Movie Caption Contest #216: Voyage to the Ends of the Trilogy

[LeadHead]

Good Evening everyone! Sorry about the delay in the start on this one, lets get going!

First up to the plate, we have the "Paging Modern Medicine to Room 6" Award, going to:

McCoy: The hell do you mean, you've changed your primary physician?
Kirk: Bones, as much as I value your committment to hands-on medicine, when I get a screening for prostate cancer the last thing I want is for you to insist on doing it the OLD FASHIONED WAY.

Next, we have the "Ah, so here's where the wheels came off the wagon..." Award, going to:

Sulu: Oh, my!
Scotty: What is Uhura doing?
Chekov: Where are her clothes?
McCoy: Where did she get those palm fronds?
Saavik: This is not the time or place for her to be dancing. Logic dictates that she should refrain and save that for a more opportune time.

Next, we have the "Starship Operations" Award, going to:

Kirk: Uhh... That's not good when our warp core floats away like that is it?

Our Photoshop Award goes to:

Kirk: "That's no moon..."

McCoy: Are you just going to WALK through this plothole?
Kirk: Calm yourself, Doctor...

Thanks to everyone for participating and Congrats to our winners! Now, lets head onto The Voyage Home...

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

McCoy: So, we could stay here on Vulcan with no problems or go back to Earth and all go to jail?

Kirk: Yeah.

McCoy: But you're not supposed to be a repeat offender until NuTrek!

Commander: Hey, Spacebooking on the job is against the rule- wait... let me see that... when did my girlfriend break up with me?

Spock: As you can see Admiral, the only people we could find to repair the Internet were Scotty and McCoy.

Kirk: I'll never play STO again, will I?

Spock: No Sir.

 

[BriGuy]

Kirk: I can't believe they painted that on the side of the ship.

McCoy: Jim, the other side says, "Kirk is a poopie head."

Guy on left: It's OK. I forgive you. You don't have to sleep on the couch tonight.

Kirk: Are McCoy and Scotty fixing the ship?

Spock: No, sir.

Kirk: Are they playing make believe motorcycle gang members again?

Spock: Yes, sir.

 

[BriGuy]

Kirk: Ship ready to go?

Spock: Almost, sir.

Kirk: Good. Computer, record captain's log...

Computer: petaQ!

Spock: It's still a Klingon ship, sir.

Kirk: ... I see...

 

[Maurice]

KIRK: "The quicker picker upper"?
BONES: Wrong historical irony, Jim.

BLONDIE: The Excelsior will save us.
BRUNETTY: It's only a model.
BLONDIE: Shhhh!

KIRK: And that 20th century girl won't put out.
SPOCK: [colorful metaphor].

 

[BriGuy]

"Blondie" and "brunetty," I like that...

Blondie: Excelsior ready to depart.

Brunetty: How? Look how big it is and how small the doors are. It will never fit through! How did they ever get that in here???

Blondie: It's a matter of perspective and distance, you see. The doors are bigger than the ship, they're just far away...

Brunetty: No, the ship is too big!!! It's going to hit and explode!!! We're all gonna die!!!

Blondie: I give up.

 

[BriGuy]

Brunetty: No, see, if you put a "/pacman" after the address, you can still play the game right in the browser...

Blondie: Amazing that they've kept that available all these centuries...

 

[inflatabledalek]

Kirk: I took the name from my favourite episode of Due South.

McCoy: The one with Leslie Nielson on the train was better.

Brunetty: So who's the Captain of that one, Stan Lee?

Kirk: Guys, no need for the glasses, we're thirty years too early for the 3D craze.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

McCoy (whispering): "Psst! Jim! You'd think we'd be used to them after six months, but those are still the dorkiest hats I've ever seen!"

Kirk: "Dust or no dust, Mr. Spock, a commanding officer must display an image of strength!"
Spock: "May I suggest, Captain, that the image of a teary-eyed commanding officer could be even worse? I ask you again for permission to ask Dr. McCoy and Mr. Scott where they got those goggles."

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Be careful what you do Jim or these damn Oompa Loompas will make a song about it.

 

[shivkala]

Kirk: *looks at the name being painted on* Bones, anything I should know before I captain this ship and crew back to Earth?
McCoy: No, can't think of a thing...

Officer #1: So then, as the credits role you see...
Officer #2: Dude, spoiler warning, I haven't seen it yet!
Officer #1: Uh, Avengers has been out for 274 years, I think we're a little past the "Spoiler Warning" window here...

William Shatner: Why are DeForest and Jimmy wearing goggles and using welding torches?
Leonard Nimoy: Remember when you thought we were joking about having to build a separate dressing room for your ego?
William Shatner: Yeah, you guys love to tease me about my ego. But what's that got to do with what they're up to over there?
Leonard Nimoy: Well, the thing is...we weren't joking...

 

[Lance]

Blonde Guy: "... oh, and Darth Vader rang while you were out. He says he wants his Death Star back."

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Damn kids and their tagging. This used to be a nice neighborhood.


KIRK: Keep it down Bones, they might hear you.

SHATNER: Why are DeForest and Jimmy wearing goggles and using welding torches?

Nimoy gives him a hard glare.

SHATNER: So I guess you found out were I hid your bike.

 

[BriGuy]

Blondieude, what is it?

Brunetty: It's my ex-girlfriend. She's updated her Spacebook status to "in a relationship."

Blondie: That sucks, dude. Do you know the guy?

Brunetty: No. But he just posted a status update on her wall, "I here am new. To this woman, I am welcome."

 

[BriGuy]

Kirk: I knew that Vulcan punk on the hoverboard was going to be trouble...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Blondie: "You know, I could have been captain of that ship..."
Brunetty (sighs): "Here we go again."

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Any chance we'll get some leniency on our sentences, Jim?"

"About as slim as a black hole opening up in the center of Vulcan and swallowing itself."

"EX-CEL-SEE-YORE!"

"All right, that was funny the first couple hundred times you did that. Open a channel to Captain Styles and inform him we're at yellow alert. I always love his reaction."

"I've been reviewing our chances of escaping the Sun's gravitational pull, taking into account the weight of George and Gracie and... *sniff* Admiral. It was highly illogical to expel flatulence while inside the whale tank being constructed by Mr. Scott and Dr. McCoy."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

McCoy: "I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but with all the material the Vulcans are already contributing to refitting this ship, you'd think they could throw in a set of stencils."

 

[inflatabledalek]

McCoy: Hey, you alright Jim?

Kirk: I'll get over it, but next time I suggest writing the name in blood convince me not too.

 

[Kirby]

Hey, thanks for the win!


McCoy: I never thought I'd say it, but I'm going to miss this place Jim. The Vulcan gangstas are polite, and their tagging mostly consists of literary references and math equations.

Blondie: Looks like I picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue!
McCoy (offscreen): I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.

Kirk: Whales... Great. Big. Heavy. Whales. The probe could have wanted to talk to Dachshunds or parakeets, but noooooooooo, we have to find whales.