TNG Caption This! 246: Danger! Danger, Will Riker!

[LeadHead]

Happy New Year to everyone! Thanks for another great year of great captions, great photoshops and most of all, a HUGE number of laughs.

First up to the plate, the "First Mission hijinks" Award, goes to:

Picard: Check it out; I'm going to park the ship upside-down and see if anyone notices.

Batting second, we have the "We did that on purpose, now start cleaning" Award going to:

Wesley: "Damn! That's one hell of a bugsmear."
Guinan: "Don't swear, kid. Besides, you're the acting ensign on this tub. Get your sponge and spacesuit."

Third in our lineup, we have the "GO 49ERS!" (Sorry fans of other teams) Award, going to:

Yar (OS): "I realize it's the fourth quarter, the score is tied, and there's a playoff berth at stake. But I need one of you to distract the Romulan infiltrator so I can knock him out immediately. If I don't, the whole ship will be in jeopardy. Surely one of you can spare thirty seconds, right?"

Batting Cleanup, we have the "William Shatner Award for, That's not what I meant when I said 'Get a Life!'" going to:

Crusher: Dammit, Jean-Luc, every time I see you you're plugged into some new gadget. There's more to life than social networking!

Swinging for the fences, we have the "It's tough getting on the good side of Howie Martok, Sharon B'Etor and Gowron Stern" Award, going to:

Both Picard & Worf felt a little silly after having gotten 3 Xs on Qo'nos' Got Talent

Hitting for the cycle, we have "The most Ethical Captain in Starfleet" Award, going to:

PICARD: Report, Number One

RIKER: Pure silver, sir.

PICARD: We're rich!!!!!

LAFORGE: Won't this screw up the timeline or something?

PICARD: Who cares? We're rich!!

Heading to the Pitchers mound to close out the last batters, we have the "Moment of Truth" Award, going to:

It was at this point that Patrick Stewart decided to stop judging the costume contests at the conventions.......

Our Photoshop Award goes to:

Riker: "Alright, give us the cereal. We're really hungry!"
Troi: "Don't hurt him! He's so cute and colorful."

Riker: "It's an ancient Earth movie called 'The Wicked Lady.' Check out the topless lady with the whip."
Picard: "My God! The resemblance is remarkable!"
*turbo-lift doors swish open*
Troi: Hi! What are you all looking at?"
Riker, Picard, Worf and Data: "Nothing!!"

And with that, the final winners of 2011 are crowned! Thank you to everyone who has posted a caption all through the year! Congrats to this weeks winners! And now, since there are some Doomsday Predictions for next year, lets get ahead of the curve and defeat them with funny captions!

Happy New Year to everyone!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: You don't know what it's like in our universe! The Federation's gone, the Pakled are EVERYWHERE!

Worf: Judo Chop!

La Forge: This Sucks!

Data: (over comm) You mean, "that blows."

Crusher: Shut up Data!

Picard learned the hard way to never insult the main computer.

Worf and Data made quick work of the Flash Mob.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Worst dating video ever:
"I like animals, long walks on the beach, quiet romantic dinners..."

Picard: "Hey, assholes! We're up here! And we're cloaked! Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!"

McFadden: "God, I miss Jerry Finnerman! Now there was a guy who knew how to light a scene!"
Spiner: "Just how old are you?"

 

[bullethead]

Riker: We're not going back! Picard was right! He was right about the children right from the start! They took over everything! We're the only adults left!

Worf was irritated to learn that he could only win fights in Klingonsplotation movies and took out his frustrations on the nearest extra.

Crusher: What's going on?
Geordi: We're being sucked into a plothole!

Picard: Goddamn it Turbolift Control, I said Ten Forward, not the Portal of Doom!

Shelby: How many times do we have to redo this stupid dance move? I'm going blind here!

 

[Holdfast]

RIKER: What? No, no, I can see you just fine... Yes, it's OK here... OK, just hang up, and I'll call you back on the landline...

Worf had the best pimpslap in the Empire.

CRUSHER: Jean-Luc promised the next promotion to me!
GEORDI: He promised it to me first!
CRUSHER: It's mine!
GEORDI: Mine!
LADDER: Relax guys. There are enough rungs on me for both of you.

Picard forgot that Deck 12 wouldn't be installed until next Tuesday.

Why people in the 80s wore sunglasses indoors.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: And item #103 of my manifesto: The color green is banned!!!!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Excerpt from the Starfleet guide Tips for Dealing with Klingons: "When a Klingon says 'Talk to the hand,' you had better talk fast."

 

[Skywalker]

Worf: "FUS RO DAH!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

You really haven't "talked to the hand" unless you've done it in the original Klingon.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Riker: I used to be like you, Picard...then I took an arrow in the knee.

 

[Skywalker]

Alt-Riker: "Please, don't make us go back! In our universe, TNG never got the HD treatment! It's horrible!"

 

[T'Girl]

Riker: "ZZ Top is holding auditions, and I am so out of here."

Worf: "K'Ehleyr, if I told you once, I told you a thousand times, no wire coat hangers."

Worf: "What's that bright light."
Shelby: "It my future."
Crusher: "I got'a wear shades."

.

 

[Finn]

Riker: you don't know what it's like in our universe. Deanna is the helm officer. I'm not going back!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Riker: In our universe, we all wear beards like this. We do it to honor our glorious Emperor, Brian Wilson.

 

[Nerys Myk]

From The Star Trek A Film By Ken Burns:

VO (Read by Alec Baldwin): "My dearest Deanna,

I fear this war shall never end. Our enemy is formidiable and strikes with no warning from the shadows. Our Captain says we must persevere, but I fear he has gone mad..."

-Commander William Riker, USS Enterprise UFP Starfleet 2365

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Riker: "...And as if all that weren't bad enough, I'm not wearing pants!"

 

[Finn]

Riker: "...And as if all that weren't bad enough, Wesley cloned himself a couple years back

 

[Sokath]

Commander La Forge and Dr. Crusher could hear Worf's blasting Klingon opera all the way from his quarters to the cargo bay.

Patrick Stewart guest-starred in an episode of Doctor Who.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Americans could never understand why Europeans thought the NTSC system was crap...

How Michael Dorn deals with autograph hunters.

Geordi: Do you really want to die a virgin?

Picard: My God... It's full of stars!

Shelby: Right, so if we kill Picard I get made a regular and the rest of you get promoted one place up the credits with a pay rise? Lets get the bastard!

 

[Finn]

Geordi: Do you really want to die a virgin?

Beverly: sure, I'm a virgin