DS9 Caption Contest #42: Odo: DS9's Founding Changeling

[LeadHead]

Happy Saturday everyone! I hope you'll forgive my Thread Title!

First up to the plate, we have the "I'm sure it's well worth the wait" Award, going to:

There was a six month waiting list to view the Orb of Multiple Orgasms

Next, we have the "Ned Flanders Father" Award, going to:

OBRIEN: Who's this Beatnik poet and where is Commander Sisko?

Next, we have the "Yeah, that song can come off the wrong way, can't it?" Award, going to:

Kira: (singing) Nothing you can say can tear me away--from My Guy...
Nothing you can do, 'cause I'm--stuck like glue--to My Guy...

I'm sticking to my guy, like a stamp to a letter--
Like birds of the feather, we--
Stick together--

I'm telling you from the start--
I can't be torn apart--
From My Guy....

Odo: I hope...she means all that in a good way....

Next, we have the "Contract Conflicts" Award, going to:

Visitor: "Ahem...I'm afraid we have a little conflict here. My contract clearly stipulates that I'm to have a body double for my nude scenes."
Dorn: "And my contract clearly stipulates that she doesn't!"

Next, the "On Set Romance Run Amok" Award, going to:

Siddig and Farrell, together: This isn't what it looks like! It's in the script!
Nana Vistor: <speechless>

Our Photoshop Award goes to:

Kira: "Commander, I'm sorry but I think I'm going to be a little late for my shift."

Sisko even managed to stay badass when he did "Here is the church, here is the steeple."

Congratulations to all of our winners and many thanks to all our participants! And now, continuing on with our Character Caption Contests, we have Constable Odo!

Happy Captioning!

 

[LeadHead]

Sisko: Odo, why are you contacting me?

Odo: To give you this weeks Crime Activities Report. I broke into your quarters as Punishment for not bringing me along.

Bashir: Here, take a look at this PADD.

Odo: Okay. What does that say, subpeona?

Bashir: You've been served. See ya!

Worf: Jadzia told me you have been calling me Worfie.

Odo: A huge pile of money and a terrified criminal. If this were Law & Order, this would be the start of a "Dirty Cop" storyline.

Odo: 70,000 corridors and nothing worth watching.

 

[Gary7]

Thanks for the win, Leadhead!

When Odo was off on an away mission, Ben Sisko would miss him terribly. Thank heaven for holograms.

Bashir: "Odo, you left us at Quarks and forgot to chip in on the bill for all the drinks. Here's what you owe us."
Odo: "But.. I don't drink! Why should I have to pay anything?"
Bashir: "Hey, we all chip in equally when out as a group. Next time, order some flavored gelatin."

Odo: "Sorry Worf, it's a humans and changelings only party."

Odo: "Quark, the laundromat owner has filed yet another complaint. You can't keep coming in here to sleep in the dryers."
Quark: "But it's the warmest place on this blasted drafty station!"

After leaving DS9, Odo took a retirement job as a movie theater monitor, to catch sneak-ins.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win!

Quark: "Ohhh, I am so drunk! Odo, please, tell me, am I holding my head or my ass?"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Sisko: Bring me Skywalker.
Darth Odo: As you wish, my master.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Odo: "I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED"

Sisko: "Odo?! You're the Evil One?"

Odo: "Hmmph. Let's see the clues I left you - shapeshifter, check, cynical outsider's view on humanity, check, rebelled against the hierarchy and was cast out of their realm, check. Now. Can I help you with something?"

Sisko: "Look, I need a way out of Admiral Watley's reception next month".

Odo was a sad witness to the most wretched state a Ferengi can be found in - Latinum Overload.

Quark: "Which bar do I covet first?! HELP ME ODO!!"

Odo: "If I keep watching this stretch of corridor, someone will eventually pass through it and commit a crime there".

Sisko (offscreen): "Can't you patrol or something?"

Odo: "Ha!"

 

[Rush Limborg]

Thanks for the win!

Odo: Felix Catus is your taxonomic nomenclature...

Siddig: Latest leaks from the rumor mill...

Rene: (takes PADD) Hmmph. Says here you're going to get over Jadzia--she's going to marry Worf--

Siddig: Amazing. And he's not even on this series!

Rene: She's going to die--the new host will be a beautiful young counselor who falls for...hmm...

Siddig: Well? Your comment?

Rene: Frankly, I can't exactly say I vouch for the accuracy of these leaks. They say I'm going to end up with Kira, after all....

Who polices the policeman?

Odo: Head exploding with The Ecstasy Of Gold, eh, Quark?

Needless to say...Odo did not take kindly to those hackers who kept taking to the Promenade's e-billboards, proclaiming that his new security measures were tantamount to creating a fascistic New Station Order.

