Sexy or Creepy?

[Misfit Toy]

Putting myself in his shoes for a moment (a dangerous method, but bear with me), if he was completely on the level and he felt the chemistry and the romance of the moment, I can see his pressing the full-blown kiss. I confess I've done the same a time or two (when dinosaurs roamed the earth).

The breast grab, however, pushes it too far, IMO. I think that's too forward. If he had stopped at the kiss, I think you'd get a different reaction from some of the posters.

Just my two cents.

 

[SPOCKED]

Creepy indeed, stranger grabbing at someone he doesn't know? Spocked had the right idea with calling 911.

Somehow I feel that you description of the incident might be coloured by your own fears and inhibitions.

Or perhaps by the endless number of news stories about missing women - those who are later "found" in the most horrific circumstances. And we wonder... HOW - how in the world did this happen??? Sometimes it happens with a stranger who stalks and molests, which is undeniably what happened here.

 

[Alidar Jarok]

Offering to accompany someone home and getting their approval is stalking? Qu'est un monde etrange.

(je voudrais parler en francais pour le rest de le thread, mais ne parle pas francais).

 

[iguana_tonante]

Or perhaps by the endless number of news stories about missing women - those who are later "found" in the most horrific circumstances. And we wonder... HOW - how in the world did this happen??? Sometimes it happens with a stranger who stalks and molests, which is undeniably what happened here.

Bad things happens. Should we avoid any human contact except by the barrel of a gun because of that? No, wait, don't answer.

Or perhaps your "shotgun daddy" approach is nothing but your deep-seated fear of sex and paternalistic attitude towards women because you know what's best for them, which is undeniably what is happening here.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I sense a lot of jealousy in this thread.

Bottom line, the situation could've gone either way. If he read your body language, saw an opening, and went for it, and you didn't shove him off of you and run away, then it would be hard to call it creepy. Chemistry is in the moment, and it either works or it doesn't. Clearly, he was struck by you when he first saw you, and it's possible he had the whole thing planned, but it was still clever of him to find out if you spoke any French, and use that as a springboard to an extended conversation (and more.)

If you aren't bothered by it, then that's all that matters. Sounds to me like he's a smooth operator, but there's nothing wrong with that.

 

[iguana_tonante]

I sense a lot of jealousy in this thread.

I really wanted to mention that, but I was trying to avoid it. Now thanks for taking the weight off my shoulders.

 

[Emher]

Warning, big post.

^You're right, of course, which is why it sucks that I feel so ambiguous about it! Though I have realized, in having to defend against the ridiculous notion that this amounts to an assault, I'm leaning more toward the romantic/sexy end of the spectrum than when I first posted this thread.

I have that reaction at times as well, sort of going against the majority just because. It's a fun feeling, is it not?

^That's how I'm feeling about it more and more...and I'm wondering if I'm just conveying the mood of the experience accurately enough!

Simple! 35mm, perhaps Super 16 for that realistic feel. Backlight from the setting sun. Wide shot of the two of you walking on the bridge and reach the high point, the start of the goodbye, "Bijou bijou, and then you go to Manhattan and I go to Brooklyn." Cut to full shot.

He agrees, the kiss, half shot, close ups on his hands and on your faces, the surprise in your face perhaps. The kiss ends with a wider close-up of both your faces.

He askes for coffee, you say maybe. He turns back to Manhattan. Full shot. Then wides shot as you both go your separate ways. Scene.

When I read your post, my first thought was how would I react to such a situation, and for me, it would be a welcome one, albeit surprising! To be fair, too, I love human contact. I'm very tactile. I like to touch and be touched, though I always respect those who do not.

Same here As well as with the physical part. I'm polite though most of the time and let people be. But mostly, human contact is great.

It all depends on how attractive he was. If the most attractive woman came out of nowhere and kissed me without even introducing herself, that would be sexy. If she was unattractive, on the other hand... um... well.. I'm unattractive, so even starting a conversation with a women is considered creepy. At least that's what they say every time I do. That's why I only admire them from a distance, although that almost got me in trouble once.

