Voyager Caption Contest #61: It's a new dawn...

[Yeoman Randi]

Welcome fellow Voyagers! Time to go to Red Alert but first lets open hailing frequencies and salute da winnas!

How NOT to talk to Santa!

JANEWAY: That better be the dolly you promised me when I was eight, old man!

This next picture drew two winners. Both remind us why it is so important to ask your friends which travel agency they used.......

"Imohtep... Imohtep.... Imohtep..."

And this one......

Bob: The Delta Quadrant sucks! I miss Chicago. Stuff blew up. There were smoking hot cops, smoking hot apprentices, smoking hot vampires, Fae so hot it was unreal and all the trashy romance novels I could read... And don't get me started on the Internet! It was like 90% porn! The best I've got here is that Seska chick, and she's starting to look a bit Spoony if you get my drift...

The Species 8472 picture also drew two winners.


Not sure it this channel would be worth the extra fees.....

Borg porn in 3...2...1...

And this one which was pretty epic:

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the cube
Not an implant was stirring, nor assimilation tube.
The alcoves were stacked by the plexus with care
In hopes that Saint Eight Four Seven Two would be there.

Bringing back one of my favorite childhood memories we have this~

The Tom Paris version of Wooly Willy.

DAMN that autocorrect!

Astronaut: "Damn GPS! I wanted the 'planet surface on foot,' not 'planet food services.'"

This week's photoshop was epic in it's own right~

Chakotay: "So who is this guy?"
Torres: "Not sure. But I'm impressed."
Chakotay: "Really. Any particular reason?"
Torres: "He came in through one of our emergency airlocks."
Chaktoay: "So?"
Torres: "Without a space helmet."

And this week's Morning Cawfee Spew was downright tasty~

In serious need of a breath mint.

Congratulations to da winnas and a big thank you to everyone who played!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now it's time to bring up the curtain on the new pictures just waiting to be captioned with reckless abandon!

As always i will let this brew for two weeks. Until then have fun, set a course for home and engage!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

"Hello? Anybody? There's lemon-scented air freshener in here. Lemon doesn't really fit our image."

Tall Alien: "Oh, yeah? Well, you're ugly! And in the morning, I'll be sober, but you'll still be ugly!"

 

[Gary7]

Thanks for the Photoshop pick, Randi.

It droned on, and on, and on... the "Three Priests On The Run" Voyager play was one of the few lingering social disasters the crew experienced on their long epic journey.

Kes: "Oh damned it all, I wanna pilot the shuttle, I WANNA PILOT THE SHUTTLE!"

Torres: "I don't know, guys... I'm starting to feel like these Borg costumes aren't going to be much of a hit at the party."

Chakotay: "Well, congratulations guys. You're the very first winners of our 'ugliest alien' contest."
Janeway: "We hope this helps foster good relations between our peoples."

 

[Gary7]

Torres: "Watching a sunset as a Borg drone. As if things just couldn't get any weirder on this crazy trip we've been on."

Chakotay: "And this here is Captain Spud."
Loquar: "How many times do I have to tell you tattoo face, it's Loquar!"

 

[huskers57]

Harry, the Doc and Tom really took their love of Charlie's Angels too far when they started posing for crew pictures.

With this look, Kes was sure to win the "Droxine Lookalike" Contest.

2 of 3 is suddenly aware that the ship has gone to Yellow Alert

Janeway explains that some humans are ashamed of how they look and they get tattoos.

Wax Museum of the Unknown Whatchamacallits.

 

[Gary7]

Chakotay: "And this is our resident mutant ninja turtle. Don't be frightened by his sword--it's really a fake. He's actually quite good with kids. Would you like to book him for your next party?"

 

[Gary7]

Loquar: "Can you believe that people actually think we're twins? I mean really... clearly, I'm the better looking one."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Thanks for the win.

"A room full of honey? Don't you think we're taking this "bee people" thing a bit too far?"

Loquar: "I've checked the ship's database. I'm now quite aware that Flanders and Swann's "The Hippopotamus" is not the Federation anthem. I'll thank you to keep Commander Chakotay from humming it at me".

Voyager's writing team rest in their alcoves, until activated again.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Harry the Angel: "Do good, Father Lightbulb. Obey the rules, work hard, project a humble demeanor, and you too can stay stuck at Ensign for seven years".

Tom the Devil: "Do evil, Father Lightbulb. Act irresponsibly, earn prison time, take risks and be cockily overconfident - and you too can get promoted, find a wife and child and generally have a good time".

Doctor: "You know, Good, you could try harder here".

 

[Nerys Myk]

You have activated the Emergency Theology Hologram, what is the nature of your Theological emegency?

 

[LeadHead]

Doctor: There is no other world, that's an old Soap Opera...

Paris: That was "Another World" Doc.

Kes didn't take kindly to being pulled over for Space Speeding.

Janeway: Tuvok, you're the security officer, shouldn't you be going in first-

Tuvok: Shhhhh!

Chakotay: OUR Hierarchy says "Hit the road!"

In the future, Sci-Fi Performers won't be allowed to age, but put into cold storage between conventions.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Janeway (OS): "A more eclectic collection of sexbots I've never seen! This guy is one sick puppy!"

 

[Admiral Shran]

You have activated the Emergency Theology Hologram, what is the nature of your Theological emegency?

Neelix (offscreen): Well, I was wondering why I didn't go to The Great Forest when I died.

ETH: Because you're so annoying that everyone wishes you would go to Hell instead!

Kim: DOC!

Paris: Shut up, Harry. He needs to hear the truth.

 

[LeadHead]

Paris and Kim: Heal us, Doctor, for we are skinned.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Wang: "So, what's the name of this pilot again?"
Picardo (sighs): "Charlene's Angels."
McNeill: "God, I hate reboots!"

 

[Smellincoffee]

The Doctor, calmly: Nobody expects the English Inquisition.
(crickets)
Paris: I think we need to work on the delivery of that line.
Kim: And our entrances.
Paris: Maybe if we were a bit more...zesty. Flamboyant. Latin, even.
Kim: We could wear scarlet!
Paris: -- and mustaches!
The Doctor: *sigh*

The Rev the Doctor: "Hakuchi Moya"? I'm a priest, not a new age guru. Try again.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

EMH: "I'm here to clean the pool."
os: "Your name?"
EMH: "I'm the pool cleaner."
os: "The pool was cleaned yesterday."
EMH: "It WAS clean. Today it's dirty. Somebody made a mistake in the pool."
os: "What do you mean by "mistake"?"
EMH: "Someone had a little... uh, accident in the pool."
os: "Accident?"
EMH: "There's something floating in the pool."
os: "What?"
EMH: "During some wild party, somebody got drunk and shit in the pool. I'm here to clean it up."
os: "I see, uh..."
EMH: "I ain't happy about it, but it's my job. You write names down, I clean pools. Where's the pool at?"
os: "Who are these gentlemen with you?"
EMH: "The Board of Health. They're making sure I do the job thoroughly. If you like, I can bring it by and you can verify it afterwards."

 

[Gary7]

A priest, a monk, and a shuttle pilot walk into this bar...

 

[Mistral]

The Three Tenors. World famous in Poland.

 

[Gary7]

Paris: (whispering) "Psssssssssssst. Harry, can you hear me?"
Kim: "Yes, Tom."
Paris: "Remind me, what are we doing here?"
Kim: "The doc wanted us to fill in for a backdrop in his opera."
Paris: "And we don't have to sing, right?"
Kim: "No."
Paris: "Well, that's a relief."
Kim: "Except that we'll be standing here motionless for 3 hours."
Paris: "What??!!"