Oh, I know I am. There's just something about a Scottish brogue, though, that gets me all riled up! I can't even help myself: my roommate, a Londoner originally, invited me to stay with her at a friend's flat in Scotland over the holidays (unfortunately, I couldn't go), and upon mere mention of the country a parade of Scotsmen (actors and musicians and other celebrity sorts I've been exposed to from afar), started marching across my brain completely unbidden, though not un-enjoyed, by me! It wasn't until several moments had passed that I'd realized my roommate was still talking, and I'd completely zoned out on her as the bekilted masculinity made its way through my minds eye! I'm kind of hoping he doesn't call. I'm beginning to feel it was a perfect romantic moment, and that's all I want it to be. But who knows...we'll have to see!
I would definitely classify this as a sexy moment. Contemporary society has gone totally off the rails in terms of characterizing sexual encounters (or even feelings) as creepy. People are sexual. Life is sexual. We're supposed to look at each other and give compliments and flirt and cop a feel when the occasion presents itself. That's not creepy; that's living life. There was chemistry here (and don't think I'm not jealous ). He saw you and liked you, made his move and you responded; now you have a pleasant memory and a good story. Carpe diem-- then write a poem or paint a picture about it.
Thank you, RJ, you beat me to what I was gonna say. Lots of people gone overboard about what is 'creepy. Skeletor is creepy, zombies are creepy, debunkers are creepy, what happened here is not creepy, it was quite cool, I think. I'd love to find a babe who'd do that to me. Or a very very fem male.
I think some people are very good at gauging how they can act with without making other people feel uncomfortable or violated. Perhaps this guy is just a really good judge of that. You can just get a feel for a situation sometimes. God knows, I wouldn't have had half as much fun as I have in my life if I hadn't been prepared to act in ways that some people might take as being entirely inappropriate, it's just a question of being able to measure people effectively. What might be seen as arrogant pushyness in one situation is bold and attractive self confidence in another. Although I must say, I have never found myself in a situation where I thought it would be a good idea to touch someone up in the middle of the street after a 5 minute chat That's not to say that situation could not happen though, and certainly I have found myself getting physical with a stranger in a lot less than 5 minutes after meeting them...
Ahh, your lack of faith is disappointing Deckerd Fairly common occurrence for my student years actually. Nothing particularly romantic about it though, granted
He sounds like a pro. My daughter would have punched him in the face and called 911... and rightly so.
Being tongued by a stranger? Creepy. He'd get a slap and more from me for that. And I'd probably fear he'd secretly follow me home with God only knows what intentions.
Creepy indeed, stranger grabbing at someone he doesn't know? Spocked had the right idea with calling 911.
T.S.Q., Your decision is for you to determine, When I met Dear Wife, we talked for a long time, went to dinner and just before I had to leave, I gave her the best kiss I could and squezed her as tightly I knew how... She called me later that night and she asked if we could date again soon... Sometimes "Who Dares, Wins!" is a great tactic in the dating game...
Maybe unsurprisingly, I lean towards "sexy". Well, "exhilarating" would have been my choice of word, but still. The only part I may find objectionable is the fact that he asked for a kiss, got a no, and made a try nonetheless (even if a successful one). You don't ask for a kiss, you either lean for kiss or you don't. For the rest, I think the story is made of awesome. If she felt he was taking advantage of her, she would have been more than within her right to place a good ol' knee in his groin. As she told us, she didn't feel like that. So, I don't see the problem. Is that tsq was surprised and conflicted? Well, good. I mourn for people whose life is never surprising or confused. Life is surprising and confusing. Or at least, it ought to be. People who tell her that she must feel abused and violated because a charming, handsome stranger flirted with her and "stole" a kiss in the perfect sunset should take her example and try to extract that manche à balais from their metaphorical derrière, if you pardon my French. Somehow I feel that you description of the incident might be coloured by your own fears and inhibitions.
It sounds very ... French. It definitely has a romantic comedy vibe. In the real world, it's obviously more ambiguous. But if you weren't offended by the kiss, then I guess it's not creepy. If you think there's chemistry, good for you. For you, I think that's all you need to worry about. Think of it as the night you kissed a Frenchman at sunset in Brooklyn. If he calls, you can decide if you want to go for coffee. If not, no reason not to think of this as a happy memory. If I were judging his actions, there wasn't any middle ground between a good idea and a really, really bad idea. It seems he lucked out with good idea here, so that should be the end of this. Fortuna audaces iuvat.
i'm sorry, but saying he tongued you and copped a feel without you wanting him to means he sexually assaulted you. you didn't know this guy, you did not ask him to tongue and cop a feel nor did you expect him to tongue and cop a feel. that is sexual assault in my book. and my book is very black and white. it says 'if the woman doesn't ask for it, don't do it, it's fucking assault'. so, like i said, boot to nuts and scream time.
