed Mr. Spock's instructional video on 'How to Take Control of the Transporter.'"

LaForge: "Are you sure about this, Captain? Remember, you only get one chance to make a first impression!"

Picard: "Temba, his arms wide?"
Tamarian (on viewscreen): "Troi, her garments discarded?"
Troi: "Worf, his communication link closed!"

Riker: "What was that you just whispered under your breath, Geordi? Sounded like 'overbearing, micromanaging twit!'"

Picard: "We've just completed a comprehensive cost/benefits analysis on the new Holographic Doctor software. And, well, there's no easy way to say this, Beverly..."
Worf: "Been nice workin' with ya."

 

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks for the win you man with head of lead:

Worf: Are you sure Chief O'Brien will appreciate the humour in setting his controls to play "Riverdance" everytime he uses them?

Data: My studies of the 20th century comedian "Jim Davidson" suggests extreme stereotypes are more amusing. I have also studied several of his jokes related to your skin colour, would you like to hear one?

Stewart: Ah, Mr Berman. I'd like to begin salary negotiations for the fourth season.

Picard: And my favourite thing about Troi is...

Worf: Is this where you say "She's right behind me"?

Picard: Unless she's right in front of me I don't care where she is.

Geordi: After extensive orbital scans we've firmly established that the planet is blue.

Worf: ...And then I was all like, "Your father was a liar and a traitor" and then I...

Hello? Anyone home? Jeeez, why don't you two just get a room already?

 

[Cmdr Ji Qi Ren]

Geordi: *Sigh* Why can't I get a girl friend?
Riker: Oh you know, it's easy. Dating is all evolutionary, really.

 

[Cmdr Ji Qi Ren]

Picard: Mr LaForge, this is your annual Performance Management interview. I hope you've met your targets. Or else .......
LaForge: Well, Sir... I've added some really cool Ascii art to the transporter. They are snakes!
Picard: Indeed.....

 

[Holdfast]

Tonight, On A Very Special TNG: Worf and Data attempt to play a piano duet on the transporter console, with tragic consequences for those on the pad at the time.

GEORDI: Let me get this right, you want me to beam you in directly underneath Dr Crusher's bathroom?
PICARD: Phaser is primed for peephole-making!

PICARD: No, I swear, it really was this big. I would have reeled it in but it broke the line and swam away.

GEORDI: That's no moon...
RIKER: No crossovers!

PICARD (thinking): I love it when she crosses her arms; it really accentuates her boobs.
WORF (thinking): I love it when she crosses her arms; those sharp elbows would cause serious damage in combat.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: I'm pretty sure its red, blue, yellow then circle.

DATA: I have a positronic brain. The sequence is red, circle, yellow, blue.

O'BRIEN (os): We getting beamed up or not?

WORF: Yeah, in a minute. Could you answer a question, Chief?

O'BRIEN: Its red, circle, blue, yellow ya idiots!!!!!!

LAFORGE: Is that really your best "Bad ass mother" pose?

PICARD: Mister Riker, please put your pants on!!!!!

RIKER: Can you get the football game on that?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

PICARD (thinking): I love it when she crosses her arms; it really accentuates her boobs.
WORF (thinking): I love it when she crosses her arms; those sharp elbows would cause serious damage in combat.

BEVERLY (thinking): I love it when Jean-Luc falls asleep standing up, the glare off his bald head makes a handy night light.

 

[Supernuke]

Picard: Are YOU talking to ME? I don't see anyone else here...
Worf: They've fired phasers!

 

[shivkala]

Worf: Great, neither of us know how to use the transporter. Where's a qualified extra when you need one?

Data: If only we could find someone who can operate this transporter...
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rPEguSf35c[/yt]

Data: Beating this level is easy, here let me show you...
Worf: There is no honor in receiving help on an Angry Birds level from an android!

Geordi: No sir, I haven't seen Dirty Harry, but believe me, I still don't think you're doing it right.

Picard: *singing* So now I come to you, with open arms, nothing to hide, believe what I say. So here I am with open arms, hoping you'll see what your love means to me, Open arms...
Troi *thinking to herself*, I really hope mother doesn't fall for this. Otherwise, I'm going to have to call, "Mr. Can't Carry a Tune," "Dad."

Riker: So, I was showing her my "O" face...
Geordi: With all due respect, sir, you're just rubbing it in that I can never get a date, aren't you?
Riker *pause* Yeah, pretty much...

Picard: Relax, Beverly, we were just joking about killing Wesley....now can you excuse Mr. Worf and myself for a minute.
*pulls Worf into the corner to talk privately*
Ix-nay on illing-kay the -oy-bay.

 

[Triskelion]

Captain Archer: Oh boy.

 

[Isis]

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Well, I guess all that's left to say is, come here and give your father a hug, Wesley.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead! I'm honored.

Geordi: Now Captain, you're sure this cardboard cutout of you will fool the Mintakans into releasing Counselor Troi?

Picard (over comm): You know as well as I that the Book of the Great Bird says to try every nonviolent approach before using force. Energize!

Picard: No Beverly, I'm afraid it's much worse than that. He's been caught hacking into Ensign Lefler's laundry chute.

 

[R. Star]

-gasp- Another contest without a win?! I'm losing my touch!

Data: Are you sure this is ethical, Lieutenant?
Worf: This will teach Chief O'brien to remeber to log off his Spacebook account when going off duty.

LaForge: Captain, you know you don't -have- to go to Lwaxana's birthday party just because you were invited?

Picard: I already powered down weapons and lowered shields, is it really necessary to raise my hands Tamalok?

Riker: Gerodi why the hell aren't you wearing any pants?!

Picard: Why are you here Mr Worf?
Worf: I am serving child support papers via Doctor Crusher's request.
Crusher: It's time you took responsibility for Wesley!

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Worf: "I have no idea what these controls do."

Data: "Neither does Chief O'Brien."

Worf: "So that's why he looks so worried every time he beams us."

Picard: "Mistah Data... set phasers to frag."

Picard: "We are peaceful explorers, and we come in peace. If you'll lower your shields, I can destroy - ah, come over to discuss this ."

Riker: "Geordi, you barely have any money or minerals in this game save. No wonder you have to keep probing planets..."

Geordi: "It's that, or spend another 86 hours exploring planets in the Mako. Fuuuuuuuuck that."

Picard: "Tell that son of yours that it's Mr. Worf's turn to save the ship."

 

[Finn]

Picard: Whatever you do, don't tell the doctor

Data: Yes, Sir

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: I've still no idea why that beagle materialized on the transporter pad.

WORF: You want I should leave, so the two of you can have sex?