Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility be?

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

An ol' boy I used to haul hay with, who was 10 years my senior (at the time I was 17) told me: "Never F*#k a woman you wouldn't marry!" He went on ..."...cause when a kid comes around you're hooked for life!"

Are people just totally ignorant about condoms?

FFS wear two of them if you're paranoid. Carry them with you at all times if you're someone who hopes for unexpected sex. Don't ever believe anyone telling you they are on the pill/tubes tied/infertile. Even if the woman IS on the pill she could have forgotten one or be on some medication or get gastro or something that makes it less effective.

 

[Gov Kodos]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

An ol' boy I used to haul hay with, who was 10 years my senior (at the time I was 17) told me: "Never F*#k a woman you wouldn't marry!" He went on ..."...cause when a kid comes around you're hooked for life!"

Are people just totally ignorant about condoms?

FFS wear two of them if you're paranoid. Carry them with you at all times if you're someone who hopes for unexpected sex. Don't ever believe anyone telling you they are on the pill/tubes tied/infertile. Even if the woman IS on the pill she could have forgotten one or be on some medication or get gastro or something that makes it less effective.

But the bucolic pastiche of farms and elders, doesn't that lend authority beyond the mere condescension of addressing the audience as kiddies? Condoms and forethought, next you'll be saying sex isn't only for procreation.

 

[Kestra]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

An ol' boy I used to haul hay with, who was 10 years my senior (at the time I was 17) told me: "Never F*#k a woman you wouldn't marry!" He went on ..."...cause when a kid comes around you're hooked for life!"

Are people just totally ignorant about condoms?

FFS wear two of them if you're paranoid. Carry them with you at all times if you're someone who hopes for unexpected sex. Don't ever believe anyone telling you they are on the pill/tubes tied/infertile. Even if the woman IS on the pill she could have forgotten one or be on some medication or get gastro or something that makes it less effective.

Well, two would make it worse but yeah, you can double up on birth control. I was on the pill and made him use condoms anyway for a long time.

 

[Miss Chicken]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

An ol' boy I used to haul hay with, who was 10 years my senior (at the time I was 17) told me: "Never F*#k a woman you wouldn't marry!" He went on ..."...cause when a kid comes around you're hooked for life!"

Are people just totally ignorant about condoms?

FFS wear two of them if you're paranoid. Carry them with you at all times if you're someone who hopes for unexpected sex. Don't ever believe anyone telling you they are on the pill/tubes tied/infertile. Even if the woman IS on the pill she could have forgotten one or be on some medication or get gastro or something that makes it less effective.

The first time I got pregnant was a result of gastro even though I didn''t have sex following the gastro. I got pregnant as a result of sex I had before I got sick.

My third pregnancy was as a failure of an IUD that was still properly placed.

"Double-bagging" when it comes to condoms is a bad idea because there is friction between the two condoms making tears more likely.

 

[RoJoHen]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

Some of the best parents I know are not married. Hell, one of my friend's parents didn't get married until all 3 of their kids were grown up and living on their own. I went to their frickin' wedding! My roommate actually stood up in his parents' wedding when he was 3 years old. They later got divorced, but they're still great parents.

Sex, marriage, and parenting can all be very different things.

 

[horatio83]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

He brings up a point tho, its 100% effective, all the time.

Nope it doesn't as it ignores the human sex drive. Right-wingers who preach abstinence basically preach ignorance about contraceptives which leads to more unwarranted pregnancies.

 

[iguana_tonante]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

enthusiasm for abstinence

That's a contraddiction in terms.

As far as Im concerned as soon as that fetus develops a heartbeat(6-8 weeks), its alive. I understand not everyone will agree with me, but thats ok.

The core of personhood is not heartbeat, it's neural development. The fetus doesn't develop brainwaves in the cerebral cortex until 22-24 weeks. I'd say it's a good cut off poit.

I realize that alot of you on here consider yourselves "modern", "sophisticated", "educated", "liberal minded", "open minded" and what ever.

An ol' boy I used to haul hay with, who was 10 years my senior (at the time I was 17) told me: "Never F*#k a woman you wouldn't marry!" He went on ..."...cause when a kid comes around you're hooked for life!"

I know there are those of you who are Pro Choice and all that but folks...imho... what separates us from the animals is our ability to choose and do the right thing! Choose not to have sex before marriage. If you can't do that, then choose not to have unprotected sex.

The bottom line is this kiddies...if you screw you could make a baby. I don't care what your political\social line of thinking is, but like Doctor McCoy has always said "There is nothing more precious than life, any kind of life!"

Girls! If you make a child with a fella, he's just as responsible for that youngster as you are. (that's why the whole family dynamic was introduced. Making children is supposed to be a "family thing" not who has "legal jurisdiction!"

Now that's just my thinkin' and any of you yaywho's that want to make nasty comments toward me please remember that your rudeness will be met with my apathy!

and to you I say "Good bye!"

 

[BillJ]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

Yet another reason people should not have sex unless they are married.

My Grandma was a devout Christian woman and even she told me you don't buy a pair of shoes without trying them on...

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

"Double-bagging" when it comes to condoms is a bad idea because there is friction between the two condoms making tears more likely.

