TNG Caption This #219: Worf, Son of Mogh

[LeadHead]

Happy Friday to all! Hope the week has treated you well!

Lets get right to the winners!

First up to the plate, we have the "The Senior Staff is always the last to know" Award, going to:

Riker: "What are you looking at Data?"

Data: "I believe I have stumbled upon the Captain's Spacebook profile."

Crusher: "..in a relationship with....WHO THE HELL IS THIS VASH??!!"

Next, the "Finest Crew in Starfleet" Award goes to:

Worf: We must protect the Captain at all costs.

Data: We'll keep you from being kidnapped Captain ... Captain?

Crusher: Jean Luc? (look over shoulder) Where'd he go.

Riker: Oh God, the Ferengi kidnapped him again?

Next, we have the "Extreme Dance Lesson" Award goes to:

DATA: Mirrors on the ceiling?

CRUSHER: They'll make more sense once we get to the bed.

Next, we have the "Open and Shut Case" Award, going to:

Crusher: He's dead.
Worf: Yes, I know. I broke his neck.

And it was even more satisfying than I dreamed it would be.

Next, we have the "So that's why Picard gets all the Babes" Award going to:

Riker (to self): "I never realized it, but bald men are sexy."

Our Photoshop award goes to:

Riker: "O'Brien, you got us out just in the nick of time. But... we've got a bit of a problem with Wesley."

Riker: Sir, what's Q mean, you and Dr. Crusher? He doesn't mean on this table does he?

Thanks to all who participated and congratulations to our winners! Continuing with our series of character centric contests, we now move onto my favorite character of all Trek, Worf.

Off we go!

 

[LeadHead]

La Forge: Hey! Come on! Can't one of you come over here?

Picard: And he was safe by THIS MUCH!

Worf: Tricorder readings indicate your next baby will be placed into a Bajoran.

Data: Okay, I admit it. I don't have the keys either.

Worf: Now, do not reappear as an ancestor on Enterprise!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Worf: "Well, there's something I don't see every day! Mind if I snap a pic for my Spacebook page?"

 

[BriGuy]

Worf: Would you mind if I put this video on my Facebook page?

Data: The holodeck appears to have been secured with a command-level security code. It appears to be Commander Riker's code. The time code indicates he has been in there for six hours. The program's name is...

Everyone: Minuet

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Worf:"Two Girls and a Worf. I like where this is going"

Laforge: (Under his breath) " sucker always get the broads"

 

[UssGlenn]

Worf: Want to see my Bill Clinton Impression?

Data: First word, Long word...

Worf: You need to dilate by HOW much?

Data: All command division personnel are now secure.
Crusher: Our bags are all packed, see you on Risa.

 

[Alrik]

Thank you for the Win LH. Keeping in character..

Worf: "Nice rack........for a human."

 

[Cakemixo]

Geordi: Worf, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Picard always enjoyed enforcing the three feet of personal space between each staff member.

The crew always thought Worf's reaction to a spider was excessive.

 

[Gary7]

Thanks for the Photoshop pick, Leadhead.

Laforge: "You're sure you don't need my help, to take one of them off your hands, Worf?"
Worf: "In a few hours... to help these fine ladies to sickbay. They'll be having a little difficulty walking afterward."

Picard: "It was... THIS big!"
Data: "I would not have believed it possible, for Klingon physiology."
Troi: "Worf, is this really true?"
Worf: "The Klingon digestive system is 3 times longer than a human's."
Troi: "Wait... what are we talking about here?"
Picard: "I was the next person to use the bathroom after Worf. Let's just say it was something he left behind... he forgot to flush."

Worf: "I stand corrected. Indeed, it can talk, in Klingon no less."

Laforge: "Data?"
Data: "It's no use, commander. When Worf left his quarters this morning, somehow a lock of his hair got caught on the locking mechanism. The door is completely jammed."
Worf: "It must be due to Klingon hair fibers containing a high tensile strength protein."
Crusher: "Well that does it, Worf. Your hair style has been out of regulation anyway. I've brought my portable hair salon kit. It's time to trim that Beatnik mop of yours."

Worf: "Argh! That does it. I'm sick of finding Wesley's chewing gum stuck under my seat!"

 

[T'Girl]

Worf: You haven't even begun labor Keiko, and you're already dilated to ten centimeters.