I think it's sexy and romantic. I'm sure many of us have wanted a spontaneous moment like that. Of course, future interactions with him could change your perception of the event but for now I think you should just enjoy the magic.
Yeah, that's my main point, too. She didn't feel abused, so it's the end of it for me. Now, if she did feel he was taking advantage of her, I would be the first to suggest we skin the Frenchman. But as I'm reading it, tsq was taken by surprise but always in control. No harm, no foul. Sometimes you gotta be bold, and live with the consequences. Good, or bad. Yeah, we've noticed.
Wow, creepy! Honestly, you shouldn't have let a complete stranger kiss you in the first place in those circumstances. But, once he groped you like that, it was sexual assault. I'm surprised you'd even consider coffee. That wasn't suave seduction, that what a wham bam assualt. Mr Awe
It all depends what type of person you are, I suppose. The fact that you initially weren't sure whether the event was creepy or sexy indicates you fall somewhere in the middle of the two extremes (I imagine neither vote nor answer will agree with you completely). Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I would say that was probably a very common fantasy that just played out for you out of the blue. And fantasies are difficult to say no to because they are so rare and enchanting and almost impossible to come across in day to day life. I am not surprised you were swept away. The reason they remain a fantasy though may be that situations like that are difficult to navigate after the fact in actual reality, as you are finding out. It really is a troublesome situation though, but only because he came in a package you liked, otherwise we'd all agree it was awful behavior... the fact that he decided to take it so far so quickly suggests to me he does not view it as anything more than a fleeting "bit of fun". I would think if he had wanted to make you feel special and truly sweep you off your feet there are more unambiguous and dare I say it, elegant ways to do it. You allowed it, and perhaps even welcomed it, yes. How he saw it is worth discussing, too. Did he view it the same way you did? Who knows. The actions you describe do suggest a very predatory individual to me. Not quite creepy, just typical of a lecherous thrill seeker. I would have been more impressed with him had he organised a well-thought out romantic date for later that evening. No doubt you wouldn't have been left so uncertain how to feel after that. The fact that he designed a situation that was able to make you feel as unsure as you did is not a very good character reference, imho. It's a funny old world though, and anything is possible, perhaps he never did anything like that before and he found himself overwhelmingly drawn to you (and would never be inspired to do it on a regular basis), kind of a love at for sight type beginning with other such beautiful things to come. Perhaps he will feel inspired to relocate to New York to be with you or you will soon find yourself living in Paris somehow. Only you know how that first meeting really made you feel and what it might have been all about. Or maybe he will cast a yet different impression on the next meeting... Anyway, I am glad you are safe and unharmed. As to what I would make of that situation. I would suspect he is a very promiscuous, womanising sort of man and want to stay away as regards further intimacy, even if only for health considerations. It is not considered sexy to talk about STDs, but they are a dangerous fact, and the more active you are, especially in large cities like Paris and NY, the scarily steeper and greater the chance of exposure, even with precautions. HIV is not always immediately apparent on first test even, I wouldn't trust a clean bill of health straight away either. Not to mention the countless more infectious illnesses that are considered more minor and common - although HPV (which can happily live in the mouth and throat), chlamydia and such like don't have to be common if we were all just a little more cautious. I went to look for different city comparison statistics as a matter of curiosity and came across the rather disturbing bit of info, that there is evidence suggesting Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, may be a retrovirus, similar to HIV, there is also discussion it may be sexually transmitted, although there is no evidence to back this up, research is ongoing. There are no accepted tests for this yet. The medical community is divided on the viral nature of the illness, it has not however been conclusively ruled out. This hasn't really being reported in the UK media as far as I know, so it's news to me (although it may be well known to those of you across the pond) even though Canadian, Australian, and UK governments have gone so far as to ban CFS/ME blood and organ donors. It is all quite reminiscent of the early days of HIV. You just never know what else other horrific virus is yet to be discovered. Sources: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/24/health/research/24fatigue.html http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-11465723 http://www.nhs.uk/news/2010/12December/Pages/chronic-fatigue-syndrome-xmrv-virus-disputed.aspx To wrap up what was a long tangent, considerations about where he's been, and how he views and treats women would take the excitement/romance out of it for me.