TOS Caption Contest #246: Touched By A Vulcan!
- Thread starter A.V.I.A.F.
- Start date
Guard: Ooooo.... that tickles.
Spock: I said, hit the deck. Let me force the issue.
Spock: My mind to your mind. Fascinating. You have killed many brain cells since the last mind meld....
Spock: Fascinating, Nurse Chapel stalks me in both universes.
Spock: You will change your name to Ronald Tracey...
Scotty: (over comm) Scotty here, Sir.
Kirk: Scotty, she's sitting about 3 feet in front of me, all ready to be my pal. Of course, I'd love to show her the ship, but you know how it is...
Girl (offering squeeze container of honey to Shatner): "Honey?"
Shatner: "Sweetheart!"
Spock: "Sirs, you both have invisible multi-legged creatures crawling on your shoulders. Allow me to measure you for flea collars."
Spock, in his eagerness to demonstrate the Vulcan Neck Pinch on yet another unsuspecting victim, failed to notice that the Ensign's phaser was aimed right at him...
Spock: "Mr. Scott! It was YOU who stole my Plomeek Brandy! Still, you did manage to drink the Kelvan under the table with it, so I will let you off... this time."
Scotty: (thinking) "Oh, my god! No wonder I didnae know what that green stuff was! I think I'm goin' tae be sick..."
McCoy: "For god's sake, Spock! Why won't you just admit it - I finally beat you! You lost the Alpha Quadrant Connect Four Championship to ME!!!"
Thank you for picking one of mine as the winner from the last batch!
Let's see what I can do with this batch........
Guard 1: "Geez, Fritz. First fairies, then elves. Dude, you're gonna cost me medals..... Fritz? FRITZ?!?"
Jaris: "All this attention for lil' ol' me?"
Spock: "It's all right, Ensign. The monsters have left my closet."
Spock: "You look distressed, Mr. Scott."
Scotty: "I'm just wonderin' whut yer doin' wi' yer other hand...."
McCoy: "But there's no such thing as the Vulcan Death Grip!"
Mirror-Spock: "That's your universe, Doctor. Not mine."
Spock: "This is the most life-like CPR dummy I have ever seen."
Kirk: -to himself- I think I like it on Risa........
Let's see what I can do with this batch........
Guard 1: "Geez, Fritz. First fairies, then elves. Dude, you're gonna cost me medals..... Fritz? FRITZ?!?"
Jaris: "All this attention for lil' ol' me?"
Spock: "It's all right, Ensign. The monsters have left my closet."
Spock: "You look distressed, Mr. Scott."
Scotty: "I'm just wonderin' whut yer doin' wi' yer other hand...."
McCoy: "But there's no such thing as the Vulcan Death Grip!"
Mirror-Spock: "That's your universe, Doctor. Not mine."
Spock: "This is the most life-like CPR dummy I have ever seen."
Kirk: -to himself- I think I like it on Risa........
Girl: Oh come on! I've seen you shirtless like a hundred times already on TOS.
The Star Trek-It Takes a Thief crossover was not well received (much to the disappointment of Commodore Mendez).
Mirror Spock: "You know, Doctor, the proportioning of your facial features is nearly flawless. Fascinating."
Woman: "Suntan lo...?...er...Sorry, I see you're already oily enough."
A.V.I.A.F.
Captain
Spock: (burps) OK ensign, I gotta come clean (burps again). I'm drunk and I threw up all over my cabin. Go find a mop and a bucket, I'll be in Sulu's quarters giving him hope again (breaks out in drunken laugh). A'ight, later bitches!
Spock: "Careful, Ensign! This could be a trap!"
Ensign: "Right you are, sir! Now get your hands up and get inside!"
Spock: "Damn! Alright...but on one condition: Doctor McCoy must never hear of this!"
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A.V.I.A.F.
Captain
Bikini Babe: Excuse me, do you mind if I ask you a question?
Kirk: Why no, not at all.
Bikini Babe: That man sitting behind us, is that Carl Spock?
Kirk: (grabs his towel and storms angrily away).
Spock: Now, Mr. Scott, blow your left nostril hard, all of the mucal matter will dissipate out of it, thereby making your sinus cavity clear, and you will have no more mucus. Be warned, if you blink your eyes while you do this, you will be permanently blind.... and impotent.
