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I think my girlfriend is a Christian! Advice needed.

It has the promise of a "Three's Company" episode.

Maybe this is the MB story with the misunderstanding?
 
Yesterday was crazy! We spent almost literally the entire whole day together!

Almost literally?! WOW! I mean that must be amazing to you! I mean, it's not like you've engaged in orgies, homosexual-sex, incest, been a surrogate father and had sex with an adult woman before, so clearly spending the whole day with some Christian chick must be amazing!

I was nervous at first when I met her and almost blew things by acting jittery.

If things aren't blown 30-seconds after showing up then I'd say you're in the clear.

But I calmed down after basking in her presence for a while and realizing what a cool, relaxing person she really is! We really meshed together really well and it was like we'd been seeing each other for years.

Given your concept of time and the continuity these threads tend to have I'm surprised it hasn't been years.

We went for a long walk together.

Oh wow! Be still my beating heart!

This was good but a bit tiring.

Says the guy who was once a MMA fighter and worked in a gym,


I eventually said "where are we walking to?" and she admitted she didn't know and we both laughed and went to the mall.

You went to the mall? Are you a couple of bored teenagers living in 1996? Who goes to the mall anymore? I didn't know there still were malls.

After hanging out for a while she asked if I wanted to see a movie and what movie did I want to see. Remembering what she'd said about Underworld, I smartly avoided suggesting that (even though I still really want to see it!)

... I thought you did go see it?

[/quote]I decided to avoid anything with action or drug-use or sex in case that offended her and suggested seeing The Muppets instead. She agreed and we had a great time! [/quote]

I bet you did have a good time... seeing a movie that's been out of theaters for several weeks unless you went to a $1 theater in which case, wow, big spender.


She has a great sense of humor as she laughed ALOT. She even laughed at some jokes I didn't get.

There were jokes in a Muppet movie you didn't get.... Okay I need to process that.

And no, we didn't kiss or anything during the movie, that would have been rude as there were lots of kids there. And I didn't want to miss any of the plot.

There was a plot in the Muppet movie that rapt you up so much you didn't want to miss it... Damn, my processing cache is backing up.

We went for another long walk after.

So this long day-date has consisted of walking, a mall, a movie and more walking. When did a "date" for you go from groping family members to acting like a senior citizen?

I thought of breaching the subject of religion but was having too much of a good time. She then asked if I wanted to go back to her place. Well! That was sudden! I said yes this time. It was her who had suggested it, after all, so she must have really wanted to do it.

Yes. If she suggested going back to her place she obviously really wanted to go there.

Unfortunately, she lives with her parents and they were home.

Most college girls tend to live with their parents, in a dorm or in a sorority. Sometimes in a shared home with a bunch of other girls. Of all the options you could have gone with you went with the most boring one. Congrats.

She didn't seem surprised to see them, so I was confused as to if she'd invited me back for sex or not. I said hi to them but she looked embarrassed and took me up to her room. Her dad shouted "keep the door open" but I don't know if he was joking.

Don't worry he as talking about her hymen.

She checked her phone when we got up there (she'd hardly check it all do and I had hardly checked mine either other than to text Thames my thoughts on The Muppets (it was great!) which I think shows how serious we already are) and said she had to call her friend.

Yes... you.... texting Thames about the Muppet movie really shows how serious you are about... Christian Girl? Thames? T-Mobile?


She walked out of her room and left me there. Naturally I couldn't resist looking around. I dind't see anything that indicated Christianity or any other religion. I was happy, even if she was a Christian at least she wasn't one of those really serious ones who had crosses and photos of Jesus all over her room.

Justin Beiber. You're confusing religion with Justin Beiber. It happens, but still.

Then I noticed her computer. It was turned on. Did I dare look?

You dare.

I really really strongly considered not doing so.

For about as long as Data considered agreeing to the Borg Queen's offer.

What was I even hoping to find?

Porn.

But she was taking an awfully long time to come back and I was standing here without anything to do.

Girls will take awhile in the bathroom.

So I casually moved the mouse to turn the screensaver off and looked at the screen.

She has a screen-saver? I'm guessing her mouse had a ball in it too.

I opened Firefox, suddenly thinking I could check her bookmarks to discover more about her beliefs.

Because if you want to know one's theological and/or political beliefs the bookmarks is the first way to do it!

It's something everyone does with the opportunity.

Except people with a sense of morality and the privacy of others. Well, at least you're looking at her bookmarks and not her underwear drawer.

I couldn't see anything too unusual. In fact she hardly had any sites at all bookmarked, which in itself was unusual.

Not really.

She did have a message board that seemed to be about girl's problems bookmarked, but out of respect I didn't look at it and check to see what she'd been posting under her account.

Well, that's.... something, I guess.

Instead I want to YouTube. She was logged in. I quickly looked at her favorites. Nothing too interesting, mostly boys singing and stuff.

Justin Beiber, I knew it!


But then I saw this video.

http://youtu.be/4sP63mfn0gg

Oh. My. God. No!

WHAT THE HECK!!?!? Why would she have this vide on her favorites!? Was she on the side of the Creationist!? Or the side of the Evolutionist!? I couldn't tell!

