Re: DS9 Caption Contest #48: Garak, (Insert Occupation of the Week Her
LOL, Nerys, that's just sooo wrong
DS9 Caption Contest #48: Garak, (Insert Occupation of the Week Here)
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest #48: Garak, (Insert Occupation of the Week Her
Kira: Great job, Doctor, your boring speech not only made the Maître d' fall asleep, but now Garak's catatonic...
No, no, no, you've got it all wrong. This is most certainly NOT a conga line.
Ezri: Poor Garak, you never really recovered from Julian's last boring speech.
Garak: Actually, I'm quite fine, but it saves me from having to hear another of our esteemed doctor's tirades, so if you'd kindly unhand me and let me go back to pretending to be catatonic, I'd be a lot happier.
Nog: Wow, Empok Nor looks exactly like Deep Space 9. Almost as if the model department's budget for the season was running low and they had to use existing models instead of building new ones.
O'Brien: What the hell are you on about, Ensign? Of course it's not the same, see, it's tilted.
Nog: *rolls eyes* Of course, Chief, my mistake *under his breath* ya' drunken excuse for an engineer...
Kira: Great job, Doctor, your boring speech not only made the Maître d' fall asleep, but now Garak's catatonic...
No, no, no, you've got it all wrong. This is most certainly NOT a conga line.
Ezri: Poor Garak, you never really recovered from Julian's last boring speech.
Garak: Actually, I'm quite fine, but it saves me from having to hear another of our esteemed doctor's tirades, so if you'd kindly unhand me and let me go back to pretending to be catatonic, I'd be a lot happier.
Nog: Wow, Empok Nor looks exactly like Deep Space 9. Almost as if the model department's budget for the season was running low and they had to use existing models instead of building new ones.
O'Brien: What the hell are you on about, Ensign? Of course it's not the same, see, it's tilted.
Nog: *rolls eyes* Of course, Chief, my mistake *under his breath* ya' drunken excuse for an engineer...
Re: DS9 Caption Contest #48: Garak, (Insert Occupation of the Week Her
Garak: "Tailor"...that is obviously me. "Soldier"...is Major Kira, of course. And, Doctor, clearly you are the "Spy".
Bashir: Garak...?
Garak: Oh, I'm simply wondering where the "Tinker" is. "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier..."
Kira and Bashir: Wrong spy novel, Garak!
Garak: I see....
Garak: (Whispering) Now...when they lift the rifles--we plunge.
Nog: (Whispering) But I don't have a parachute!
Garak: Oh, spare me, Nog--be creative! We fall into the lake--
Nog: But what if there is no lake?
Garak: Then...we pray for a last-second transport.
Ezri: Come on, everyone has a soft side, Garak. Worf does, Benjamin--everyone does. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Garak: Well, I don't.
Ezri: Sure.
Garak: I can assure you, Counselor, any "softness" is trained out of agents of the Order. I'd suggest you find a different method of therapy than appealing to my inner...my inner marshmellow!
Ezri: Don't worry, Garak--I won't tell a soul.
Garak: Ability to trust was trained out of me as well, Miss Dax!
Sisko: Well--you certainly left the body intact.
(Garak-stiff topples over....)
Worf: More or less.
Garak: I was under the impression that this..."roller coaster ride" was supposed to be thrilling.
Pilot: Isn't it? Look at that!
Garak: Yes--but I feel nothing.
Pilot: Well...the intertial dampeners are off. We don't want to get--
Garak: Hence...we feel nothing.
Garak: "Tailor"...that is obviously me. "Soldier"...is Major Kira, of course. And, Doctor, clearly you are the "Spy".
Bashir: Garak...?
Garak: Oh, I'm simply wondering where the "Tinker" is. "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier..."
Kira and Bashir: Wrong spy novel, Garak!
Garak: I see....
Garak: (Whispering) Now...when they lift the rifles--we plunge.
Nog: (Whispering) But I don't have a parachute!
Garak: Oh, spare me, Nog--be creative! We fall into the lake--
Nog: But what if there is no lake?
Garak: Then...we pray for a last-second transport.
Ezri: Come on, everyone has a soft side, Garak. Worf does, Benjamin--everyone does. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Garak: Well, I don't.
Ezri: Sure.
Garak: I can assure you, Counselor, any "softness" is trained out of agents of the Order. I'd suggest you find a different method of therapy than appealing to my inner...my inner marshmellow!
Ezri: Don't worry, Garak--I won't tell a soul.
