CapCon 80: Seventh Heaven

[Nerys Myk]

But first,

THE WINNERS!

Uh, thanks? Award

Klingon: I like you. I'll kill you last.

Elegant Weapon Award

You're Out!!! Award

T'Pol still couldn't bat to save her life. However, the last three men who tried to adjust her stance ended up in sickbay.

Fanny Pack Award

Klingon: "Hey, take it easy! I was talking about the 20th century Earth rock band! 'Fanny' doesn't mean the same thing in America or on Qo'noS that it does in England or on Vulcan, you know! Yeesh!"

River Song Award

Trip: "Wait, you're tellin' me that I blow myself up?"

A Pattern You Say Group Award

Trip: Nice to meet you, Ben Finney. I'm sure things are gonna go great in your life.

Trip: What's your name, kid?

Kid: Eddie Riker, from Valdez, Alaska.

Trip: Nice to meet ya, Eddie. I'm the first Chief Engineer of the Enterprise. Remember that! You can tell your grandkids about how you met me.

Eddie: If you say so.

Ben Finney? Eddie Riker? Do I sense a pattern forming here?

Trip: "I dunno, Anton. I understand you love acting, but I think your father's probably right: politics would be a more secure field to go into. Besides, doesn't 'Senator Karidian' or 'Governor Karidian' have a nice ring to it?"

A pattern, you say?

Trip: "Garth, huh? That's a funny name. You seem like a smart kid. Maybe some day you'll end up in Starfleet, too."

A pattern, you say?

Trip: "Well, Ronnie, being captain of a starship is a big responsibility but you seem like a level-headed kid. I'm sure you'll do fine. Oh, say, while we're talking, could you put in a good word for me with your father, Admiral Tracey?"

A pattern, you say?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Trip: Nah, Matt Decker, you should really stop taking those anti-depressants.

A pattern, you say?

I don't know what you're talking about.

TRIP: Advice? Well, don't be a douche. You don't wanna hear "That Niles Barris, what a douche.".

Trip: "You know, kid, when it comes to entertainment, you show a real flair for figuring out what people want. You should think about opening up your own amusement business someday. 'Wrigley's Miniature Golf' or something."

TRIP: Gotta tell ya, Tiberius, if you have a kid go with a normal name "George".

A pattern, you say?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Trip: Nice to meet you, Jean-Luc Picard. Don't worry, I'm sure those dreams where your hair falls out won't come true.

Trip: "Harry, this needs to stop. It's not nice to keep tricking and cheating your schoolmates out of their lunch money."
Young Harry Mudd: "Well, they keep making fun of my name, so why not?!"

Young Sarek: Where all the human women at?

Trip: You know, Bobby Wesley, you look like another kid I met named Giotto...

Your prize is brought to you by the number "7"

 

[Nerys Myk]

And now this contest's pics:

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win!

T'Pol: "I don't know which I find more disgusting and insulting: that you actually had the gall to ask me for a lap dance, or that you placed a towel over your lap in anticipation!

Archer: "You are no longer in charge of planning our shore leaves! When we say we want to 'rough it,' we mean we want to go camping in the woods or something like that! Not show up in a seedy Klingon bar with 'Kahless Likes Little Boys' printed on the backs of our jackets!"

 

[lfvoy]

"You're right. Some movies really can be interesting enough to want to watch them even when you should be working."

 

[Sokath]

Phlox had way overdone it with the lemon Pledge in the decon chamber.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

T'pol: "Captain, we recieved an urgent message from-"

Archer: "Can it wait? I'm in the Jonny Zone."

T'pol: "Captain, I do not understand why-"

Archer: "AH! Jonny Zone."

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

T'Pol: Captain, I'm afraid you missed the point last night when I said we should have breakfast together.

T'Pol: Interesting, so Senator Kelly was dead by the end of X-Men 1, but in X-Men 2, Mystique appears as Senator Kelly.

T'Pol: I'm afraid I can't find anyone to get us off this planet. The only person who might've was just recruited by a kid and an old guy with a lightsaber.

Seriously, people. I think this is more annoying than Lens Flare.

 

[TMStepper]

T'Pol: "Captain, I have not touched your..... Eggo."

T'Pol gazed intently into the picture. But try as she might, she couldn't make out the ducky.

Archer: "Let me guess. You picked this place because your LARP buddies go here, right?"

Portrait of an allergy sufferer.

 

[Captain Crow]

Thanks for the win.

Archer: T'Pol, stifle yourself.

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER: "I spilled some coffee in my lap. Wanna help me clean up, baby?"

"I've already seen this episode of LAW & ORDER. Next channel, please."

"Dammit, T'Pol! Stop ordering drinks for Travis!

We're on a tight budget, for Pete's sake...we don't have the money!"

Dear Eveready...

I was going through the Plak Tow when all of a sudden...

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER: WAIT...

It's...it's not what you think. It was cold in my ready room!

 

[Admiral Shran]

T'Pol: "I don't know which I find more disgusting and insulting: that you actually had the gall to ask me for a lap dance, or that you placed a towel over your lap in anticipation!

Archer: "So, is that a no"?

 

[cooleddie74]

T'Pol couldn't help but be completely immobilized in the Care Bears' Yellow Ray.

 

[Admiral Shran]

T'Pol: This is the raunchiest porno I've ever seen.

Archer: We don't have enough credits to cover the tab. They say either you do some topless dancing on the bar or I have to wash some dishes. Travis and I agree - the bar's over there.

Sauron: I.... SEE.... YOU!

 

[cooleddie74]

T'POL: "Most illogical.

The male character's next action should have been to divorce Meredith Baxter-Birney."

ARCHER: "Where everybody knows your name MY ASS.

Come on. Let's get Travis and get the hell outta here."

Enterprise's snazzy new tanning beds weren't without their drawbacks.

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER: "Oh, come on. Be a sport.

Get down here and get a better look at this.

You know you love it!"

 

[Bob Karo]

Archer: Well, that's the whole planet. Still no sign of poor Mr. Merriwether...

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER: "Don't tell Travis...but I have only enough bus fare to pay for you and I to get home."

TRAVIS:"Sir?!"

ARCHER:"Nothing!"

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER: "Come.

Sit on Santa Archer's lap. Tell me what you want for Christmas.

And we'll see what pops up."

 

[boco]

Archer: Don't look so surprised, I stopped eating with my hands, only in my underwear and stopped using my shirt as napkin after the last time you bursted in without knocking