TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybody!

[LeadHead]

Happy Friday to everyone! Sorry to those who routinely post on Saturday mornings, I've just been late so often recently, I wanted to be early for once!

First up to the plate, we have the "X-Men Untied, I Mean UNITED" Award, going to:

Kamala: "It's an ancient translation of a piece of an Earth prophecy. Note the descriptions of Professor Xavier and Jean Grey."
Picard: "I admit there is a resemblance, but surely you don't mean that we must emulate..."
Kamala: "It is destined."
Picard: "Tell me. Does the word 'fan-fic' exist on your world?"
Kamala: "I don't understand."
Picard: "Forget it. I'll get the baby oil and the restraints."

Batting second, we have the "Thinking ahead" Award, going to:

Geordi: "Yeah, Worf, we'd all like to-but who's going to clean Fried Wesley off the Navigation station?"

In the third position, we have the "Standing up, or rather sitting down, for principles" Award, going to:

Picard: ...And we're not leaving till we get our replacement blu ray discs with the fixed sound!

Batting Cleanup, we have the "Odd Picture Selection, LeadHead" Award, going to:

Data: "Oh my God! What is it?!"
O'Brien: "Stand back! I'll shoot it!"
Troi: "Will you two calm down?! It's just my hand! And it's not even on the floor; it's just the camera angle!"

Swinging for the fences we have the "Who says doom and gloom can't be pleasant?" Award, going to:

Computer: Warning! Core breach in progress! Abandon ship and have a nice day!

The Photoshops were both great this week, I couldn't choose, so awards for both!

Picard: "Commander Riker was right, the chicken wings are quite remarkable."

And...

Indiana: It belongs in a museum!

A Multi Pic Caption Award, going to:

Wesley (off screen): Don't phase me bro!
Picard (off screen): He's right Mr. Worf, this is neither the time or place to shoot the boy.

Picard: You may proceed, Mr. Worf.

Kamala: Have you gotten to the part where you conduct the chastity inspection?

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to all of our winners! Great contest, lets go for another!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

Riker didn't know that Picard and Crusher were telepathically linked and sharing details of Riker's last Physical Exam and performance reviews.

La Forge: Worf, hurry!

Worf: zzzzzzzzzzz.....

Worf: Lieutenant La Forge has arrived on the Bridge, Captain.

Picard: Excellent, we need to repair that turbolift. How soon can you do that Geordi? Geordi?

Picard transforms into living lensflare.

Picard: Can you communicate with it?

Crusher: So far, it's been using sign language and implying you have an inappropriate relationship with your mother...

 

[TorontoTrekker]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

Despite being raised by humans, Worf had never experienced the game of "tag" until today.

After failing to stick the landing, Laforge received a score of 2.8 from the Klingon judge, leaving him out of the running for a medal.

 

[SmoothieX]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

Crusher: Who is this Frakes guy directing this episode? The camera angles are terrible and every scene needs 14 takes.
Picard: Yeah, what a shmuck.

La Forge: Your scans were correct, Data! There is free beer and pizza on this planet. Hurry!

Geordi's attempts to flop like a European soccer player were improving by the day.

Captain Picard attempts to 'lighten' the mood.

Picard: Astonishing, it really is a new life form. Contact me on the bridge as soon as it's capable of giving a handjob.

 

[Isis]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

Little did Riker know that when he got back to his quarters, he would find that his bed was short-sheeted.

Even before JJ Abrams, Star Trek always had a "flare" for the dramatic.

The TNG-Addams Family crossover was not well received.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

Thanks for the win!

Riker: "Is everyone on this ship but me getting laid? That's against the terms of my contract."
Picard: "Geordi scored last night, with a real life humanoid too."
Crusher: "I got a compic from Wesley yesterday, he got an invite to the annual Red Squad orgy."
Picard: "I had to put both Deanna and Worf on report for damaging the bulkheads..."
Riker: "Sonovabitch!"

Geordi: "Is that...?"
Data: "Spot! Bad kitty."
Crusher: "I have my sanitation kit, Worf you..."
Worf: "Klingons do not poop-a-scoop!!"

Worf: "Weiner on the bridge!"

Picard: "Okay, okay! I'll reconsider the toupee!"

Picard: "Yes, very realistic. But can it facepalm?"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Riker (thinking): "Yeesh! They show up drenched in sweat and grinning like a couple of possums eating persimmons, and I'm supposed to act like I don't know what's going on?"

Picard: "Aha! I knew it! The more I learned about this caper, the more convinced I was that Vash had a hand in it!"

 

[Holdfast]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

PICARD: Why yes, Number One, the doctor and I certainly worked up a good sweat.