First order of business: finding out where they lived.

 

[Ziriath]

Julian (OC): You two! Get outta my pressure chamber! Can't you practice your amateur performance of 'Space seed' somewhere else?'

 

[boco]

Odo:Ha! You're under arest for performing oo mox on yourself in a safe full with latinum!Not your latinum..by the way..

Odo: I suspect Doctor Bashir is doing Erzi, all i have to do to be sure is monitoring this corridor to see her entering and coming out of his quarters after a few hours with the uniform in a mess

Worf: Thanks for arresting him,Odo.. it was a matter of honor..He laughed when he saw my gorch

 

[Ln X]

Odo: It's over Sisko, with this padd your evil plans will be exposed!
Sisko: You fool! You just stepped onto my obvious looking shiny metal trap.
Odo: Huh?
Sisko: And now little changeling, you will die...

Bashir: I ran a full set of medical tests but I'm afraid-
Odo: (glancing at the padd) Kira's pregnant!?!
Bashir: I dunno how you did it constable, but congratulations are in order.

Odo: (thinking) Best not to touch this guy!

Odo: (thinking) This must be my lucky day! Latinum and Quark on a platter?

Odo: (thinking) This is like watching a dull version of Koyaanisqatsi, where's Godfrey Reggio when you need him?

 

[Nerys Myk]

ODO: So these are "penises"? And you're sure Kira would like me to have one?

BASHIER: Trust me on that.

WORF: Constable, you might want to remover your hand.

ODO: Why?

WORF: Not everyone keeps their genitals in the same place.

QUARK: It's not what its look like!!!!

ODO: So you didn't break into a vault filled with gold pressed latinum in an attempt to steal it?

QUARK: Okay, maybe it is what it looks like.

 

[Gary7]

After DS9, Odo sought out a greater security challenge...

 

[Nerys Myk]

GARIBALDI: Things have been pretty quiet over here, too.

 

[AdmiralGarak]

Odo: "Of course to properly experience the new 3-D Comm System you'll need to wear special glasses."
Sisko: "So that's why you're looking so two dimensional."
Odo: "What? No! Sir, I'm standing right here."
Sisko: "Yes, yes. It's a nice effect. Now where are my glasses?"
Odo: "Dammit, Captain. It's not an effect! I'm on the bridge. We rode the turbolift together."
Sisko: "Chief, clear up the static on this thing and find me my glasses!"
Odo: "We haven't even bought the 3-D Comm yet!"

Computer: "Main reactor explosion in three minutes."
Odo: "Get out of my way dammit! Move! MOVE!"
Worf: "Constable?"
Odo: "Err... Uh, no pushing, everyone. Single file. One at a time."

Odo: "Let me guess. You were trying to swim through your money bin like Scrooge McDuck, again."
Quark: "Some day, I'll figure out how he does it, Odo. Some day..."

Sisko: "Odo, I don't care how much it's reduced crime. You can't simply pump the Habitat Ring full of chlorine gas."
Odo: "Harrumph. Another one of your stifling Starfleet regulations?"

 

[Isis]

Odo: "I think we can make this business successful. But I suggest we choose a name other than Sisko Disco."

Quark: "How did you find me so fast?"

Odo: "A good Hide and Seek player won't pick the same hiding place every time."

 

[CorporalCaptain]

When Bad-Ass Sisko was interviewing candidates for chief of security:

Bad-Ass Sisko: Nervous?

Odo: Well, no one's been seen leaving, and you asked me to step into this obvious-looking trap. But no, I'm not nervous.

Bad-Ass Sisko: Nerves of steel, I like that. If you survive, you're chief of security.

Odo: Chief? I thought you were interviewing for chef of security. I guess I won't need this list of recipes.

Bad-Ass Sisko: On the contrary. Diplomacy will be important on this mission. If you know how to make Cajun-style tube grubs, I won't press this button.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Odo, sneering: Well. I didn't follow a rainbow, but I still seem to have found a leprechaun and a pot of gold.
Quark: MY HEIGHT IS PERFECTLY NORMAL FOR A FERENGI!

 

[Captain Crow]

Odo: Have you read the Good Book lately?

Sisko: Oh, fuck off Father Mulcahy!

[turns off 3-D Comm]

 

[Gary7]

Odo, sneering: Well. I didn't follow a rainbow, but I still seem to have found a leprechaun and a pot of gold.
Quark: MY HEIGHT IS PERFECTLY NORMAL FOR A FERENGI!

 

[Supernuke]

Odo was a bit nervous when Captain Sisko asked him to put on a production of Hamlet and play ALL of the characters.