Garak: Ability to trust was trained out of me as well, Miss Dax!
Sisko: Well--you certainly left the body intact.
(Garak-stiff topples over....)
Worf: More or less.
Garak: I was under the impression that this..."roller coaster ride" was supposed to be thrilling.
Pilot: Isn't it? Look at that!
Garak: Yes--but I feel nothing.
Pilot: Well...the intertial dampeners are off. We don't want to get--
Garak: Hence...we feel nothing.
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest #48: Garak, (Insert Occupation of the Week Her
Garak: "Major, Doctor... it's not polite to stare."
Man: "It's better if they get it over with."
"Im telling you guys there's gold here, just trust me and my short father here, one more time!"
Ezri: "You know for a tailor, this shirt is really baggy."
ncc71877
Garak: "Major, Doctor... it's not polite to stare."
Man: "It's better if they get it over with."
"Im telling you guys there's gold here, just trust me and my short father here, one more time!"
Ezri: "You know for a tailor, this shirt is really baggy."
ncc71877
Re: DS9 Caption Contest #48: Garak, (Insert Occupation of the Week Her
Ezri: Now,dear Garak, there's no need to suffer because you don't have a bifurcated woddy like the vulcans do, no one on the station would go to bed with you anyway, because you're a cardassian spy..you just have to accept it ...and visit the holosuits
Ezri: Now,dear Garak, there's no need to suffer because you don't have a bifurcated woddy like the vulcans do, no one on the station would go to bed with you anyway, because you're a cardassian spy..you just have to accept it ...and visit the holosuits
Re: DS9 Caption Contest #48: Garak, (Insert Occupation of the Week Her
First (for it is he): "By the order of our most august and dread secret lord.."
Others: "ALL HAIL!"
First: "...you are to be taken from this place and executed immediately!"
Nog: "Its Jake isn't it."
First:{Temporally speechless} "How...how do you know!"
Nog:{smugly}"The mind wiper wasn't quite as effective as he thought. I'll take a thousand bars to maintain his silence..."
First: "Alright. And this Cardassian?"
Nog: {evilly}: "What Cardassian?"
Garak: "I hate Ferengi"
Several days later:
Bashir: "Garak, what the hell's up with you. You come back from an away mission with Nog, you return alone and over the last few days Jake's gone missing and you've not said a word to anyone here except for Odo. C'mon something must have happened to you."
Garak: "There is nothing that I'll say to either Human or Ferengi thank you. Leave me be..."
Bashir: {thinking furiously} Oh Crap, he knows everything...
OdoKira: "That's right Doctor or should that be Agent 007? We all know!"
Bashir: "I picked a bad day to go to the holodeck..."
First (for it is he): "By the order of our most august and dread secret lord.."
Others: "ALL HAIL!"
First: "...you are to be taken from this place and executed immediately!"
Nog: "Its Jake isn't it."
First:{Temporally speechless} "How...how do you know!"
Nog:{smugly}"The mind wiper wasn't quite as effective as he thought. I'll take a thousand bars to maintain his silence..."
First: "Alright. And this Cardassian?"
Nog: {evilly}: "What Cardassian?"
Garak: "I hate Ferengi"
Several days later:
Bashir: "Garak, what the hell's up with you. You come back from an away mission with Nog, you return alone and over the last few days Jake's gone missing and you've not said a word to anyone here except for Odo. C'mon something must have happened to you."
Garak: "There is nothing that I'll say to either Human or Ferengi thank you. Leave me be..."
Bashir: {thinking furiously} Oh Crap, he knows everything...
OdoKira: "That's right Doctor or should that be Agent 007? We all know!"
Bashir: "I picked a bad day to go to the holodeck..."
Re: DS9 Caption Contest #48: Garak, (Insert Occupation of the Week Her
Garak: My dear doctor do we really have to bring the Major along to this holosuite program?
Bashir: Yes Garak we do, she will make the perfect damsel in distress...
Kira: What?
Garak: Yes about that... Couldn't I play that role?
Nog: Damn you Garak! I know you peeved off your people, but what did you do to peeve off the Jem'Hadar?
Garak: You don't want to know...
Ezri: It's okay Garak you'll get through this claustrophobia, I promise.
Garak: (thinking) Claustrophobia isn't my problem lady it's sexual repression...
Sisko: What's going on here?
Worf: Security found Garak in a restricted area of the Defiant...
Sisko: And what were you doing in this restricted area Mr Garak?
