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TOS Caption Contest #243: The Audience is Listening!

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Kirk: If you'd have to choose betwwen having an abortion and marring the guy ,what would you choose?
Marta: Well... depends.. who's the guy I'd have to marry?
Kirk: Me
Marta: I'd have an abortion!
 
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Rand had just left. It was dark. The play was engrossing. If Kirk was going to sniff her seat, there would never be a better time...
 
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Kirk: "So Harvey, are you enjoying the flick?"


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Spock: "Captain Garth, may I ask just how long are we going to play this game of charades?"


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Kirk: "Forget about the play, there's a hottie back there checking me out. I think I might have a good shot."
Thomas: "That's my wife!"
Kirk: "Huh? What's she doing back there?"
Thomas: "Giving us some privacy, to talk about Kodos, remember?"
Kirk: "Oh.... yah."
 
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Kirk (thinking): "Darkened theater? Check. Nice comfy seat? Check. Lovely young lady in the seat next to mine? Hmmm...I'm going to have a have a serious talk with my advance team."
 
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Kirk (to self): "Spock should have listened to me and skipped the plomeek. Then he wouldn't be spending half this movie in the bathroom."



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Adam (to self): "Getting them 'Kirk Versus Gorn' on Blu-ray was really inspired. They're glued to it and I can get away with anything."



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Scotty: "Hey, I never it noticed before...you have an outie."
 
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Kirk: (in thought) Whoever invited the stinking Gorn to the performance made a big mistake,
his constant commentary was distracting.
 
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Kirk: (thinking) I know she said I'm her lover but if I'm not careful I might get killed or
worse lose an eye and half a face like Leighton there next to me.
 
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Adam's version of "Freeze Frame"

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The Abrams-verse version of the Ten Commandments had a different take on the dance of Jethro's daughters.


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The green version of the Virgin Connie Swail.


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Scotty: "That's what I call a fine piece of 'lass'."


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Alexander focuses on his routine as he has missed this move every time.
 
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Alexander: Kenneth Branagh plays me in the Wild Wild West film? And WILL SMITH of all people plays James West?!?? Damn them! I can't live with the shame of it!!!
 
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KIRK: Mr. Spock,... What is with this new girl?!?! Why can't she just do it like everybody else, and simply tell us we are being attacked by Romulans,.. sheesh!



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Alexander: "First with the 'Mr. Bojangles',... and now with,... Lucy in the sky with Diamonds!!!,... Noooo Parmen,.. NoooOOO!!!"


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ADAM: (To Self)... I'll just sneak out,... real easy-like,... and everyone will blame Mr. Red Jumpsuit here for the 'ol burrito blast',... heh hehe heh

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After the station break..., join Captain Pike for the confrontation,... next on CHEATERS
 
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Scotty: "I'd kill for a wee bit of time alone with that lass. Say, whose knife is this?"


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SCOTT: Aye,... LOL!!,.. the Haggis is in the fire for sure!,.. and stuck right good to, it tis! Worry not deary,.. I'll put a 'Space Wrench' on it, and geet 'er out.
 
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KIRK: (To Self),... maybe so,... but,.. I do not believe what this guy is saying,... "it came from an invisible alien",...??



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SCOTT: I'm an Engineer, not a Gynocologist,... you want the fellow in the blue shirt.
 
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McCoy: "Wow... they take their talent competitions on Argelius Two seriously, don't they?"


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