Fine, it's your business. I won't judge you for your sex life, just don't tell me that I can't be human unless I have sex.
The stigma of being a virgin loner (must end)
- Thread starter CaptainPipcard
- Start date
Fair enough, but that's not how you come across. You remind me of one of those non-drinking types looking down on all those idiots who go out partying and getting drunk while you're into more intellectual pursuits. You might not mean it that way, but that's the message I'm getting from you.
Of course they are both judgemental. That's the whole point. Beside, you can't have it both ways: if you think it's immoral to have sex before marriage, you think people should not do it. Obviously, you cannot force people to abide to your morality, but I'm pretty sure you would wish they would share it, and you already demonstrated your willingness to communicate your view. On the other side, people cannot force you to have sex, but they hope you would do it, and they have every right to tell you that. So, nobody is forcing anyone, but everybody is judging everyone. You find people judging you annoying. I find people judging me annoying. Unfortunately, we have to learn to deal with this annoyance.
I am fine with disagreements. And, truth to be told, I have no problems dealing with "disrespectful" disagreements, too.
But a judgement is a judgement. Even if "respectful". Let's not pretend otherwise. It's ok, actually: people "judge" others all the time. I do it. You do it. Everybody does it. Admit it, and you will have less troubles dealing with people.
doubleohfive
Fleet Admiral
Did someone actually say that? In that way? In this thread? And, of course, non-ironically??
I think the overall gist of the matter is that to have sex is a very human thing to do. Sex is a part of everyday life, and that those who abstain are the exception rather than the rule. There should not be any value judgments placed on either side of that coin.
Does it make you less human if you choose not to have sex? No.
Does not having sex deprive you of a very basic, very human experience and need? Absolutely.
There are differences between the two, and it sounds like this thread has opened the floodgates for people to be confused about it.
I think the overall gist of the matter is that to have sex is a very human thing to do. Sex is a part of everyday life, and that those who abstain are the exception rather than the rule. There should not be any value judgments placed on either side of that coin.
Does it make you less human if you choose not to have sex? No.
Does not having sex deprive you of a very basic, very human experience and need? Absolutely.
There are differences between the two, and it sounds like this thread has opened the floodgates for people to be confused about it.
Okay, gotcha. I just gotta learn to handle disagreements of my views. Thanks.
So if someone tells me to get laid, I'll stay calm and tell them "Sex is not really my thing", and leave it at that.
Plenty if folks do not want sex but not wanting to fall in love and share (party of) your life with somebody is rarer.
Given your defensive stance it doesn't appear to me that you are totally happy with your situation and just bullshitting yourself with this celibacy thing because you do not dare to fall in love (which is after all not merely a wonderful but also a horrific thing) or whatever.
Of course I could be wrong but it just seems strange to me that somebody who is so totally sure about what he wants would open a discussion with a defense or talk about something which is so totally natural to him in the first place.
doubleohfive
Fleet Admiral
Well, it all depends on the context of the conversation. Why are they telling you to "go get laid" ? Are you being overly rigid about something? Or are you talking about your personal choice to remain abstinent?
It's mostly about my nerdy hobbies and interests. (pc games, the internet, trek, etc.)
That's one way to handle it. A very diplomatic one, too.
Personally, I think you should tell them "I am not having sex for religious reasons", and if they comment/question/mock your position, tell them to fuck themselves.
But on the other hand, I am not a very diplomatic person.
doubleohfive
Fleet Admiral
The iguana is wise.
Don't say that, a healthy go fuck yourself can be very polite, safe time for everybody and so on.That's one way to handle it. A very diplomatic one, too.
Personally, I think you should tell them "I am not having sex for religious reasons", and if they comment/question/mock your position, tell them to fuck themselves.
But on the other hand, I am not a very diplomatic person.
But they're right in their assumptions about me. And I'm not being sarcastic when I say that I prefer not to have sex.
doubleohfive
Fleet Admiral
OK. So what's the problem then? The fact that they're right, or the attitude that having sex will "solve" whatever problem they think you have?
With all due respect - how old are these people?
With all due respect - how old are these people?
Besides, actually, it's not people I talk to. It's something I see in some media.
Let me give you an example (8:54 of this video)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JV15UAHTzxE
Let me give you an example (8:54 of this video)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JV15UAHTzxE
Then it's just a general "get a life" comment about your interests? Then I think you are reading too much into it, probably because of your personal experiences. They don't probably mean anything more that "go out more and relax".
doubleohfive
Fleet Admiral
^ Yeah, if that's all it is then definitely, the OP needs to chill. But...
Wait.
Wait wait wait.
I am confused.
So it's NOT people you actually know who are teasing you about this, but one (bad) actor, doing a review about TMP and Ilia's (hamfisted and awkwardly written) introductory scene that bugs you so much?
Wait.
Wait wait wait.
I am confused.
So it's NOT people you actually know who are teasing you about this, but one (bad) actor, doing a review about TMP and Ilia's (hamfisted and awkwardly written) introductory scene that bugs you so much?
^
In other words, obnoxious guy on the internet is being obnoxious.
Who knew?
In other words, obnoxious guy on the internet is being obnoxious.
Who knew?
Whenever the media shames celibates, or single people (nerds without girlfriends, etc.).
doubleohfive
Fleet Admiral
Well, then you need to grow a thicker skin.
I'm not saying its right that other people have this attitude, but if you let every last comment get to you, you're just going to make yourself miserable.
There's nothing wrong with the choice you've made in how to live your life. As long as you don't try to force it on other people, or demean them because they make different choices, you're a-ok. Stop being so insecure about it.
I'm not saying its right that other people have this attitude, but if you let every last comment get to you, you're just going to make yourself miserable.
There's nothing wrong with the choice you've made in how to live your life. As long as you don't try to force it on other people, or demean them because they make different choices, you're a-ok. Stop being so insecure about it.
I have been told that statement before, actually, but it was about taking criticism for some mods I made for a space flight sim.
Thanks for your help.
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