Ordinarily, (Especially in the case of Jellico) I'm the first to harp on Riker being rather arrogant, stubborn, short sighted, & down right defiant with just about anybody but Picard, not to mention the lame stagnation of his career goals, BUT, in the case of Shelby, she had it coming
If you're ballsy enough to step aboard & tell the person you will be answering to on your mission that he needs to gtfo of your way, then you should be prepared to be pissed on, & not be so juvenile as to run to the captain or the admiral who's ass you've been kissing, in order to get your way. You opened your mouth. Put your big girl pants on & take your lumps. My favorite moment is when Geordi tells Data about her erring. He knows the score, & knows she's pushing it
I wonder what it says about Riker that he was so standoffish with Ro, and only to go to bed with her after they'd both had their memories wiped?
I think it was supposed to be a statement about both of them having prejudged one another & allowed it to form their opinion of one another & let that opinion be a major factor in their working relationship
Riker had always seen Ro as someone who didn't have the necessary principles to be in Starfleet & follow their rules (In a way he ends up being right too). Ro had always taken to Riker as a bossy, dogmatic, close-minded authoritative figure, which wasn't without its merit either, really.
Basically the point was that both of them, for reasons that weren't necessarily unwarranted had developed a certain amount of animosity toward one another due to prejudice, & bad 1st impressions. Once they had their memories wiped, all that no longer existed, & they were given a chance to develop an open minded relationship, where for the 1st time, they actually communicated with one another considerately, which changed how they related to each other drastically, such that they actually found one another's other personality traits attractive
In a weird way, Conundrum was a very good episode for character dynamics, even if some of the plot points were a bit lame. The Worf/Picard leadership interactions were equally as interesting as Riker/Ro. If only there had been time for Picard & Crusher to perhaps notice their own underlying relationship potential, unfettered by long standing inhibitions