But you can't tell which handle is for the "hot" water and which is for the "cold." We all have our issues.

But obviously she was VERY interested in the subject because this video is actually all the way from Britain...

The one in Montana?!

...in the UK...

Oh. That makes sense too.

...so she must have been really searching quite hard for information.

Hard enough to put "Creationists and Theologists debate" in to Google, I following a link in an article she read or any number of ways people can find things on the Internet.

I was really shaken by this. I quickly shut Firefox and nearly ran out of her house.

A common reaction to seeing a fairly benign video of boring theological discussion. Quite rational and expected... Well rational and expected for you.

But she came back in at that point. I told her I had to leave. I couldn't ask her about her beliefs now, she'd know I'd been innocently looking at her computer.

You were innocently doing squat.

When we went downstairs her dad asked if I wanted to stay for dinner. This was pretty weird too.

Clearly you're misinterpreted this kind gesture anyone would extend toward another human being.

Could her dad be a reverand or something!?

Could be. Or it could be he's nice.

I didn't know and frankly I didn't want to know yet. So I said no and got out as quickly as I could.

I don't know what to do now. We had such a good time until this ruined it. Why can't anything ever go smoothly.

Still not seeing the problem. She might be Christian.

So. What?!
 
photos of Jesus

That's my favorite bit.

And dude you know maybe someone sent her that video to say "OMG look how hilarious these people are" and she laughed her ass off at it and now it is in her favorites. Did you watch it? Does it focus on the particularly colorful fundies? Or is it stodgy and full of white lab coats? You should watch it so you can figure this out.

A long time ago I had someone accuse me of believing something because I had a bunch of skeptic info on it, they were so dumb all they saw was the subject and not the interpretation. Don't be dumb like that.
 
^Back when Squiggy use to do the line-by-line rebuttals, his contributions were the best things about these threads. The man was comedy gold.
 
I know, it's Baggins, it doesn't need that kind of stalkerish overanalysis.
He's stalkerish enough as it is. Looking at her computer? Why didn't you just look for her diary, while you were at it? Or in the drawer of her nightstand to see what size dildo she likes?
 
The last person I know who snuck around and looked at the content of someone else's computer ended up in a major fight and their friendship came to a sad, crashing end. I had to hear the story for days. I learned eons ago that you don't nose around on someone else's computer without their express permission. It's not just stalkerish...it's dickish. An idiot gets what they deserve when they pry into someone else's business like that. :rolleyes:
 
I guess some of you haven't seen The Muppets because it's actually really intelligent and has a very involved plot. Kermit is a legend!:vulcan:

As for MB's new post, I have to say that I would NEVER date a creationist. I would bolt faster than a nerd at the sight of a pretty girl.

You know, I'm starting to think she isn't a creationist. It's really incromprehensible that she could be. Today at college we were all sitting together and someone used the common phrase "that's human evolution for you!" for some reason (I wasn't really listening until they said that) and she didn't even blink. Isn't it possible that she USED to be a Christian or creationist but now she's having doubts and looking at things online? I know Richard Dawkings has saved many religious pople and he often posts videos of them thanking him online. With some careful movement I could now contrive to show her Dawkings videoes...but maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. My mind does run away with itself sometimes.

2) A Bible on a shelf means nothing. I'm an atheist and I have two (KJV and some other)

Isn't KJV that guy who writes bad Dune books?:confused:

I bet you did have a good time... seeing a movie that's been out of theaters for several weeks unless you went to a $1 theater in which case, wow, big spender.

It's not he price that's important (look how much those Transfoerms movies cost to make) but the quality of the movie. And this was top level.

A long time ago I had someone accuse me of believing something because I had a bunch of skeptic info on it, they were so dumb all they saw was the subject and not the interpretation. Don't be dumb like that.

As mentioned above, I'm trying not to be dumb like that. I think she could be a skeptic. I think she had Snopes bookmarked, come to think of it. I didn't even know that website was still around.

Trekker4747, Are you a bloody PI or something? I have yet to see a more overanalyzed post, mate.

LOL, don't worry about it, fella, Trekker and I go way back. We always do this dance, but we're friends really. His advice has helped me out before.

The last person I know who snuck around and looked at the content of someone else's computer ended up in a major fight and their friendship came to a sad, crashing end. I had to hear the story for days. I learned eons ago that you don't nose around on someone else's computer without their express permission. It's not just stalkerish...it's dickish. An idiot gets what they deserve when they pry into someone else's business like that. :rolleyes:

I didn't even mean to. When I was alone in her room I wasn't even thinking about looking at her computer at first. I almost just did it on instinct. I wasn't trying to find anything private out about her, just her religion.
 
Yes, well, you might want to do something about those instincts of yours. I'm pretty sure if she'd walked in on that you would have had larger issues than her religion to deal with.
 
Lulz.

"I wasn't trying to find anything private out about her, I was just snooping on her computer to see if I could find anything private out about her."
 
MB sure puts in a lot more efforts on these threads than most others here. I only know of MB's history by reputation. But has anyone found him to be inconsistent in some of his previous stories?

Or if everything he says is factually and logically consistent, which would strongly suggest he is truly describing reality rather than fantasy, then MB is indeed one disturbed fellow.
 
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