GEORDI: Run! This Worf is a fake, and it's rigged to blow!

The Turbolift operates a strict No Jacket, No Service rule.

PICARD: Damn you, Jello. When will these senseless drownings cease?

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

Worf: "Jazzy Jeff on the bridge."

 

[Finn]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

Picard: Don't even about it, captioners!

 

[shivkala]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

While Riker was still confused as to how and why he agreed, Crusher and Picard were practically giddy about getting him to agree to their menage a trois.

Due to his stoic nature, no one noticed Worf beamed down his wax statue with the away team, until danger struck and the crew needed to get out of there fast. Side note: The Worf wax statue sadly did not survive.

Worf: *to himself* And he wonders why he can never get a girl.

Director: Mr. Stewart, please tilt your head up, we're getting a bad glare off of your head.

Picard: Doesn't it figure. We can now clone whole bodies, but even in the 24th Century, I still can't regrow my hair!

 

[Ln X]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

Thanks for the win LeadHead!

Picard: We humped each other like rodents! Can you believe it Number One?

LaForge: No Commander! Don't look into Medusa's eyes!

Worf: Evening lieutenant... May I suggest the Jeffrey's Tubes if the turbolifts are giving you trouble?

Riker: All hail to the glorious Orb of Light! It shall in its place take the position our captain once occupied!

Picard: Remarkable... Can it also form hair as well?

 

[R. Star]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

Picard: A penile fracture?!
Crusher: That's right.
Picard: Number One.. take the day off. You need it.

Even as the Crystalline Entity closed on them, Worf stood his ground valiantly. Some say he died a hero, some say he was just sick of being the butt of all the jokes on the Enterprise.

For some reason Commander Data never assigned Worf to turbolift monitoring again after this incident.

Picard: I really am a god! Look at me!
Crusher: Jean-Luc, masquerading in front of a few primitives doesn't count.
Troi: You should make an appointment so we can discuss your megalomania.
Riker: Been there, done that.
Data: What is this human obsession with divinity?
LaForge: If you're really a god, prove it by getting me laid... no? Thought not.

Picard: What the hell is this thing?
Crusher: How did you know it's name?

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

RIKER: Yeah, you guys had sex. Big whoop. Even Wesley had money in that pool.

LAFORGE:Free tribbles!!!!!! Come on Worf, let's get some! Worf?

WORF: Oh yeah, Wesley did something to your VISOR.

RIKER: Careful, Captain. V'gr probes tend to seek out the person with the least hair.

CRUSHER: It calls it's self "Miss Thing" and apparently is all that.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

Picard: "Beverly, would you join me in a laugh if I said that Commander Riker's head looks like a beaver?"

Worf: "Oh gee, danger and excitement. I only see that on DS9 about 20 times a day."

Geordi: "You know, some of us are getting real tired of that attitude of yours!"

As an April Fools prank, Beverly replaced Geordi's visor with a hair clip.

Silicon-Based Picard: "This meeting of ugly bags of mostly water is adjourned."

Picard: "Beverly, could you give me a hand with this?"

 

[Finn]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

Picard: *telepathically* I almost forgot...Geordi got that holoprogram from O'Brien. Charles Tucker died during the last NX-01 mission....

Beverly: *telepathically* Didn't he die as the Commandant of Starfleet Academy in the 23rd Century?

Picard: Yeah, but the buffoon behind us doesn't know that!

 

[Isis]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

Worf had been winning the footrace until, all of a sudden, he realized he left his raktajino pot on.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

Thanks FTW!

Riker:... And I've got a great photoshop caption for that picture of Worf firing his phaser that will bring the house down. Took me hours to put Betty White in exactly the right position but it's going to be worth it... What?

Picard: Caption Contest ended a few hours early this week... sucker!

Geordi: Last one to the tree gets nothing to do in the films!

Worf: Geordi... the Olympic closing ceremony was a week ago. If they were going to hire you to dance behind Eric Idle, you'd have heard by now.

The crews keen sense of observation made them suspect Q could very possibly be onboard.

Picard: One well placed phases and *BANG* no more child support payments!

Crusher: Errr... actually I just worked out it was a Daimon Bok trick and he wasn't your son after all.

 

[Finn]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

Harry Kim: (out of view) I'm not that desperate!

 

[BriGuy]

Re: TNG Caption This! 279: It's a great day for the Federation everybo

Worf: SQUIRREL!

A Klingon fart in the turbolift?
Worf: Only kind I know...

William Shatner did make a guest appearance on Next Gen. You just may not have recognized him through his ego.