This I didn't know, thanks. Not that I have ever tried "double bagging", LOL.

 

[1001001]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

Abstinence fails far more often than condoms do.

And there are other effects. I love Bill Maher's take on the abstinence program. It's probably too NSFW to post here, but you can easily find it. It's funny, and dead on accurate.

 

[Gaith]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

I agree with the line of thinking that it's unfair but the alternatives are worse BUT you'd be surprised at how hard it is for mothers to get men who are not/never were married to them to pay for child support. For example, if a woman ends up pregnant after a one night stand it can be really difficult for the woman to get the courts to act.

I guess that that's the sanest practical answer to a potentially very knotty problem...

You are seriously suggesting that a father should have have the right to choose to care for his child or not, that parental responsibility should be optional just because some guys are too stupid or too lazy to use contraceptives?

Contraceptives, as has been noted, doesn't always work. Suppose two people have a one-off encounter with both parties agreeing on the use of a contraceptive, but it fails and a pregnancy occurs. If the woman decides to have the child - and no one here is suggesting she doesn't have that right - should the guy be necessarily responsible for child support?

Yes, this sort of scenario is no doubt extremely rare in the overall field of child-support disputes. Doesn't mean it isn't worth contemplating.

 

[RoJoHen]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

You are seriously suggesting that a father should have have the right to choose to care for his child or not, that parental responsibility should be optional just because some guys are too stupid or too lazy to use contraceptives?

Contraceptives, as has been noted, doesn't always work. Suppose two people have a one-off encounter with both parties agreeing on the use of a contraceptive, but it fails and a pregnancy occurs. If the woman decides to have the child - and no one here is suggesting she doesn't have that right - should the guy be necessarily responsible for child support?

Yes, this sort of scenario is no doubt extremely rare in the overall field of child-support disputes. Doesn't mean it isn't worth contemplating.

No contraceptive is guaranteed 100%. So yes, even taking precautions, a man is still responsible for the consequences of his actions.

 

[horatio83]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

Contraceptives, as has been noted, doesn't always work. Suppose two people have a one-off encounter with both parties agreeing on the use of a contraceptive, but it fails and a pregnancy occurs. If the woman decides to have the child - and no one here is suggesting she doesn't have that right - should the guy be necessarily responsible for child support?

Yes, this sort of scenario is no doubt extremely rare in the overall field of child-support disputes. Doesn't mean it isn't worth contemplating.

Just because condoms are not fail-safe doesn't mean that you have no responsibility when you screw around. Ask her if she takes the pill if you are so worried, condom plus pill make the pregnancy likelihood insignificantly small. And if you are worried that she might lie to you because she wants to become pregnant by a stranger, well, if you have sex with psychopaths you are still responsible for the consequences.
Not that in this hypothetical case the woman isn't seriously screwed up but it is not really something you could handle legally. That's why there is nothing worth contemplating, if you impregnate a woman you are always responsible for it.

 

[RoJoHen]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

Penis + Vagina = Potential Pregnancy. It doesn't matter how many firewalls you put up. Something could still happen.

 

[Gaith]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

horatio83, I did mention myself in the OP, but I'd appreciate it if, when replying to hypothetical situations such as the one I outlined, you'd refrain from changing my "one guy's" to "you"s. I'm not worried about having possibly slept with pyschopaths, and would rather the discussion not imply otherwise.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

Don't put your dick into a woman's vagina unless you are prepared to accept any and all potential consequences--and that includes child support.

For once, I agree with you.

 

[horatio83]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

horatio83, I did mention myself in the OP, but I'd appreciate it if, when replying to hypothetical situations such as the one I outlined, you'd refrain from changing my "one guy's" to "you"s. I'm not worried about having possibly slept with pyschopaths, and would rather the discussion not imply otherwise.

You are a happy man, I definitely am.

About your sensitivities, you can mean you in the literal sense and it can mean one.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

Contraceptives, as has been noted, doesn't always work. Suppose two people have a one-off encounter with both parties agreeing on the use of a contraceptive, but it fails and a pregnancy occurs. If the woman decides to have the child - and no one here is suggesting she doesn't have that right - should the guy be necessarily responsible for child support?

Of course he should be. Two people made the child; two people are responsible for her well-being.

 

[Thestral]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

He brings up a point tho, its 100% effective, all the time.

Nope it doesn't as it ignores the human sex drive.

Abstinence fails far more often than condoms do.

I'm sorry, this is like saying condoms don't work if you don't put them on. If you're relying on abstinence to prevent pregnancy and then decide to abandon it, it doesn't mean that it failed any more than condoms fail if you don't use them.

The mechanism of abstinence is obviously foolproof, but that doesn't change that abstinence-only sex ed is profoundly stupid and only causes problems. But unless you're a 14-year-old girl from 1st Century Palestine named Mary, not having sex = no chance of pregnancy.

 

[horatio83]

Re: Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies: what should guys' responsibility

Abstinence is not a mechanism, it is an illusion. If your libido is weak you do not really abstain from anything and if your libido is average or strong you sooner or later fail at being abstinent. As nobody with a sane mind and an ordinary libido does abstain from sex the very people who do it amd fail at it are the victims of lack of education, hence the high teenage pregnancy ratios in the Bible belt.