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Dating

I had what I think is called an epiphany on Friday. I hit a really low point, just feeling gloom and doom and that things would never work out, and then I had this thought that I was going about things exactly opposite. I was letting the situation get the best of me, when in fact I should be trying to make the best of the situation. Corny stuff but basically it means acting instead of being acted upon. Since then I've felt about %100 better. I'm not sure how I had gotten locked into such a passive mindset to begin with but I am sure that this was a great deal of the problem.
Good for you, that's the spirit!

Sometimes a concept is too obvious for us to realize.
 
So now I'm dating a married girl, and confused as hell about what I want out of that situation.

She's working towards a divorce, but she only found out her husband was cheating on her 2 months ago, so I know she's still reeling from that ...

She's coming on way too strong, but I'm kind of just rolling with it. It seems like she wants to see me or talk to me every night and we only just met a week ago.

When I'm around her, all that I care about is whether she's happy or not. I feel like if we keep on like this I'm going to lose who I am right now.

Is this what I want? Is this why I started dating again in the first place?

Sorry if I sound like a fucking soap opera.
 
First thing's first:

You may be fucking up her divorce, depending on your jurisdction. That is, her "bad act" may wind up costing her alimony she would otherwise be entitled to. If she has children, it could also affect custody. This is not legal advice.

On the other hand, hell with it. Alimony is for losers and child custody is for squares. A few months back, there was the hint of forming a relationship with a married woman (in a separation), and I didn't take it because I was in a relationship as well. So I kept that clean.

Upshot is relationship ended soon after married woman returned to her psychologically if not physically abusive husband, and I don't even talk to her anymore because she's back on her leash--so I wouldn't even have ruined an important friendship if I'd tried and failed (or tried and succeeded and she went back to her babies' daddy anyway). So put a point on the board for restraint.:rolleyes:
 
Thanks guys, good advice, especially the alimony thing which I had not even considered.
Well, she needs to consult her local attorney. Anything she would share there would be privileged, of course, and they could advise her what consequences inter-separation infidelity may have on the outcome of her divorce.

She should already have an attorney, or be vigorously seeking one out, if she's serious about ending the marriage.
 
I say go for it. Your not the one married and it could be fun. If she wants to fuck up her own divorce, that's her decision.

Then again, don't put your dick in crazy.
 
I say go for it. Your not the one married and it could be fun. If she wants to fuck up her own divorce, that's her decision.

Then again, don't put your dick in crazy.

It's fine to put your dick in crazy, just be sure you can get it out easily.
 
I'd stay away. You don't want to be in a relationship with someone who probably doesn't even know what she wants. She might expect more from you than you realize as well.
 
I broke up with my girlfriend of almost two years back in May. It was one of those situations where you knew it was over long before it was actually over. I tried very hard to salvage the relationship and make it work, but ultimately both of us realized it wasn't worth continuing to be in a constant state of dismay. We just wanted two very different things and decided to be friends as opposed to hating each other.

I didn't waste a lot of time trying to get back out there. In all honesty, I'll be 32 in December and am tired of being single. I made a decision to put the past behind me and be bold in romantic dealings. Within a week and a half, I joined Match just to mainly see who was out there and meet new people. Oddly enough as it was, outside of Match, in real life, I met a girl about a week later at a mutual friend's birthday party and we hit it off. Started dating at the end of June. Things are going very well with her.
 
Thanks all, very good advice. Also, congats Campe98!

I guess I should mention this girl is not the only one I'm dating. There's a second girl I've went out with a couple of times who is nice (and moving at a sane, slow pace). There's also a third girl I'm meeting for the first time over the weekend. Things are certainly looking up from where I was a month ago!

I've met all of these women through OK Cupid. I've joined Match.com as well but nothing has happened on there yet.
 
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Geez dating sites are depressing. Is it really so much to ask for a woman whose loves DON'T include beer and tattoos, and/or knows the correct use of their/they're/their and your/you're?
 
Then again, don't put your dick in crazy.

Nonsense.


yeah, go ahead, and when she phones you at 3am to hysterically tell you "I'm pregnant", don't come crying to me looking for sympathy...

I have known women do that sort of thing, get yourself preggers while not 100% out of previous relationship, so second guy will stand by you and you won't be alone...


I need to find me some new gal pals.


Oh and BTW online dating isn't just full of 'strange' women. I've tried using some sites, and they're just as full of 'weird' men.
 
Oh, I have no doubt men are at least as bad. I just wish all the men who have topless photos in front of their car and talk about sex in the first convo could hook up with all the tattoo-loving, beer-swilling women, they can all talk "lik dis" to each other, and the remaining three percent of us can find each other.

Not bitter AT ALL. :D
 
The thing about 'putting your dick in crazy" is

1) always do it in a different city

2) Never give them anything but an untracable mobile number
 
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