Caption Contest #232: Damn Bureaucrats!

[Nerys Myk]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #232: Damn Bureaucrats!

KIRK: I hear the ambassador is a stone cold fox!!!! You know I'll be getting me some of that!

UHURA: I'm afraid those words don't mean what you thik they mean.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #232: Damn Bureaucrats!

Hedford: "But I don't wanna go in the lift. All the other bureaucrats point at me and laugh!"
McCoy: "Calm down, missy."
Kirk: "It's regulations.

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "We're short on space so I'm having Mr. Fox and Ms. Hedford bunk in the same quarters. Do you think they'll mind?"
Yeoman: "I don't think the ambassador will mind... But Ms. Hedford?"

 

[jep]

Kirk: "Sorry, we already have a Captain on this ship: Me."

CA: "But I'm a hero!"

Kirk: "Sorry, me again."


.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Nancy thought the threesome would be with Spock and myself.

UHURA: That explains the sobbing.

 

[Isis]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #232: Damn Bureaucrats!

Kirk: "Damn--I can't finish until we get into Starbase 11. I'm out of chewing gum, and I don't have a spare paper clip either."

<brief pause>

Kirk: "Well, at least nobody besides the three of us has to find out."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Yeoman: "Just sign here, Captain."
Kirk: "Alright...Hey, wait a minute! This is a three-day pass to Wrigley's Pleasure Planet for you and Kevin Riley! Just how many things like this have you slipped by me these past few months?"
Scotty: "Didn't ye ever wonder why the crew nicknamed her 'Radar,' Cap'n?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Yeoman: "Just sign here, Captain."
Kirk: "Alright...Hey, wait a minute! This is a three-day pass to Wrigley's Pleasure Planet for you and Kevin Riley! Just how many things like this have you slipped by me these past few months?"
Scotty: "Didn't ye ever wonder why the crew nicknamed her 'Radar,' Cap'n?"

Yeoman: "And here are your transfer orders, you're going home Sir. A shuttle will pick you up at 0800."

Kirk: "Hold on, I saw that episode. I aint going no where!!!!"

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "Scotty, we can really shrink anything that we put in the turbolift using this new device?"
Scotty: "Aye, sir. Next time we've got intruders, we'll turn 'em into wee humanoids that'll stand no chance against us."
Kirk: "So, you just energize the beam with this button and turn this knob to set the scale--"
Scotty: "Cap'n, Ambassador Fox is still in there!"

 

[Alrik]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #232: Damn Bureaucrats!

Ferris: "Kirk, we did it. We raised the Debt Ceiling."

Kirk: "That's gonna play hell with the Stock Market. Looks like my 401k just went to hell."

Ferris: "Never happen."

Kirk: "I'm sure you know best. Hey, if you have a minute, I wanted to show you something down by the airlock."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: So who is this guy?

SCOTTY: Dunno,said he represented the Lollipop Guild.

 

[boco]

Kirk: Oh, it's you?! I was expecting a woman, any woman... can't you see I'm alone on the bridge??!

 

[A.V.I.A.F.]

Ferris: You wanna get some ice cream? That'd make ya feel better. Right?

Kirk: No.

Ferris: You wanna get some McDonald's?

Kirk: No.

Ferris: You wanna take a dump in Ambassador Fox's shoes?

Kirk: (Nods nonchalantly).

Ferris: Okay. Let's go take a dump in Ambassador Fox's shoes.

 

[Gary7]

KIRK: So who is this guy?

SCOTTY: Dunno,said he represented the Lollipop Guild.

 

[A.V.I.A.F.]

Fox: (trying to remove hand from turbolift handle) Damn! First someone takes a dump in my shoes, then someone leaves Crazy Glue on this turbolift handle. What is this? "Bust Fox's friggin balls day" or something?

 

[A.V.I.A.F.]

Hedford: OMG! Someone took a dump in my shoes!

Kirk: (to McCoy) I never get tired of doing this!

McCoy: Remind me never to piss you off, Jim.

 

[Gary7]

Hedford was clearly overreacting, but what was Ferris to do?

Kirk: "Was it really all that bad? So what... he saw you naked."

 

[Rat Boy]

Fox: (trying to remove hand from turbolift handle) Damn! First someone takes a dump in my shoes, then someone leaves Crazy Glue on this turbolift handle. What is this? "Bust Fox's friggin balls day" or something?

Kirk: "Oh, that reminds me..."

*walks over and kicks Fox in the balls*

Fox: "I wasn't being literal, you jackass!"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Kirk: "What does she mean, Zefram Cochrane looks completely different? What's this First Contact she keeps screaming about?"

McCoy: "Classic nerd-rage, Jim. I need to get her back to the ship".