What a slut!

Worf: I can see the top of the head.

Keiko: The baby's coming.

Worf: Push Keiko, push.

 

[BlobVanDam]

Worf - Hm, I don't know. You have the bigger breasts, but I prefer brunettes. What do you think , Geordi?
Geordi - I don't see what any of these attributes have to do with choosing a new security officer.

Picard - And the best part is that our Starfleet medical cover paid for the whole operation. Riker tried to argue that it was purely cosmetic and compensating, but I told the Admiral that it was beneficial to diplomatic relations, and helped give us the upper hand on the viewscreen.

Worf - According to this tricorder, that push just tore you a new A. Not my words, look, it literally says that on the screen - "Tore a new A".

Crusher - Data, I don't understand. How can you have locked the holographic house keys in the holodeck? If they're holographic, how could we even use them outside the holodeck?
Data - I admit Dr, that I did not think this one through......

Worf - Nothing personal, but it was captain's orders. He said "Shut up Wesley".

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Worf: "Boy, does this bring back memories! I remember one time, K'Ehleyr and I were on Risa--"
Keiko: "Worf!"
Worf: "Right. Nevermind."

 

[Finn]

Deep Space Nine; Season 8

Episode 8; Parallels Again

Worf: You are alive? And giving birth?

Jadzia: Oh my god, Keiko wasn't kidding.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Worf: "Computer, note name change in Starfleet records. Henceforth, I shall be known as Carl Worf."
Computer: "Unable to comply. Records can only be altered by officers of command rank and over."
Worf: "Don't make me choke a bitch."
Computer: "Records updated."

Worf: thinking "Does he have to smack my head every time he does that."

Worf: "Ping pong balls? Unimpressive. A Klingon woman would use grenades."

Worf: "No hidden weapons. You are clear to go aboard the Enterprise."
Ambassador T'Pel: "Damn. And I heard airport security in the 21st Century was bad."

Worf preening
Keiko: "Damn it Worf! It isn't a mirror!"

Data: "It would be in your best interests to unlock the holodeck doors, Lieutenant."
Beverly: "We're your friends Reg, we're here because we care. It's time we intervened."
Worf: "I still think we should kill the dishonorable P'Takh."

Ceiling Worf is stopping you masturbate. You filthy little Hadi'bah

 

[Isis]

Picard: "It was... THIS big!"
Data: "I would not have believed it possible, for Klingon physiology."
Troi: "Worf, is this really true?"
Worf: "The Klingon digestive system is 3 times longer than a human's."
Troi: "Wait... what are we talking about here?"
Picard: "I was the next person to use the bathroom after Worf. Let's just say it was something he left behind... he forgot to flush."

Worf: "Captain, that really wasn't necessary."

Picard: "Lighten up, Worf, I'm just making amusing conversation."

<brief pause>

Worf: "Oh well. 'When in Rome,' as they say."

<another brief pause>

Worf: "Actually, Captain, I have a somewhat similar story about you."

Picard: "You do?"

Worf: "Yes, I do. I have it on good authority from Dr. Crusher that I haven't always been the only Klingon on board."

 

[Smellincoffee]

Geordi: If you don't have ridges, you don't have ANYTHING.

Captain Picard: Data, allow me to introduce you to our...'stands in the back and glowers' guy, Lieutenant Worf. He has a chip on his shoulder thiiiiiiiiis big.

Worf: This cannot be accurate.
Keiko: What?
Worf: According to my readings...you have never engaged in sexual congress!
Keiko: I beg to differ.
Worf: Which means...

Hail Keiko, full of grace,
the Bird is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women....

Worf: RELEASE THE TOY!
Spot: Mrrroowwwwwww!

 

[Nerys Myk]

GEORDI: Underboob. Cool.

WORF: If he tells that fish story again I'll kill him.

WORF: I find no reference to "epidural" in the database.

KEIKO: Keep. Looking!

WORF: What did I say about that damn fish story!!!!!!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Troi (thinking): "Ugh. Is he ever going to run out of Gorn sex jokes?"

 

[Gary7]

Picard: "Friends, Klingons, countrymen, lend me your ears..."
Worf: (to himself) Oh no... not another round of Shakespeare before we start our briefing.

 

[Gary7]

All it took was one more Klingon wisecrack, and Worf had had it with Wesley.