Garak: I just wanted a little change of scenery, this station can look so samey and dull sometimes.
Sisko: (sighs) Place him in a holding cell Mr Worf.
Worf: Aye sir!
O'Brien: Bloody hell Garak what happened to the station?
Garak: Well don't look at me! For once I'm innocent of this incident!
O'Brien: Huh! That'll be the day!
Garak: My dear doctor do we really have to bring the Major along to this holosuite program?
Bashir: Yes Garak we do, she will make the perfect damsel in distress...
Kira: What?
Garak: Yes about that... Couldn't I play that role?
Nog: Damn you Garak! I know you peeved off your people, but what did you do to peeve off the Jem'Hadar?
Garak: You don't want to know...
Ezri: It's okay Garak you'll get through this claustrophobia, I promise.
Garak: (thinking) Claustrophobia isn't my problem lady it's sexual repression...
Sisko: What's going on here?
Worf: Security found Garak in a restricted area of the Defiant...
Sisko: And what were you doing in this restricted area Mr Garak?
Garak: I just wanted a little change of scenery, this station can look so samey and dull sometimes.
Sisko: (sighs) Place him in a holding cell Mr Worf.
Worf: Aye sir!
O'Brien: Bloody hell Garak what happened to the station?
Garak: Well don't look at me! For once I'm innocent of this incident!
O'Brien: Huh! That'll be the day!
Re: DS9 Caption Contest #48: Garak, (Insert Occupation of the Week Her
Ezri: (chuckling) Sorry, Garak...I'm taken.
Garak: Did--did I say--?
Ezri: No. But you're trying your best not to stare at me. I'm flattered, though.
Ezri: It's okay Garak. You'll get through this claustrophobia, I promise.
Garak: (thinking) Claustrophobia isn't my problem, lady. It's sexual repression...
Ezri: (chuckling) Sorry, Garak...I'm taken.
Garak: Did--did I say--?
Ezri: No. But you're trying your best not to stare at me. I'm flattered, though.
Re: DS9 Caption Contest #48: Garak, (Insert Occupation of the Week Her
Ezri: I thought you went to an all boys school.
Garak: And...?
Garak: ...Counselor, you're cutting off the circulation in my arm!
Ezri: And?
Garek: You remind me of my first love, from when I was at school.
Ezri: It's okay Garak. You'll get through this claustrophobia, I promise.
Garak: (thinking) Claustrophobia isn't my problem, lady. It's sexual repression...
Ezri: (chuckling) Sorry, Garak...I'm taken.
Garak: Did--did I say--?
Ezri: No. But you're trying your best not to stare at me. I'm flattered, though.
Ezri: I thought you went to an all boys school.
Garak: And...?
Garak: ...Counselor, you're cutting off the circulation in my arm!
Ezri: And?
Re: DS9 Caption Contest #48: Garak, (Insert Occupation of the Week Her
Garak: Counselor--are you presuming my freedom was limited to the school? You insult me!
Ezri: It sounded like you were insulting me.
Garak: I wasn't.
Ezri: There you go.
Garek: You remind me of my first love, from when I was at school.
Ezri: It's okay Garak. You'll get through this claustrophobia, I promise.
Garak: (thinking) Claustrophobia isn't my problem, lady. It's sexual repression...
Ezri: (chuckling) Sorry, Garak...I'm taken.
Garak: Did--did I say--?
Ezri: No. But you're trying your best not to stare at me. I'm flattered, though.
Ezri: I thought you went to an all boys school.
Garak: And...?
Garak: ...Counselor, you're cutting off the circulation in my arm!
Ezri: And?
Garak: Counselor--are you presuming my freedom was limited to the school? You insult me!
Ezri: It sounded like you were insulting me.
Garak: I wasn't.
Ezri: There you go.
Re: DS9 Caption Contest #48: Garak, (Insert Occupation of the Week Her
Blame Myk for that. I was just trying to save....
Blame Myk for that. I was just trying to save....
Re: DS9 Caption Contest #48: Garak, (Insert Occupation of the Week Her
I was thinking of you when I included the last two lines.
Re: DS9 Caption Contest #48: Garak, (Insert Occupation of the Week Her
Garak: I swear to God, if you leave a crease in this shirt...
Re: DS9 Caption Contest #48: Garak, (Insert Occupation of the Week Her
I'm touched Myk; so was Garak actually fondling himself in you-know-where? If he was then that is wicked!
I'm touched Myk; so was Garak actually fondling himself in you-know-where? If he was then that is wicked!