Oh I couldn't disagree more! While attractiveness undeniably plays a role in this things, you must remember that everyone has different tastes. Between my three roommates and you'll find very different tastes in men...I'll be drooling over someone, and all my roommate can say is "really?" She'll bring home a man she thinks is gorgeous and all I can think is, "Girl, you could do better."

On top of that, I've met some very attractive, VERY CREEPY men. And some unattractive, totally awesome men. These traits are not mutually exclusive.

Very true! One of my friends is getting married this spring. He met someone about 3 months ago, and they just fell right into love. Several people have told him that he could do better, and I've heard the same on her side, that her friends don't approve, and I find it all to be a bit silly, as if love and attraction is dependent upon what others think.

Now, while this may not be love in your case, it's still a special moment in which you find pleasure and meaning, and that in itself is worth enjoying. Hell, knowing me, it could have been the same Frenchman and I wouldn't have turned him away, either. Though, upon reflection, I am not sure he'd have been as willing.

First of all, so true. Know of way too many hot girls that I have zero interest in because they have such shite personalities. And the other way around as well.

And J, I agree about our mutual friend. From what I've heard it's great, I'm very happy for him. Think it's great that they're going forth with it despite what other people think.

Also, pleasure and meaning is most definitely worth enjoying.

^ Oh, J., Do you realize how awesome you are?

I've kept telling him so for years! One of the most awesome men I know.

I sense a lot of jealousy in this thread.

We have no idea what you are talking about.


>_>


<_<

 

[Mr Awe]

Or perhaps by the endless number of news stories about missing women - those who are later "found" in the most horrific circumstances. And we wonder... HOW - how in the world did this happen??? Sometimes it happens with a stranger who stalks and molests, which is undeniably what happened here.

Bad things happens. Should we avoid any human contact except by the barrel of a gun because of that? No, wait, don't answer.

No, but there are smart ways and not so smart ways. This wasn't the smartest of ploys to play along with. I'm all for a bit of fun, I've definitely had my share. However, it should be with the constent of both (or more) parties. This was clearly a shock to her. This looks to be the act of a predator who saw an opening and pressed it (so to speak) for all he could.

Mr Awe

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Or perhaps by the endless number of news stories about missing women - those who are later "found" in the most horrific circumstances. And we wonder... HOW - how in the world did this happen??? Sometimes it happens with a stranger who stalks and molests, which is undeniably what happened here.

Bad things happens. Should we avoid any human contact except by the barrel of a gun because of that? No, wait, don't answer.

No, but there are smart ways and not so smart ways. This wasn't the smartest of ploys to play along with. I'm all for a bit of fun, I've definitely had my share. However, it should be with the constent of both (or more) parties. This was clearly a shock to her. This looks to be the act of a predator who saw an opening and pressed it (so to speak) for all he could.

Mr Awe

Wow.

 

[doubleohfive]

Count me in the crowd of "If TSQ was ok with it, its not creepy."

 

[{ Emilia }]

I don't feel taken advantage of...it was a fun kiss and I could have stopped it as soon as it started had I wanted to... but I'm still not sure what to think of the whole thing!

That's your answer then. If you don't feel taken advantage of and you know you had the chance to stop it as soon as it started then I see absolutely no issue with this.

None of us was there with you (unless 005 can pull off an awesome fake French accent) and only you know if there was some flirty, sexy tension between you two. If there was, where's the issue?

I mean, damn... do something crazy once in a while. You obviously both found each other attractive, you both enjoyed the kiss, and it was one of those crazy moments in life. Enjoy it, it's a fun memory.

Don't think about it too much.


ETA: I see some people said you were vulnerable. What a load of nonsense. It was a safe place and you said you felt safe and could've stopped the kiss or stepped away at any time. You weren't vulnerable. You were just being a confident woman. You decided that you were okay with it.

 

[ManOnTheWave]

It sounded a bit creepy until you "kissed him back." If everyone's okay, then I guess everyone's okay.

 

[sidious618]

If it was just the kiss it'd be a little more okay but the fact that he grabbed her breast is what makes it over the line, I feel.

 

[Thestral]

Some of the people in this thread are absolutely paranoid and a little bit (or more) insulting in trying to protect Poor Innocent Women from the Big Bad World.

...you were probably manipulated by someone out of your league...

He sounds like a pro. My daughter would have punched him in the face and called 911... and rightly so.

Spocked had the right idea with calling 911.

Yes, based on TSQ's reactions this was clearly worth the NYPD's time. Who knows, he might've had poisoned chapstick or summat.

Or perhaps by the endless number of news stories about missing women - those who are later "found" in the most horrific circumstances. And we wonder... HOW - how in the world did this happen???

Yes. He kissed her on a bridge, in broad (setting) daylight, with lots of people around. Clearly he's a psychotic rapist murderer!

 

[{ Emilia }]

If it was just the kiss it'd be a little more okay but the fact that he grabbed her breast is what makes it over the line, I feel.

Well, it still depends on the situation, how she felt, how he felt, all that.
It sounds like a long, passionate kiss so as a woman I can say that I wouldn't necessarily object to somebody touching my breast during a long passionate kiss.
It just depends on the situation and mood.

It might have been a bit inappropriate but again: We weren't there. The alarmist attitude in this thread and the "molestation" talk is way out of line in my opinion.

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

That would've freaked me out BIG time, and I'm sure I would've screamed and fought if a strange man did that to me uninvited. Hell, as soon as he started coming onto me like that, I probably would've run away even before the touching started. A stranger who does not know me has no foist himself on me that way.

The part that scares me the worst about this is that you gave him your contact information. If I were you, TSQ, I'd be changing my phone number immediately.

 

[RoJoHen]

If it was just the kiss it'd be a little more okay but the fact that he grabbed her breast is what makes it over the line, I feel.

Well, it still depends on the situation, how she felt, how he felt, all that.
It sounds like a long, passionate kiss so as a woman I can say that I wouldn't necessarily object to somebody touching my breast during a long passionate kiss.
It just depends on the situation and mood.

It might have been a bit inappropriate but again: We weren't there. The alarmist attitude in this thread and the "molestation" talk is way out of line in my opinion.

Some girls welcome a hand on their boob.

 

[doubleohfive]

It might have been a bit inappropriate but again: We weren't there. The alarmist attitude in this thread and the "molestation" talk is way out of line in my opinion.

Wise, sensible answer is wise and sensible.

Then again, this is Misc, where alarmist attitudes and going way out of line is becoming the norm these days.

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

ETA: I'm also wondering more and more if gender is not coming into this, if only subconsciously. As mentioned earlier, I doubt very much that if I were a man, and I posted this exact story, but with a sexy woman approaching me instead of a man, flirting for 5 minutes, and then stealing a french kiss, that anyone would be saying I'd been molested!

Actually, my opinion would not change at all if the genders were reversed. Uninvited is uninvited.

 

[{ Emilia }]

That would've freaked me out BIG time, and I'm sure I would've screamed and fought if a strange man did that to me uninvited. Hell, as soon as he started coming onto me like that, I probably would've run away even before the touching started. A stranger who does not know me has no foist himself on me that way.

The part that scares me the worst about this is that you gave him your contact information. If I were you, TSQ, I'd be changing my phone number immediately.

Holy shit, you would've changed your phone number?
To me that just sounds paranoid but maybe I live in happy Emiland again where nothing bad ever happens.
You can't just see criminals and sexual predators everywhere and assume the worst in every person and act. Isn't it incredibly stressful to live life like that?

At this point it's just pretty obvious that TSQ and me are certainly not you.

And the "uninvited" part is questionable. She did say "No" but we weren't there to really know if there was some sexy tension between the two. And she did say she was attracted to him, enjoyed the kiss and the situation and "kissed him back".

I suppose I'm just more relaxed and less inclined to go on paranoid rants.